How does one avoid the temptation to covet?

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Not a religious type by any means, but I see the wisdom in the ten commandments...I see them as existing as a guide to help us avoid much misery we inflict on ourselves and others. I have trouble with coveting. Not only do I feel envy for others who are more talented and more successful than I, but I covet and feel envy for those who have great, beautiful wives that I can never possibly hope to have.

I know I should stop this negative fixation. I try to tell myself all the ways I'm fortunate, and remind myself that even if I am not meant to be loved, and to be alone my whole life, I've still been given a lot to be grateful for, and I need to stay focused on my purpose to make a great work of art for the world.

But it is a hard road. Gotta stop thinking about it, and thinking about women with whom I have no hope. Must forget all illusions I can be loved. Gotta stay focused and on the ball.

Now back to the script!

Are you sure you're autistic? I can't imagine feeling covetousness. Horniness.

Just focus on your special interests (art?),

NTs place value on their social relationships.

People with AS place value on their knowledge/abilities. Ultimately it's up to us to prove the value of these things, as they aren't outwardly visible (like NTs social possessions are).

And let this console you also: History remembers great advances in knowledge and special contributions to art, music, science, etc. Rarely does history record the NTs' social accomplishments. There is no wikipedia page for the man/woman who had the most friends and a beautiful wife. There are thousands of pages for people who made contributions to society through art, etc. Go for it!

At the risk of offending the hosts, the question has been asked, so I'm answering it.

I honor you for your respect in the Ten Commandments, and for your wanting to live by them. If covetousness, manifested as greed, isn't the world's greatest problem, it's up there.

There are no acceptable forms of covetousness. All of them are forms of idolatry, according to Exodus 20;3, since we put whatever it is that we covet above God Himself.

I'm sure there are many more, but here are two links I looked up and looked at about resisting covetousness and other forms of temptation:

http://www.ankerberg.com/Articles/pract ... 205W2A.htm
http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Temptation-to-Sin

As you struggle with this, may other of faith here join me in praying for you.

Have A Great Day!

Rob

This has already been said, but everyone has their own talents. Learn to appreciate who you are as a individual and develop your own personal skills.

They say the grass is always greener on the other side. Someone out there is possibly looking at something you have and is jealous. Maybe an unhappily married person wishing they had your freedom.

The trick is not to let the things you wish you had become all consuming obsessions that you waste all of your time pondering when there are more productive things you could be doing with your time.

Covetousness isn't the same as setting goals for yourself. If there are things you wish to change in your life set yourself small attainable goals to work toward to take yourself closer to what you are looking for.

I thought i'd just edit this to point out I mean working toward developing a relationship of your own, not working yourself toward stealing someone's wife.

Find someone single to "covet" instead.

Coveting isn't a bad thing imho. It becomes a bad thing when you can't deal with it.

It's what urges us to improve ourselves so that we may achieve what we longed for. Never stop wanting to improve yourself, both mentally, physically and socially.

NEVER

If I remember correctly, my rabbi said it's not covetousness unless you want to take the thing or person that the other person has, and plan ways to take it/them, and act on them. If you just admire what they have and want your own version of it, that's not covetousness. One person's opinion.

First of all, drop the "no one will ever love me" schtick - it's a self-fulfilling prophecy and you'll never accurately understand what your real potential is until you lose that nonsense.

Secondly: Don't judge your insides by other people's outsides - it's quite possible that if you had all the facts, you wouldn't be envious at all.

Find your own happiness, whatever that is, don't simply try to imitate what you think is someone else's happiness - it's a fool's errand...

I suppose I don't regard it as a schtick, but rather a conclusion I've arrived at after an extensive period of clinical testing, you could say. I've attempted to date too many times to count. When I've failed, I've tried to alter my approach in every conceivable way, always producing the same result: failure after one date. It makes sense then, after eliminating all the other variables, that the problem is....ME. Rather, a fundamental, unalterable part of ME. The AS in me, which no matter how much I fake normality, sooner or later the AS comes out, and women figure out after one date that they can do better.

Dating was making me miserable, and given that there is no possibility any woman would love me or tolerate me, I seek to do something else to fulfill my life. But it is hard because every time I see a pretty girl or an interesting one, I can't help the urge to want to get to know them better, only I know I must not, because it will only result in heartbreak and more failure and wasted time better spent doing SOMETHING else that will justify my reason for living at all. Because it is not possible I can be loved. So rather if I can achieve some measure of respect for the good work I've done, that is not so bad.

I'm simply seeking to transcend these urges, just as any addict sees to quit cigarettes or drugs or alcohol. Only with me, I am trying to quit my addiction to wanting to be loved and have a companion, because it is a dangerous addiction that has only caused me pain and heartache, and I have no hope of ever finding someone who won't wind up rejecting me.

I'm trying to shut all thoughts of women or dating or love out of my mind, but it is not easy in a society that pressures us to couple up, and being surrounded by coworkers and friends who are all getting engaged and married to such smart, attractive, outgoing women. Of course, my friends are all good looking, outgoing people who don't have what we all have to deal with, and although I strive daily to improve myself through running, strength exercises, better diet, even penmanship and language, I know it will all not matter in the end because I am fundamentally damaged goods. So I do it for my own satisfaction, and indeed I am very satisfied with my life. At least, I try to tell myself that I've had great fortune...a nice place to live, finally having a good job and some money, and continuing my creative work as a filmmaker. I try to be grateful for all that and not fixate on getting more. I am NOT MEANT TO BE LOVED, and that is okay. If only I could shut women out of my mind forever, if only my mind could wield total control over my bestial instincts, and my desires to be loved, I would be much the better off.

thanks all for the advice.
BR

Stop fantasizing about the women you see. That will nip the coveting in the bud. No fantasizing = no coveting.