Why not just date the same sex?

Post Reply New Topic

So I was talking to my friend the other day and she said in a long term relationship, you need someone to be like a best friend, who understands you and you can share your life with. You need to be able to be friends with your partner. So I was thinking, a lot of people want someone who they have similar interests, values, things in common, and are kinda like them. Well of course you don't want them to be a mirror image of you. So I was thinking, why not just date someone of the same sex. Why are we so focused on heterosexuality? Sure we can still find someone of the opposite sex too but wouldn't people have a higher chance at finding there soul mates if they dated the same sex too?

Biological imperative trumps any thinky stuff you imagine in your head.

I wish I were gay :/ men are easier.

Because most of us aren't gay. Strange thing, that.

People want to date someone they are attracted to, or who fills any of the required roles they desire in a mate. Some people want children, some people just want sex and they believe anal sex is nasty, some people desire to be around someone that gives them sexual pleasure.

The human mind is a complex thing and the human life in regards to social confuses me tenfold.

I have often asked why people strive to date a particular gender, be it gay men only dating men, or straight men dating women, it is all the same. and is usually decided on which sex they want to have sex with.

A female friend took me to panera's bread one day, but it was not a date, it was a friend thing. If a guy takes her to go to panera, that is constituted as a date.

so I really don't understand this whole thing, I think it all has to do with sexuality, hormones, and pheromones.

I really don't think it's possible to change your sexuality as much as it's possible to change anything like AS/ADD/etc. There's nothing wrong with being straight or gay or bisexual or whatever else, but I have a hard time believing anyone can simply choose what they are attracted to, and those advocating that sort of notion. Sure you can certainly try, but then you wouldn't be honest with yourself and ultimately I feel either the relationship wouldn't work or it would be empty.

I like my male friends and don't see a problem with most(and those that I do, usually have redeeming qualities to make up for it), but I just can not connect with them on the same level as I can with females. Aside from not being attracted to males physically, there really is no room for as deep a relationship beyond "guy stuff" that tends to go on in normal friendships anyway. They are there just for fun, really. Females, on the other hand, from my experience are generally a lot more understanding and are less quick to judge or fall victim to social stereotypes that it feels like most of my guy friends follow in fear of being seen as anything other than manly.

That's not to say that there aren't any I've hated. There are some that just use others for seemingly no reason at all other than to laugh at or bully, in a sense. Starting around the time I turned 13, I'd dealt with one for around 5 years. I shouldn't have been so obsessed, and in the back of my mind I knew I was pretty much just being messed with what with her finding reasons to hate me, and then just talk to me out of the blue months later. Suppose I should be glad to at least have had that as a learning experience so that I know the type of people I should just avoid altogether. Sad thing is, it's easy to spot them, but some of my guy friends only hear what they want and just don't seem to listen to me when it's obvious to me and others that they're being taken advantage of.

But then there are also as*holes on the male side of things as well, so it balances out. Point is, regardless of who's nice or not, I've never been attracted to a male in the same way, or really in any way. It is great if you have been, but you can't just assume anybody can just flick a switch and automatically change their sexuality.

I'm just not attracted to other guys.

For all the "Im just not gay" responses or Im just not attracted to the same sex. Relationships are not all about sex in fact sex and attraction only makes up a small part of a relationship. I'm talking if your looking for a long term partner to share your life with that understands you. Then think, does that person really have to be the opposite sex as you? Like why does that have to be a requirement. Sure it can be but for some people(aspie and NT), finding someone of the same sex that understands them and can be a life partner might be more probable then trying to find someone of the opposite sex. Especially all those aspie guys who claim that NT females are repulsed by them.

This from two hours ago is still true.

Well because I am mostly straight. I mean I've done some minor fooling around with other females and liked it..........but I don't think I could do the whole intimate relationship thing with another female.

actually i sort of agree. i think that in many cases attraction is not as fixed as people tell themselves. i do think that attraction to one gender is probably one of the least changeable preferences, but i have met many people that protested an absolute preference yet they turned out to have leanings one way or the other. i think that for anyone who isn't fully one way or the other, some flexibility may be a good idea.

If you're looking for a sexual relationship you need to find someone who is of the gender you are attracted to. If you are only looking for the emotional connection w/o the sexual it shouldn't really matter. Although, for some reason I have found that personality wise; women drive me crazy, so I'd never date them ever.

I'm not gay but I've thought about dating guys before because gay guys are the only people who are ever attracted to me but the idea of doing sexual stuff with a guy really freaks me out & so does the idea of me kissing a guy. I would be willing to have an asexual relationship with a transvestite thou

Not attracted to women. Just...no. XD

Bromance lol

Relationships are not about sex... just sexual attraction. Ever seen what many girls and guys wear on these dates? Cleavage showing shirts, jeans that show a nice butt, make-up galore, nails, BLING! and for the guy it is usually a shower, a haircut, nicish clothing, and the air of masculinity.

I would not mind dating a female if we spent that hate in the library researching animals. and i would not mind dating a guy if he was cute. that would be a very silent date...

but the thing is, it is NOT all about sex, but sexual implications ARE involved. DATE turns into RELATIONSHIP on the hierarchy scale of social acceptance. If you are not planning on having a RELATIONSHIP than you do not want to DATE. but having a PLAYDATE is a different story.

granted this all has to do with the whole Social Faux Pas crap and I do not fully understand it myself. But if I go on a date with someone, I want it to be with someone I want to go on a relationship with. but since I am not interested in a relationship, a date to me would be free food and time around someone who (assumingly) likes me, and not just my boobs and butt.

this is all very complicated and everything I have learned about it has been on television shows and from people talking to me about it at school... so i don't really understand it.

I could be DEAD WRONG for all I know... T^T

ask people who actually have strong social bonds this question. That way you will get better answers.