Is it wrong for me look into guys in my culture

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Here is a question I been poundered for months. My dad is west Indian guyanese mixed east Indian, black, white emigrant and my mom is a light skinned african American. I have been very interested in my west Indian hartatge lately and I thought of falling in love andmarrying someone of my own culture because I want to get closer to my west Indian heritage because I felt left out of it because both all my cosions are full west Indian and becouse it seems my mom is african American we don't seem make make guyanses west indian heritage things like food. I have more understanding of my west indian heritage much more then my African American heritage. I feel more west Indian then African American. Sadly though I live a state which has bearly west Indian people. Maybe I should to new York were my family is and a huge west Indian population there were I can feed my carioustiy. Am I wrong to want only a lover in my culture.

I'd be surprised if you have a choice who you love.

My best friend at primary school was the exact same mix as your dad. It's a pretty unique culture, most people don't know it exists.

I don't think there's any problem there.

Classically(though less so now), most relationships tend to be among members of a similar culture anyhow.

Thanks but also speclpy is wrong to have attraction to west Indian guys with a east Indian heritage or mixed heritage with at a least a east Indian heritage like me. seeing that am not attracted to black guys I know that's being picky. It comes a lot from having alot family with west Indian east Indian heritage so I love what's images in front of me. And never been attracted to black men. Please don't trash me on this.

I don't see why anyone would trash you for sexual preferences. That's not something you really have any control over.

If I may expound on the above for a moment:

For starters, what is your concern here? Are you perhaps afraid that this may make you bigoted in some way? I can assure that on its own, it does not.

For example, can you tell the difference between saying "I am not physically attracted to ___ men" and "all ___ men are hideous"?

The first is a statement of personal preference: you are speaking primarily of one of your own attributes. The second is a value judgement on a group of people, and is thus bigoted.

Saying you do not find an individual or a group of individuals sexually attractive does not inherently mean that you think less of them as a group than others. It can be quite the opposite, actually. See sexual harassment and objectification of women, for example.

Remember, there are many subconscious, chemical, genetic and epigenetic factors that go into sexual attraction.

So unless you're into underage kids or something, I wouldn't worry about it.

I dont see having a list of criteria as a bad thing. In fact I highly recommend it! A list can help ensure you find someone you're going to be happy with, and when the time comes to see if someone measures up, there may be a lot of things on that list they meet, and a few that they don't. Having a cultural expectation when you live away from that culture makes fulfilling that requirement more of a challenge, so I think it comes down to 3 potential choices.

1. Relocate to the culture area, that way you can assume that takes care of itself and you can focus your selection on other aspects of compatibility. If moving is not an option but you wouldn't mind moving AFTER you found mister right, I would seriously recommend a quality match making site, that could help increase your odds of success.

2. Be prepared to not have all your expectations met. The more you add to a list, the better idea you'll have of what kind of mate you're looking for. Of course the more things you have on that list, the less likely you are to find someone that matches them all. So when the time comes to get a pen out and see how a prospective mate measures up, what you're willing to live without is up to you. But i'd suggest that if you have a hundred things on that list and the only thing they don't meet is cultural, your multicultural upbringing may make lessen the importance of that particular aspect as opposed to someone who grew up in a single culture.

3. Be prepared to stay single for as long as it takes. If you're not willing, or able to move, and you want that perfect mate with the perfect culture too, I'd only suggest this choice if you feel like it's better to live life single then to settle for anything less.


Hey it's your life. Make good choices, and good luck to you!

[quote="Sagroth"]If I may expound on the above for a moment:

For starters, what is your concern here? Are you perhaps afraid that this may make you bigoted in some way? I can assure that on its own, it does not.

Am just afraid just of people judging me, people judge me harslfy. I have people on yahoo anwers trash me on this question. And I have some people concerning that I have to bourden my opitions. I know everyone should have an open but I made up my mind. I however am concern I might throw away a chances to be with some one not of my own culture. I know people from different cultures marry all the time. I happen to love different cultures But I fill left out from my culture experience that I want in. I just happen to be attracted to my culture the most. I will try to keep a open mind.

For example, can you tell the difference between saying "I am not physically attracted to ___ men" and "all ___ men are hideous"?

I just know over the years I have hugely feeling am not physically attracted to black men. And no not all black me are not hideous like everyone there are attractive and non attractive people. Even if I find. A black man who looks attractive I am still not physically attractive to them

The first is a statement of personal preference: you are speaking primarily of one of your own attributes. The second is a value judgement on a group of people, and is thus bigoted.
I don't see how am being bigoted on judgement. Can you please carliyfil on this question for me.

In regards to the Yahoo Answers bit: As the Mythbusters say after blowing something up, "Well there's your problem." Yahoo Answers is not the best way to get objective moral responses. The internet is a wild and wooly place.

Now to skip ahead to the last: please understand, I was stating a hypothetical and not accusing you of anything. But to explain the difference between the two:

The first one is a statement about yourself. You are saying "my body responds to this stimulus in this manner." You're not faulting anyone else or saying they are bad or anything else. Nor is your preference a conscious choice.

In the second example I provided, you are saying something negative about an entire group. And not because of an automatic body response(or lack thereof), but because of conscious, biased thought on your part.

It's a complex distinction to make, but an important one nonetheless.

Being near family, if they are supportive, is a great thing. That sounds like a good deal. I'd also recommend finishing school and getting your personal goals worked out before you even think about getting involved in a relationship. Nothing will put an end to education and career potential faster then jumping into a relationship, exempting surprise children of course. Then again, if one were willing to set that all aside for the perfect mate, that is a different story.

If you really wanted to you could perhaps spend some time in Guyana? However, Guyana isn't the safest place in the world - it's a somewhat dangerous place to go, with a lot of crime - particularly violent crime - particularly in the capital, Georgetown.