I hope I didn't screw up a potential relationship...

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Descartes
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08 Jan 2012, 12:51 am

This evening, while texting a guy I really like (who reciprocates those feelings), I made a mention about something that he was very self-conscious about, to which he snapped at me, and I retorted back. Then he sent me a text basically saying that he was tired of me always making him out to be the as*hole, and, two texts I sent him later (one of which was an apologizing text), I still haven't heard back from him. It could just be because he's distracted and not answering texts right now, but I'm not sure if it's that or if he's so aggravated with me that he's ignoring me.

Honestly, it was probably just a case of the "poor choice of words" (curse my Aspie-ness...), because he took offense at something that I did not intend to be offensive at all. I let him know that, but he never responded to my apology. Now I'm worried that he's so pissed off at me that he'll want to forget meeting me or pursuing any relationship with me (we were supposed to meet in person soon). I'm feeling kind of depressed about this. This wouldn't be the first time he's gone off on something that I said, either. He knows about my being autistic, by the way.


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MountainLaurel
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08 Jan 2012, 3:55 am

He might be busy, or he might be training you to walk on eggshells with him.

In the scenario you presented, please worry less about messing up and worry more whether or not this is an unhealthy manipulation. If he can't get past a minor gaff like this, it may be that he will be trouble.

Life's too short and relationships too complex to stay mad or withdraw for long periods of time over the small stuff. Use this instance as a test of what kind of guy he is; and if he's a jerk; let'im go. You're worth having a guy who can ride out the little stuff without punishing you. Know what I mean?



cinbad
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08 Jan 2012, 4:15 am

At least you tried to apologize and explain. It shows that you are capable of handling arguments.
Give him some time to reevaluate, I am sure just one small slip along with your apology should be enough for him to forgive you. Don't hound him, but if in 2 days he hasn't responded, contact him as if it never happened. You can lead up to it when you get some small talk in to calm the tension.


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Last edited by cinbad on 12 Jan 2012, 4:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Wolfheart
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08 Jan 2012, 5:12 am

MountainLaurel wrote:
In the scenario you presented, please worry less about messing up and worry more whether or not this is an unhealthy manipulation. If he can't get past a minor gaff like this, it may be that he will be trouble.


I agree, you are more than likely going to say something inappropriate because of your AS, you need someone who has a mutual understanding of how it affects you and can show patience and acceptance when you do say something inappropriate.



Tequila
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08 Jan 2012, 5:27 am

Wolfheart wrote:
I agree, you are more than likely going to say something inappropriate because of your AS, you need someone who has a mutual understanding of how it affects you and can show patience and acceptance when you do say something inappropriate.


You also don't want to meet a predator who uses your weakness against you.

I'd bin him.



Radiofixr
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08 Jan 2012, 8:48 am

I make mistakes like that and say the wrong thing and apologize and feel bad about it-sometimes it takes the other person a while to respond but I always feel the same way you are feeling right now before it happens-I am so glad he knows about your AS up front-I would like to find a guy that understands-though I had-also on the spectrum-didn't feel the same way about me as I did about him.


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