HighPlateau wrote:
What I think is great about your profile is that it contains lots of real information. You come across as an energetic, enthusiastic person with a full life, not needy, who genuinely wants to meet someone and is prepared to put himself out there. You also manage to convey a great deal of honesty, which is quite a trick and would surely attract a great deal of positive attention.
Here are my tweaking suggestions:
- Avoid reviewing yourself. To describe yourself as 'charismatic' in the first paragraph doesn't work. This word can only be used by someone else to describe you, because it is a subjective judgment of your outward impact on them, i.e. whether you have charmed them or not. So find a different, accurate adjective that conveys actual information.
- 'Talkative' cuts both ways, and could imply you monologue someone's head off. How about 'sociable' or 'I enjoy conversation', something that is personality rather than behaviour-driven?
- You've spoken about your qualifications, but forgotten to say anything about your employment situation or intentions.
- Where you refer to keeping healthy, add something about how you are working on fitness. You look like a big bloke in the photo, and that could raise a few question marks about where your size came from and where it is going unless you cover it properly.
- The paragraph that starts "I am a very funny, good-looking, studious ...", again could read as a self-review. This would be fixed if you inserted words like "People tell me [I am very funny, good-looking, etc]."
- Check for repetitions - I picked up duplication of "funny" - again, this is best kept for other people's assessments of what you're like.
- Any personal habits (pro or con) that are essential to you in the other person, e.g. re alcohol, tobacco, pets?
One last thought - if it is an essential yes/no filter for you, you might want to spell out at the beginning of the religion paragraph whether or not it is essential to you that she has a religion.
[I think it's fine to mention anarchist leanings, because it adds dimensionality to an otherwise fairly materialistic impression, but I didn't see it in your profile - poor reading on my part, or already edited out maybe?
]
Good luck.
1. Employment. I am currently unemployed, but only due to bad luck due to the economy. I have an already well-established career path, but was laid off and it's been difficult finding more work. Unfortunately, there are people who will not differentiate between those people and lazy slackers with no direction.
2. The pic was taken just 3 weeks ago, but I have since began a diet.
3. I deleted the political reference because (a) I don't have requirements for someone in that regard, and (b) virtually everybody with the same interests are liberal and I am not, and there are people who consider any non-left-leaning views to constitute bigotry and intolerance to those who adhere to them, even if those people are perfectly tolerant.