So my mom asked me when am I going to get a girlfriend...

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A few weeks ago just after dinner my mom just asked when are you going to get a girlfriend? I just kind of stared blankly at her. Of course I like girls. I have really liked 2 girls before (can't sleep, all I can think about, etc.) but I don't tell her anything so she doesn't know that. My brother is 2 years younger than me and has had a girlfriend or 2 and talks about that kinda stuff and gossip to my mom a lot. I just have no idea how I would go about getting a girlfriend.

The next day me and my mom went to my psychiatrist for ADD and they thought of that I should probably be tested for asperger's (I wasn't shocked, I thought I might have aspergers about a year ago)

Your mom isn't overprotective now, is she? Girlfriends beware...

She is fairly protective in a way. I don't have all that many friends, one from my home town. So everytime I ask if I can go over to his house she immediatly says yes. I am in college over an hour away. I don't think the girlfriends beware is a concern since I dont know how to get one...

My dad does something like that, only he instead makes mocking comments on it, saying stuff that suggests I'll never have a date, or crude ones that mention porn, questioning my sexual orientation, and stuff I won't post here; and he seems to be wanting to make me active on the dating scene, even though he doesn't really push me like he does on so much other stuff, and really knows nothing on what's going on in my life, and... I am not sure if this relates, but I feel some sort of connection between the two situations.

Yeah my mom wasn't trying to be mean. She hadn't considered yet that I could have asperger's and was probably just kind of confused about how polar opposite me and my brother are.

I just don't tell my mom anything cause if I get in trouble in some way (i dunno, forget to tell her I will be home late, not cleaning my room or something) that they will hold it against me

My parents rarely ask me about girlfriends. I have never shown any sign of being interested in girls. As far as they know, I am asexual, although I tell them I am just not interested yet.

Of course, I am very interested in getting a girlfriend, but I do not want them knowing I am not capable of it. For that reason, I prefer to be seen as "probably asexual", because that is much better than "non-practicing heterosexual".

My family rarely ask me about it. As I am now 29, they'll probably be wondering if I'm asexual or homosexual by now (never had a girlfriend, but it's not because I don't want one).

I thought "beware" as well. My dude's mom from hell did the same thing. Then she split us up. Just know what you are doing when you get one, because we are people not things. As far as getting one....everyone here seems to have that question and I dont know how to answer it. When I see someone I want I just go get them. Well, I let them get me. It's all eyes and hair touches and smiles then you move closer together. Confidently.

Yeah, I don't think there is much of an issue with that. I am not the most comfortable with touch if you were implying something along those lines.

If i like a girl though then usually i can't speak or something

Welcome to the club.

My mother keeps asking me when I'm going to get a girlfriend "because she wants to have grandchildren". My usual answer is "yeah, right, all I have to do is walk upon a tree, shake it so a lot fall from it, and then pick the one I like best, right?".

Honestly, another factor that keeps me from getting a girlfriend (aside from the usual: worrying about not being able to offer a good life to a family, and being afraid to ask a girl out, waiting instead for her to make the first move - and even then, I may not have realized when one actually made a move) is that my mother is still around and she always criticizes my choices on *anything*... and she'd probably drive away any girlfriend I got, intentionally or not. And even if I find one that doesn't go away, I still don't want my mother constantly criticizing her, and our children, and how we raise them...

Welcome to the club. I get the same questioning from my extended family. Most of my immediate and extended family think I am gay. Meh, WTFever.

My mom stopped asking about a gf/marriage/grandkids by the time I was 35. She's kind of sad that I am unlikely to reproduce, but she'll live.

Some of the things I've done to get her to stop asking was ranting about
a) the local dating pool (it's awful)
b) protecting assets (I'm not rich, but upper middle class for the area)
c) not interested in women with children and most under 30 have them in my area
d) and describe other legal activities I've participated in.

Apparent asexuality makes the straight person appear not to be a loser.

I don't think I show how I feel and I get mixed up in distractions which may give negative signals that aren't about the woman I'm with. I got a hint that I don't smile enough and that maybe I don't pay enough attention to the woman on a date, but I don't expect or want to be the center of attention, either. Also, I need to be alone before I can evaluate how I feel after meeting someone.

Recently I went to the movies with a dating candidate. I liked her new perfume, but I could smell nothing but ashes and smoke after a third person in the car lit a cigarette. I was told to say something nice about her appearance. I didn't say anything because I was distracted by the cigarette smell and I couldn't think of a good time to say something without it sounding fake, which would have been worse than saying nothing. Also I was still a bit angry about being told that she stepped in dog crap earlier that day. That sort of thing makes me angry even if it's not happening to me directly.

The dating candidate doesn't smoke, and I think that's smart, and I respect smart people. Being smart is a choice. Anyone can choose to be smart by making good decisions. She does this head rocking thing while she drives, so we may have something else in common although I don't do that specific thing. She has a kid who is smart and would probably get along well with me, and he likes my sister, but I don't feel quite ready to meet him yet.

She owns a horse, some dogs and a macaw and maybe a few other animals. I don't foresee wanting to take on extra work that is a part of sharing ownership of a lot of animals and I have no interest in owning any other animals besides my bird. I have had my share of experience with visiting people who have a lot of animals, and I don't really like it, and sometimes it actually makes me feel sick. When I came back to my apartment after visiting someone else, I was relieved to return to a relatively clean and quiet environment with no bad smells, no dog hair, no piles or puddles of things to step in, no screaming macaws, no massive quantities of dust or smoke to choke on, etc. My lifestyle may not be compatible with owning many animals, just as it isn't compatible with smoking.

My mum did the same thing, just come up with a smart-ass reply. I usually said something like "Gee, I dunno, I'll just have to choose one of the many girls queuing up to go out with me."

My grandparents once asked me, point blank, "When are you going to give us some grandchildren?" I was all of 24 and highly educated and nowhere near thinking about a family. I was so taken aback that I just looked at them and said, "Well, I practice a lot."

Fortunately for me, they both chuckled.

MV - do you always think that fast on your feet? BRAVO!

I'm the weirdest aspie ever, I have a great sense of humor and I get nuance (in humor). Plus, it's essential to have a quick sense of humor in my family. Like, vital. Otherwise you get left out of conversations!

Nevertheless, I was pretty proud of that moment. So proud, I've remembered it these 20 years since then!