Finding a good relationship as an aspie

Post Reply New Topic

I've always wanted to have a relationship with someone but it seems so hard. I've tried dating websites but it seems too much, I met some girl through one but after a month, it was all over just because of a misunderstanding and I didn't know how to handle it effectively. Then I thought I had a friendship going with this other girl but it was just a texting relationship which I didn't want, she would make excuses not to see me when I asked her that I wanted to see her because thats what friends do. People apparently don't want to get the whole story with me, someone with aspergers.

Meeting someone in public is even more difficult, I never know what to say to someone to get things started. I barely have any friends and I wish to not be alone, anyone with aspergers would feel the same way I am right now. Anyone got some good ideas out there? I've always wanted to find a good friend, let alone love but i'm finding it to be difficult in the area I live in.

Don't give up, approaching two people on a dating website is hardly going to be enough for you to learn from trial and error or find the right partner, you need to start making approaches in real life, try to find some classes that you have an interest in. Remember not to overlook the shy and quirky girls or girls that might be in a similar situation to your own, maybe you are going for the popular, outgoing types that you are not compatible with.

If a girl does reject you, don't analyze it, don't carry on talking to her if she has no intention of being a genuine friend or partner, simply disregard her and move on to the next pursuit, it's like everything in life, it takes an iron will and persistence. Keep trying, not every girl you meet is going to be compatible with you and that is something you have to accept, you will eventually meet the right partner or girl that likes you for who you are.

With a user name like that you should have women all over you.

I feel like I'm in the same boat - I have polite aquaintance relationships with a lot of people, but very few real /friends/...
What internet dating communities have you tried? If you've only tried the bigger ones, maybe you should look for one that is more specialized, such as for people who share an interest of yours? That at least gives you a jumping-off point for conversation.

I hate to generalize but think that shy ,quiet girls are likely good partners for Aspie men .They will be much more tolerant of your social awkwardness than a popular outgoing girl would be .Popular people usually have many social contacts and like to mix with people ,not something Aspie men are usually very good at.Trying to get two shy people together can be a daunting task.Use whatever tools you can find to break down the barrier of a shy girl ,maybe ask a friend about her or get her email and start the ball rolling that way.

The problem would likely be how in the world are you going to get the ball rolling with two Aspies involved.

It's a good question but I don't know the answer. I've tried the usual dating sites but I don't get the value of them being an AS because all you really see on them is NT's that are outgoing and have too many social contacts, it's a relationship that may not last since it would be hard to keep up but there are some NT's that do understand and are willing to give an AS a chance. Those are the people to find really.

Well I'm now in a relationship with someone who's as strange and messed up as me, so it will happen, just be patient!