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I know who I love now, but im worried.

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transformingcar
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05 Feb 2012, 11:42 am

so, I just last night I got a text form my friend in florida. She almost chose to not be friends anymore. I know I didnt help with that when I asked her about another person who I thought was her friend. but as it turns out I was wrong. anyway, after a long and emotional conversation, I think she actually admited that she loves me. but the one little problem is that she lives so far away, I live in pennsyvania.

At this point I think she has to make a decision. either she stays in florida where she has some friends but her current boyfriend's family is mean to her. or she could come back to PA, where my family likes her, and where she will be treated well.

I mean, i'd love to move to florida to be with her. I just don't have the neccessary funds for such a trip.
not to mention im on probation for 4 years. but that last part is irrelevnt.

Im sure it would work out for us, if only we weren't so far away. but I think that might change. meaning sooner or later, if im lucky one of us could move to where the other lives.

does this sound like its for real? I really think it is. I can explain more if neccesary.



OneStepBeyond
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05 Feb 2012, 11:47 am

current boyfriend? wtf is wrong with everybody



transformingcar
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05 Feb 2012, 11:49 am

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current boyfriend? wtf is wrong with everybody


what do you mean? are you saying theres something wrong with my friend?



OneStepBeyond
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05 Feb 2012, 11:50 am

er yeah, why does she have a boyfriend when she's in love with you. she should sort it out



transformingcar
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05 Feb 2012, 11:53 am

Quote:
er yeah, why does she have a boyfriend when she's in love with you. she should sort it out


I think its beucase she's so far away. so she just took him thinking we would never be togther. but yeah, she needs to sort that out.



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Feb 2012, 11:55 am

Il y a quelque chose qui cloche ici.



transformingcar
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05 Feb 2012, 12:05 pm

Quote:
Il y a quelque chose qui cloche ici


What for language is that?



Tequila
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05 Feb 2012, 12:06 pm

transformingcar wrote:
What for language is that?


It's French. It means "something's not right".



OneStepBeyond
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05 Feb 2012, 12:07 pm

transformingcar wrote:
Quote:
er yeah, why does she have a boyfriend when she's in love with you. she should sort it out


I think its beucase she's so far away. so she just took him thinking we would never be togther. but yeah, she needs to sort that out.


well who does she think she is. tell her to either get the balls to be single, try to make it work with you or give this other guy a proper shot without emotionally cheating to get her daily dose of validation and drama from safely unobtainable people



Tequila
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05 Feb 2012, 12:10 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
tell her to either get the balls to be single


I didn't think women had them.

(Yes, I know I'm a twat. :P)



transformingcar
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05 Feb 2012, 12:12 pm

Quote:
well who does she think she is. tell her to either get the balls to be single, try to make it work with you or give this other guy a proper shot without emotionally cheating to get her daily dose of validation and drama from safely unobtainable people


oh, how am I "unobtianable"? I don't think she's cheating in any way. I think shes trying to figure out what she wants in life.

but you do raise an interesting concern. could it be that she's just useing me for that sort of thing? I'd really hope not. becuase I do have feelings for her, but if your right, I wouldn't know what to think of this.



hale_bopp
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06 Feb 2012, 7:24 am

OSB has a point. If what you say is true, she seems to have got a current boyfriend "for the sake of it".

b*****s be crazy.



Wolfheart
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06 Feb 2012, 7:39 am

Sounds like she is using you and putting you on the back burner in case it doesn't work out with this other guy, in other words, you are her safety net and back up plan. Nothing good can come of this, you need to disregard her and let it go, move on and find another girl.

I would say there is a way around this but to be honest, there isn't. Even if you do manage to convince her, you won't be her first option so she will never stay in your arms for long because you are second best and attempting to convince her will only push the dynamics of the relationship further into her hands, making you her desperate pawn that is willing to wait whilst she has sex with other guys.



hale_bopp
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06 Feb 2012, 7:44 am

I wouldn't invest in this girl.

If she loves you, she wouldn't still be in Florida "deciding" and in the mean time getting it on with someone else.

I think you're being played.



tronist
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06 Feb 2012, 8:26 am

Wolfheart wrote:
Sounds like she is using you and putting you on the back burner in case it doesn't work out with this other guy, in other words, you are her safety net and back up plan. Nothing good can come of this, you need to disregard her and let it go, move on and find another girl.

I would say there is a way around this but to be honest, there isn't. Even if you do manage to convince her, you won't be her first option so she will never stay in your arms for long because you are second best and attempting to convince her will only push the dynamics of the relationship further into her hands, making you her desperate pawn that is willing to wait whilst she has sex with other guys.
this.

if it were me, i'd ask her if she loves you. you said it sounded like she did, but you didnt actually say she said that. finding this bit out is the first step. second, if she does love you, then tell her to break up with her current boyfriend. if she does not do this, then you break contact with her because she is just using you, and you are wasting your time. lastly, dont invest a bunch in the POTENTIAL of a LONG DISTANCE relationship. think logically about this: does she really love you enough, and is confident enough to uproot her life to move for you?

long distance 'hopes' never work out. thats been my experience, anyways.