What do you think of me

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Honest answer hear guys. Do i stand a chance with a girl or not. Question to the ladies would you have dated me or would date me if you were single.

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I think you're cool. I'm a straight man. Especially if you also like baseball.

anybody else please answer

your smile looks very genuine.

I am not gay but I can predict that you wouldn't currently look much of an eye candy for most females (yes, our brains can know what the opposite sex generally find attractive, it's innate in humans and actually we can see and hear what they like all the time):

Lose weight, go to gym for a better shape, and a get a nicer haircut.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 29 Dec 2016, 5:11 am, edited 4 times in total.

don't get a toupee.

how do you mean get a nicer haircut. why should i change myself. i wouldnt want my gf if i get one doing that

It's not about looks or changing yourself. It's about communicating what you want to the opposite sex. Sometimes looks are a liability because our appearance sends the wrong message. Nice girls usually aren't intentionally superficial or shallow, but they end up that way probably because they associate certain behaviors with a certain look. And you can't blame them for that because this comes from experience.

You are lucky, actually, because being a big guy doesn't carry quite the stigma it does for women. I've had consistent negative experiences with larger women to the point I will almost go out of my way to avoid some of them. Don't misunderstand me--I give everyone an honest chance regardless of looks. But with very few exception, the BBW's I've come to know are some combination of lazy, insecure, and ill-tempered. Sure, I've met a few gems, some wonderful women who are none of those things. But they are in the vast minority in my experience. The closer you get to supermodel/Hollywood actress you get, the more predictably and consistently nice they get.

Accurately predicting behavior based on looks is hit or miss until you get to know a lot of people. You want to make sure that when people look at you before they spend time with you that they see the type of person you want them to see. Do you look like the type of person that is fun and would make a girl feel respected and safe? If your looks, gate, mannerisms, superficial as they are, don't communicate what you want, then they're a liability. People might see you as a threat when you're just a big cuddly teddy bear.

My wife and I befriended a special needs guy once. My wife is the kind of person who'll adopt anybody and bring them home. This guy had a hard time understanding my work obligations didn't allow me time for video games and other distractions, and he was getting his hands on my wife every chance he got. I honestly don't think he was a bad guy or meant anything malicious, but it came across as desperate and threatening. She begged me to do everything I could to make him go away.

I'm in a position of trust and authority, so people HAVE to put up with me whether they want to or not. My looks make people uncomfortable, and I'm well aware of that. My voice doesn't help, either. So the way I behave has to be above par, and I get held to higher expectations than most people. I say one offensive thing or behave slightly odd just once and I lose jobs and friends. You get used to it and turn those things into repetitive habits and it keeps you well out of the danger zone. But the looks thing is completely unfair since that's something we have little control over. Just do your best and remember that given time with people, character will always trump appearances.

Frequently, a person's character DOES trump a person's appearance.

ALWAYS.

It's not a matter of if but when. A winner who lacks looks and personality will still win late in the game. A winner who has either/both personality and looks has the killer combination that will get instant results.

Losers with good looks and personality will usually win in the short term, but when they finally DO lose and people see them for who they really are, it's typically only after they've left a long trail of destruction in their wake.

To clarify: Personality is how you present yourself to others by your behavior. Your psychological profile. It's just as superficial as any other physical appearance. Character is how you REALLY are. Given time, it's character that shines through and reveals winners and losers for who they really are. Would-be winners are often betrayed by looks and personality, but they are the most consistent when they are successful. Losers never fake it long enough to enjoy lasting success and are betrayed by character. Because they deceive so many people so fast, they usually bring people down with them. You do more good if your personality and appearance match your character. You win people to your side early on and consistently do more good over the long term.

But most people, including most men, wouldn't want just any girlfriend/boyfriend. Unless looks totally don't matter to you you'd rather choose a good looking girl than an ugly girl. There is a difference between getting a lover and then expecting them to change and deciding who might be a good potential partner depending on what impression they make.
I don't know how choosy you'd be. Maybe you'd date almost any girl who is willing to date you but a lot of people are more choosy than that. How much your appearance matters also depends on how you get to know someone. If you know someone well before you start pursuing a relationship with them they already know your personality and likely some of your interests and will have an idea if you might be compatible or not. If you try to date people who are practically strangers the first impression you make will be important because that's all these people will know about you.

You don't have to change yourself if you don't want to but appearance is a big part of what kind of first impression you make and it is one criterion people use to choose potential partners. It is definitely not impossible for you to get a girlfriend the way you look but improved looks improve your odds, (especially if you'd rather have a good looking girlfriend).
What you choose to do is completely up to you. You don't need to change anything about yourself - it's just a matter of what you want and what your priorities are - but it simply is a fact that your looks, among many other things, influence your chances in dating.

I'd say the first impression you make in these photos is that you are a friendly and laid-back guy but you don't looks particularly attractive or interesting. There will be some girls who might date you based on the first impression because friendliness is important but it's not a 'perfect' first impression.

I dunno. People will probably tell you to lose weight, but I've seen plenty of bigger guys get girlfriends.

Those guys probably aren't aspies.

There's a trade off in everything.

So how do i get attractive and interesting then. How do i change.

I JUST WANT A GIRLFRIEND. I want to hold a girls hand, kiss her, look after her and have her meet my family.

If you don't find me attractive and interesting what can i do to change that.

Well I can tell you one thing, I'm far from fat and I don't have a girlfriend, so don't think losing the weight is going to make girls come chasing after you. Though, it couldn't hurt to get in shape, for your own health if nothing else.

Oh, and before Boo starts I'm not short either.

Dear cricketman123,

Just my two pence (seeing as we're both in the UK)...

You have a pleasant smile and posture, but have you ever considered this one thing...?

Clothes.

I must admit that at social gatherings, wearing something... interesting, has in my experience made oneself instantly more approachable. In most cases, wearing a dinner jacket (well ironed and clean of course) with matching smart shoes. A matching hat is even better when everyone else is wearing such clothes

Sounds expensive? Well, I got my D.J. from a charity shop (and I've noticed that most stock at least one of a sort) for £20 complete with matching shirt and trousers included. Decent shoes (like brogues) can be purchased around for around £40.

Clothes you wear (including shoes) can give clues to one's perceived personality, so these do matter. Doesn't always have to be smart, just interesting and not plain. Themes range from formal/smart, to hawaiian; alternative; colourful; metal etc...

Hope that helps,
99.