what tips for living together?

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what tips and advice do you have for making living together work and go well?

I always struggle living with people as Im a lot of a control freak and dont like my routine interupted, or things moved or change at all. Im not good at communicating and tend to withdraw into myself. Im also grumpy if over whelmed or not alone enough.

with that in mind what are good ways to compensate those draw backs as I cant change, so can only compensate or smooth off rough edges.

first i think it's important to tell people what to expect with you.
then just do nice things like maybe cook dinner for everyone or even something as simple as asking people if they want a drink when you're making one.
It's nice to be nice.

HI!
I think firstly it is important to tell the other personyou don't like things moved, I make sure my 2 roomates know they have to tell me when they move something because of a visual impairment but it also helps my Autism too!
I think being honest is a good policy, letting people know what to expect from you and what you expect of them. Living communally with others that aren't your family is usually a great experience!
A few house rules that I have is:
- not to have the music too loud in the house or car if I am in it
- not to have a radio and the tv playing at the same time (or even someone listening to an MP3 player too loud in the same room as the TV) it's sensory overload for me and I'll actually be physically ill
- I have my own plate I use that is different from the house dishes, part of this is because the house plates are stoneware and they are very heavy for me, part of it is because I don't like certain foods or my foods touching
- I ALWAYS serve myself, even if it is a sitdown meal, because I don't like wasting food and only I seem to be able to get the amounts right. I eat very little in one sitting as I don't like the physical feeling of being full.
- I will cook for the house, I will cook every night since I'm home during the day, I will cook things I don't like but I won't eat them, I'll make something different for myself.
- don't offer me anything squishy like applesauce or youghurt or I WILL throw up on you, don't eat youghurt in the same room as me because the smell makes me sick
- don't wear too much perfume
- remind me if I forget to pay rent! I forget, my housemate never reminds me so I just payed it today!

that's all I can think of at the moment!! my housemates are all great with my Autism and other disability/medical needs and I feel like I am an important and contributing member of the household. I hope your experience is just as good if not better!

You could educate them about Asperger's--that you need to talk in clear direct terms if there are any issues--that you can't be expected to "know" what to do based on non-verbal clues.

http://specialchildren.about.com/od/boo ... haveAS.htm
This picture book--All Cats have Asperger Syndrome--may be a quick way of explaining it.

One thing that I have found that works well is to have a space that is just for you. I have a workshop that is my space. Every night I spend a little time there and it helps relax me and makes me easier to live with. My wife has always been very easy going about my quirks, but I was worried when we had our son I would not share my space and time well. Having that space makes it much easier. Hope it helps.

Separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms.

Share the kitchen and living room.

Have a plan on who buys food and when, and how is it shared, if at all. Also a cleaning plan for common areas. Alternate weeks or whatever.

Have no landline and just use cells. Share other utilities equally.

Have a plan for visitors and let the roommates know when you are expecting visitors.

Talk about the noise. Pasisve-agressive approach to the problem will not work for anyone.

Anything else will inevitably lead to conflict and frustration.

This post brought to you by living about 4-5 months with roommates when I was 20.

Can I just say, I admire how you two can sometimes anger each other yet still stay together

Oh no no no applies to a lover too.

Even married couples have switched to separate bedrooms. Look it is all the rage:

http://www.google.com/search?q=married+ ... e+bedrooms

Your own bedroom gives you the space you need.

Separate bathrooms are a no brainer.

Basically eliminate the root causes of all domestic arguments. A couple has plenty to argue about. You don't really want to bring a dishwasher or snoring or a dirty bathtub into it.