Why does time apart make me feel more secure with men?

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ghostar
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28 Feb 2012, 4:56 pm

I have noticed that when my boyfriend wants to see me everyday, I can't tell if he is happy with me but when we spend several nights apart, I feel like he is likely satisfied with our relationship and I feel secure and safe.

My thoughts so far are that since we communicate via text message when we are apart, I don't have to try and decode his facial expressions or see him giggle at the things I don't understand on TV shows, etc..

Anyone have other thoughts about why this could be? Has anyone else noticed this in themselves?



nick007
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29 Feb 2012, 10:32 pm

Perhaps it's due to anxiety & getting overwhelmed by being close to someone. Lots of Aspies need a break from people to recharge & not getting the break can cause some to get anxious


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CrazyCatLord
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01 Mar 2012, 12:12 am

After a few nights apart, he probably appreciates you more and doesn't take you for granted. You sense this and feel more secure and valued as a result.



Wolfheart
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01 Mar 2012, 4:56 am

CrazyCatLord wrote:
After a few nights apart, he probably appreciates you more and doesn't take you for granted. You sense this and feel more secure and valued as a result.


I agree, sometimes being apart makes you more grateful of the time you spend together and that can reflect in the outlook of the relationship itself.



ghostar
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01 Mar 2012, 8:12 am

Thanks you guys for taking time to give me feedback! I am thinking that both theories presented above may be partially correct.



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04 Mar 2012, 12:19 pm

For me it's partly because I just need alone time to recharge myself. Too much togetherness, without any significant breaks, eventually makes me edgy and irritable. Edgy and irritable = less pleasant to be around, so naturally, he's not going to enjoy being with me as much when I'm like that.

That's part of it. I'm not totally sure what his side of the story is. Don't know whether he actually craves time alone, or not, but he definitely doesn't mind it.