Do you prefer NT partner

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20 Jan 2012, 6:16 am

I was attracted to a NT guy
He seemed so confident and smart
everything which I am not

Would you prefer to marry a NT or a Aspie???

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Last edited by namaste on 20 Jan 2012, 12:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tim_Tex
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20 Jan 2012, 6:25 am

How do you come to the conclusion that Aspies are shy and dumb?

aspi-rant
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20 Jan 2012, 6:26 am

no. and no.

where does the "dumb" come from??

so let me correct it and try again:

Would you prefer to marry a NT or an Aspie???

no. and yes. :wink:

Teredia
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20 Jan 2012, 6:52 am

Aspies are NOT dumb. or are you refering to yourself?
Because that is a VERY DUMB thing to SAY!! !

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20 Jan 2012, 6:54 am

namaste wrote:

I was attracted to a NT guy
He seemed so confident and smart
everything which I am not

Would you prefer to marry a NT or a shy,dumb Aspie???

People on the spectrum tend to have an above average intelligence in academic matters or specialized interests. That is an extremely negative, ignorant and spiteful generalization to make, I think you are looking for negative attention and it is comments like that which create misunderstanding towards people on the spectrum.

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20 Jan 2012, 8:21 am

Wrong planet rules, no personal assaults on people, with that in mind, I'm going to slam my dumb head into a wall until I forget I ever read this post. (it's not entirely the dumb bit, there are other parts to this that make my will to live on this planet fade)

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mv
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20 Jan 2012, 8:49 am

Guys, benefit of the doubt. I suspect that English is not her first language. I'm going to assume she meant "dumb" in the old, not-politically-correct sense meaning "mute". {Think "deaf and dumb"}

Yes, I know AS men can speak, she might have meant that they are too shy to speak or have social difficulties making them appear mute more than not.

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20 Jan 2012, 8:54 am

mv wrote:

Good point. Let's wait for Namaste to elaborate on what she meant.

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spongy
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20 Jan 2012, 8:58 am

mv wrote:

You are trying to get wp members to be understanding of each other difficulties.
Whats next asking members to try to relate to other gender issues and stop the male vs female contests?. :lol:

In all seriousness now I want an understanding partner. I dont have much psychological criteria beyond whats normally expected(shouldnt be self- centred/sociopathic...) wether that person is a nt or an aspie doesnt matter to me.

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mv
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20 Jan 2012, 9:02 am

spongy wrote:

mv wrote:

You are trying to get wp members to be understanding of each other difficulties.
Whats next asking members to try to relate to other gender issues and stop the male vs female contests?.

In all seriousness now I want an understanding partner. I dont have much psychological criteria beyond whats normally expected(shouldnt be self- centred/sociopathic...) wether that person is a nt or an aspie doesnt matter to me.

My apologies. What on earth would we talk about! I'd put the forum people right out of business! :lol:

keira
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20 Jan 2012, 9:13 am

namaste wrote:

I was attracted to a NT guy
He seemed so confident and smart
everything which I am not

Would you prefer to marry a NT or a shy,dumb Aspie???

It depends on the person, really, but I don't think I could ever be with a very social person again. I've been blamed enough for not having friends or not partying and making someone's life boring.
So I guess my answer is: I'd rather be with a shy, original, intelligent and amazing aspie than with a very social NT.

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20 Jan 2012, 9:41 am

mv wrote:

I can understand what you're saying, maybe her comment wasn't intended to be malicious or offensive but it came across that way to me. Nonetheless, it doesn't make it any less of a generalization and dumb isn't exactly the best word to use. If it was a male generalizing females on the spectrum, how would you feel?

mv
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20 Jan 2012, 9:59 am

Wolfheart wrote:

mv wrote:

No, I agree that generalization in general is bad, I just (literally) pictured her looking in a Hindi-English dictionary and there being that very old word "dumb" for whatever Hindi word means "mute" or "reticent to speak".

We all have cognitive and experiential biases which come screaming through our chosen words. I was trying to inquire whether her word choice could instead just have been a bit poor based on a very limited knowledge of English.

I've given up on correcting (native English-speaking) people here with their ridiculous assumptions about women, spectrum or no, and how we supposedly all act one way with one set of motivations. It's rare for me to even venture into L&D because there's so much ignorance and vitriol here (and yes, I will generalize there).

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20 Jan 2012, 10:55 am

Looking at the post and the signature of the OP it seems likely to me that she was saying the 'shy, dumb' part was not only to do with inability to speak, i.e. lack of confidence etc. but was aimed more at herself than at aspies in general or a particular sex.

She was comparing herself to the NT male she liked. That's my interpretation anyway.

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20 Jan 2012, 11:35 am

What about a shy, dumb NT :?:

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namaste
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20 Jan 2012, 12:29 pm

ya i was talking about myself im kind of dumb

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