how should i approach a cashier that im interested in?

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tronist
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22 Dec 2011, 6:23 am

basically theres this girl that works at a grocery store near-ish my house. one night i was picking up some energy drinks before heading to his house, and i got the impression that the girl was into me // attracted to me. basically what happened was this: i was about to check out, and a guy behind me asked to go ahead since it was almost time that alcohol could not be sold legally. i said sure, since i wasnt in a hurry. she said 'that was nice of you!' and i replied 'yea im in SUCH a rush', being sarcastic and hopefully charming :S. the guy later basically ran away after tossing 2$ on the table to pay for my drink. i said goodbye, and headed out.

i tried going to see her again tonight because time is of the essence right? these things are all about timing and lack of hesitation, right? (meaning i basically already failed lol!)

so whats the best way to talk to her? if someone is behind me in line i'll have to carry the conversation on whilst staying there. i can try to be confident because that really matters, but it makes me uneasy to think about that awkward social situation that would rarely happen. i just cant emulate it in my brain at all XD.

any tips? how would you go about this?



anonymous-shyster
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22 Dec 2011, 6:32 am

Don't bother. Sorry to be disheartening but one place you cannot pick up women (besides church) is where they work. Never works.



emlion
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22 Dec 2011, 6:35 am

anonymous-shyster wrote:
Don't bother. Sorry to be disheartening but one place you cannot pick up women (besides church) is where they work. Never works.


Er. False. Met my boyfriend at my job. So never is incorrect.



Wolfheart
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22 Dec 2011, 6:42 am

anonymous-shyster wrote:
Don't bother. Sorry to be disheartening but one place you cannot pick up women (besides church) is where they work. Never works.


Perhaps it would be more difficult approaching a barmaid or stripper but in this case, I think he has got a chance with this girl.



mv
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22 Dec 2011, 11:04 am

If she's working the express lane, DON'T go through with 13 items.

In all seriousness, good luck! I've never been able to figure out how to do this myself, so I have no advice.



sacrip
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22 Dec 2011, 12:27 pm

Before you do anything, make sure she's not already dating someone. You don't even have to ask her directly, just say something like, "Yeah, that movie looks like a good date movie, you and your boyfriend should check it out." If she says, "I don't have a boyfriend," your odds just got a lot better.


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VivianMorrigan
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22 Dec 2011, 12:33 pm

Yeah, I met my last long term relationship where I worked too. I was working the toy dept and he was checking out Magic: The Gathering cards. :heart: :heart: :heart:

So, I don't know about most women, but I know that I find it really flattering when the guy just comes right up to me and starts talking. I feel really flattered when someone seems to find me interesting and worthy of conversating with. I'm also really really easy to talk to once someone approaches me though, I kinda spill everything that is in my head to whomever so thinks to ask...so I might not be the best individual for advice or comparison... but I tried! ^_^



Lecks
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22 Dec 2011, 12:41 pm

Good luck, OP. I wouldn't be able to do it, I'd feel very uncomfortable chatting someone up while they were doing their job, especially when there are people waiting behind me.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Dec 2011, 12:55 pm

I wouldn't be able to do it either.

There's that cute receptionist at the gym but there's no approriate way to converse her. Her superiors are also in the next room who would think she's wasting time and might cause her trouble.



Dilbert
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22 Dec 2011, 1:12 pm

You need to get to know her better first. Talk to her every time you are there. Ask questions. Wekeend plans? Family? Last movie she saw? FFS be natural about it. Like talking to a good friend.

If some times goes by and she's still chatty with you, then take the receipt from her, write your number on it, and give it back to her.



tronist
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22 Dec 2011, 5:14 pm

Dilbert wrote:
You need to get to know her better first. Talk to her every time you are there. Ask questions. Wekeend plans? Family? Last movie she saw? FFS be natural about it. Like talking to a good friend.

If some times goes by and she's still chatty with you, then take the receipt from her, write your number on it, and give it back to her.
haha 'be natural' is hardly something in my repertoire XD. i'll certainly try my best, but regardless of what new person im talking to, the vast majority of the time i feel different and socially awkward by the way they interact with me :S

im straight ABYSMAL at smalltalk. its like i consciously want to make smalltalk, but my brain says 'THIS IS BORING' then turns off or something lol. i cant seem to keep it going about 'smalltalk' topics. ive heard 'listen and just ask questions about whats being said, and nod your head and smile, and make jokes' but putting it into action doesnt seem to work out very well XD. usually it takes some time knowing someone before i am able to be natural around them.

bleh.. either way i'll do my best and hopefully learn from it to get better. maybe the next girl im interested in that i feel also likes me will either accept my odd-ness, or see a more 'hardened / experienced' version of me and i'll be able to make something out of it like a date :D

any more advice anyone?



Koanic
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22 Dec 2011, 5:31 pm

You are trying to pick up a hired gun in a situation with bad logistics as a newbie. She may not even remember you, depending on how busy the place is. The odds are stacked against, my friend.

Chatting up women is a skill that generally transfers across women. You need to build up this skill with practice.

Trying to build a specifically tailored approach to one girl is the wrong way to do it. You are overinvesting in her before she invests in you, which subcommunicates neediness and lack of abundance. This will bleed through in the interaction.

It's better to begin practicing interactions regularly with a broad range of women you're interested in. Keep a log of your interactions and learn as you go. You will build up momentum and begin to see results.



Koanic
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22 Dec 2011, 5:38 pm

Also, since you admit you're terrible at small talk, commit to doing a terrible job instead of a great one during these interactions.

This will free you from perfectionist compulsions, relax you, and make you more genuine. You might be surprised by the results. You might find most of your performance assumptions are incorrect.

Just make sure to record the interactions afterwards so you can learn from them objectively instead of reacting to them emotionally.



Miharu
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22 Dec 2011, 7:15 pm

Grab a bag of chips. Cassualy walk over to her. Be like, hi i'd like to buy this bag of chi-- HI I REALLY LIKE YOU WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME PLEASE WE CAN WATCH A MOVIE TOGETHER AND SHARE THIS AWESOME BAG OF CHIPS -ps, that's all.



Lecks
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22 Dec 2011, 7:57 pm

Miharu wrote:
Grab a bag of chips. Cassualy walk over to her. Be like, hi i'd like to buy this bag of chi-- HI I REALLY LIKE YOU WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME PLEASE WE CAN WATCH A MOVIE TOGETHER AND SHARE THIS AWESOME BAG OF CHIPS -ps, that's all.

I can not imagine a scenario where this would fail.


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anonymous-shyster
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23 Dec 2011, 12:02 am

I can...think of many instances where a woman lacks a sense of humor. How many women comedians do you see (that are any good)?