BF's Commitment Issues or Unnecessary?

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Before we became an item, my boyfriend, who is on the spectrum, told me he never saw himself being married or in a long term relationship before he met me and that had commitment issues. I accepted him regardless b/c I really liked him and wanted him anyway.

I have now become completely head over heels obsessed with him, and yet, he seems to not feel the same way, even though I know he is caring in his own way.

He doesn't seem to be as clingy/needy as me
He doesn't seem to be interested sometimes
He doesn't seem to NEED me.....

He holds my hand, he hugs me and there are some, although VERY few intimate moments, since we're never really alone, but I don't know whether it's his fear of commitment or maybe he just doesn't love me as much as I love him? Maybe he just doesn't need me?? I don't know what to think about this.....i mean, we're so similar in our personalities, and we get along great, and we're super comfortable with each other, but he never texts me just to say hi, or any of the subtle hints, telling me that he's really interested in our relationship.....and i know he is but he doesn't show it....why? Any advice/ideas would be really helpful.....thanks.

You need to accept him as he is. Aspies tend to need a lot of personal space when they are in relationships because they get overhwlemd with closeness after a while.

I will definitely accept him the way he is, I just want to understand him first.....and make sure he wants me as much as I want him.

That's good; lots of women in relationships with Aspies who post here are expecting they would change. The best way to figure out how he feels about you is to simply ask him & tell him how you feel about him. The signs that are in typical relationships may not be there with Aspies; being direct is the best approach with us

I agree completely with Nick above me. Ask him directly. Heck, it seems as though you could word it exactly as such: "Do you want me as much as I want you?" He might be suave and say "No, I want you more." or he might ask for clarification on how much you want him so he can compare, which might be more of an Aspie thing to do. So long as you can ask him for a reassurance once (Or once in a while; Also! If you think you'll want to be reassured that he wants this, and you think you'll need to be reassured more than once, tell him that. "I need to be reassured once in a while about this." But make sure he doesn't think that you're doubting him, but instead just tell him it's who you are.), and you can accept him as he is now, then you've got it made.

He probably doesn't feel the need to be reassured about how you feel, while you want to be reassured about his end. That's the difference I see between you two. Making a compromise or just accepting it are two options. Good luck!