How I found a relationship.

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I met my girlfriend at the college, and I knew right away that she was interested in me because she kept looking in my direction. I started out just by getting her to talk, and listening to what she had to say. The next time I met her she was acting subtly possessive towards me, and after that I asked her out. She said 'yes'.

It took a while for me to learn those signs, but it makes asking someone out a lot easier and significantly reduces your chances of being rejected. It definitely takes practice to notice it, as the signs are very subtle, but it's worth it. You also won't find someone interested in you every day, I admit, but as long as you're halfway decent it won't be so rare as to render you incapable of finding someone. You just need to be ready when it happens.

well done! sounds like you paid close attention to the signals she was giving you.

how long have you been dating?

You do'nt have to be an Aspie to miss those signals. There are frustrated women all over the land sending them out to nice but clueless NT men.

The loveliest male mates I have had, have all been utterly useless at knowing when a woman wants them. There is a correlation I think.
So well done for tuning up your antennae.

No girl has ever kept looking at me, this is a too obvious to be missed.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 02 Jan 2012, 6:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

I remember when I was with my friend Matthew, this woman gave him a couple of quick flirty looks (looking up, smiling, raising an eyebrow) and he was totally oblivious to it. I wonder how many guys totally miss those signals.

Good for you Ivey_Crest. Well done.

I don't think a girl has ever given me signals, or 'looks' in that way.

I know I have to them by accident.

You sure? It is easily missed. And if you have missed it, how would you know?

Well, all these years at school and college I surely had to notice once at least, or some colleague/friend had to notice that some girl was looking at me. "Hey, I think she's looking at you" --> this happens a lot among colleagues and at times I did it myself (noticing that some girl is looking at girl and notifying him about her) , but it had never occurred to me.

Nothing is 100% sure but the probability that I've missed it and all my buddies missed it too every time is very slim, well at least during the academic life.

Well I just took a look at that photo on that picture thread and I think you look perfectly lovely so if you are a nice guy too then Im sure girls have fancied you and you havent known.
If they havent been looking at you, I think it might be more to do with attitude (running yourself down, or seeming overly keen, or overly confident, my guesses from a couple of posts) than physical looks.
That website sounds stupid. To me folk who fancy men or women, or make judgements (and are willing to express them) based on photos are immature or thick or shallow.
The photo itself is staged, nothing to do with how you are when you talk, what you believe, how you think, your kindness - these are the things that make lasting adult sex appeal.

You honestly look lovely, at your age I would look and if what came out your brain was hot I would find your face and body hot. So the girls are looking, and if you are a nice guy they are also thinking about it.

Further there is a "geek" effect I have noticed in my 40s.

If you are a bit geeky (Aspies geeky?) then many geeks are later bloomers. The number of geeky guys I know from Uni who now have THE most gorgeous wives (physically and mentally), is very amusing.

The girls your age are practicing with the confident, cocky guys, those who always get the girls. The smart ones will then learn that the shallow nob-ends make rubbish partners. By the time they have learnt that the geeky guys are standing by, ready to treat them better than the shallow nob-ends have, given it all a bit of thought.

Not all geeky guys are socially inept; in fact, very few of them really are. Geek =/= socially inept.

catching signals is one thing
some of us can see those easily
being able to casually open talks is often a much harder issue

True, but equally you don't want to end up with someone else's "cast-offs".

So you are saying that you should only go out with women who have never had a date before? Because last I heard "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince." Women/girls only learn by trial and error when it comes to men/boys. No one can judge who is right for you.

No, I'm not saying that at all.

I was more saying that you don't want to be landed with a bundle of someone else's problems after taking sympathy on a girl - i.e. really being used by someone who is taking the piss.

I like older ladies myself but I wouldn't want to be someone else's meal ticket/childcare service/therapist.

What? thats a really weird way to look at it. Human beings "cast-offs"?

I think you are thinking about clothes, not humans?