Um, This may sound a little bit creepy...

Post Reply New Topic

OK, so there is this girl, who I first met when I was a new student at Kindergarten (she started more earlier than I did at this particular school I talk of), and since then, she's been in every single class I am in, and almost wherever I am, she is always there. I will admit at this stage as years progressed between the 2nd Grade to the 4th grade, our relationship was increasingly strained as she often "bullied me", but then in the 6th Grade, it stopped completely and she started becoming nice to me. I do know from my younger brother that she often talks about how a lot of high school as*holes bully me and stuff like that. Even though we never talk a lot and I rarely even do talk to her, I remember that on a Valentines Day occasion in our school, I gave her a rose.

Even though I don't normally discuss my personal life on a habitual basis, Is it just me or does destiny have something in store for me and her?

I think you are putting too much emphasis on the "fate" thing. Very silly concept and you are setting yourself up for disaster. The whole serendipity thing is a perceptual bias where you are gonna end up placing more emotions on something that does not exist because you are overvaluing the connection.

Could you try to get to know this girl a bit better maybe? Otherwise, as Mego has written, you are putting too much onto her. Your connection with her at present is not very strong.

I agree that there is no such thing as fate, just coincidence, that said however, carpe diem man you make your own luck, that is what makes us human, we have a limited amount of control. Sometimes you just have to take a chance, just talk to her and see what happens, but I'm not as shy as I once was, I'm still pretty shy but I'm not paralyzed with fear like when I was a teenager, so barring that sort of issue, hopefully not, just go for it.

I usedto think the sameway as you did but like when I was 12-13, then I saw that life had no connections, no correlations,new stuff happened and life went on.

You are being too logical, which love is anything BUT!

I would say to the OP to go for it, maybe she was destined to be something important in your life regardless of what happens.

Hey, just want to ask this: What has she done recently to give you any signs of hope?
6th grade, compared to the age you probably are now...was a long time ago! Her being nice to you might have been her getting bored of bullying you or just maturing (ever so slightly). Maybe she had a childhood crush on you, too. But having had those, and people having had them for me, those are very short term.

When she was being nice she just matured to treat people better it had nothing personally to do with you.

Well, the coincidences or synchronicity made you feel for her, and your own feelings mean something to you. I'd say go with it, but don't overthink it. Don't like profess you undying love for her. Rather, try to get to know her more and hang out with her. Be cool though, and don't come off as needy or desperate.

One downside to this is she probably sees herself as a protector at this point, so that puts her in a kind of big sister role in relation to you, rather than a romantic potential. Just work on being confident and standing on your own feet. Don't be like a dick, but don't be a pushover either. Like if she teases you, don't be afraid to tease back. If someone pushes you into a locker, push back and tell them off. Don't let her do it for you. You gotta show that you're a dude with balls and that you can stand on your own feet.

Just don't overcompensate and be a douche bag though. That's what all bullies do. They're over-compensating, because they feel worthless, so they wanna bring others down to their level by making them feel worthless. If you feel like less of a person because of past instances of being bullied, don't. Bullies are pathetic, sad, immature people. What you gotta do is know you deserve happiness, cultivate it in yourself, and share it with others. I hope that helps bro. Good luck.

Oh, and if she has no interest for you when all is said and done, try to preserve the friendship, and keep building a strong foundation of confidence and contentment for yourself. Never quit working on that, because it'll only attract other girls and people in general you don't even know exist yet. Lift weights, read, play music, paint, meditate, play sports, whatever you want, and build your personal happiness from activities like that. It'll give you an outlet, and, perhaps, something interesting to talk about that you can build new relationships and such from.

I disagree. synchronicity is something you have to pay attention to. If you don't you'll be oblivious to it, and everything will just transpire in a random way.. You pretty much have to be aware of it for events to build up too. You might ignore one event and miss out on an opportunity for another synchronistic event to align with the previous, and another on top of it, and so on and so forth. Synchronicity, in a lot of ways, relates to the conscious observer and how they approach waking reality. I think prayer and magic is a way of generating or invoking this phenomenon, by prepping one's self to become attentive to synchronicity. Its not so much the names that are evoked or the mantras chanted though that cause events to align in a desired way. Rather, its what the ritual means to the individual and how it affects their expectations and awareness to surroundings.

I used to think the same way you do when I was 21, now I'm not so sure!

OP, though, don't dwell on "fate", just go for what you want and see what happens. If it's really meant to be, that means it'll work.