My ex won't take a hint!

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Okay, back in November 2008, I met a fella. We dated for a bit and then we broke up because his ex slept with him. She still lives with him today, even though she's pregnant with another man's baby. I have a boyfriend now. I love him dearly but all of a sudden, two weeks ago this ex has come out of nowhere acting all friendly and offering me gifts and wanted to visit me "one on one" again. I don't want to be mean but my ex is starting to creep me out. I'm okay with being friends but him driving three hours just to visit me alone doesn't sound good. How can I tell him to back off while still maintaining our friendship. My bf doesn't like the idea of him visiting me either. What should I do? Am I overreacting? >.<

Let him come and hit him on the ballz.


Or just turn it a threesome with you and your bf.

If nice hasn't work, mean is the next option, in my opinion.
No need to jeopardize your current happiness now for someone who is ex for a good reason.

Neither man is bi so sadly it wouldn't work.

I already had to decline a valentine's gift from my ex. He hadn't bought it yet, but he asked me if I wanted a gift from him. It was awkward. "No, I already have a valentine, thank you." He texts me a lot too. He keeps telling me how beautiful I am and how bad he feels for hurting me before and blah blah blaaah.

1) Do you want to be friends with an ex who slept with someone else?

2) If you're using the proper definition of creepy, as in he's making you fearful/uneasy, then that should ring bells. Do you really want to be friends with someone obsessed with you?

Well, we went back to being friends and friends with benefits for a little bit after he broke up with the girl again. We have the same group of friends so we just kinda went back to being friends. I'm fine with him, so long as he doesn't hit on me, which he has been doing constantly lately. He even said that "it must be awkward for you to keep receiving these compliments when you have a boyfriend." I told him that it was and he stopped until the next day. D:

I think you may have to give up on the idea of friendship with him. He knows about your new man, which makes the way he is behaving not only inappropriate but outright disrespectful. If I were in your boyfriends shoes I'd not only be pissed at the ex, but would be questioning why you felt the need to be in contact with someone who refused to stop acting that way.

My bf isn't happy with him at all. He's not the jealous type either. My ex knows about my bf. He's even felt the need to tell me what he would do sexually with me if we were both single at the same time. Honestly, I don't contact him, he contacts me and I feel that it would be rude to ignore someone's messages. If he does it again, I'll need to set him straight. *sigh* Why can't he go back to ignoring my existence, he was so good at that before. He keeps saying he wants to make up for what he did to me by being "the best friend possible" but I feel he's doing the opposite. Most of the time he's just fine, it's just the excessive compliments and disregard for my current relationship that makes me upset and awkward. :/

So it's blatent to him that he's being disrespectful and very pushy. You should have nothing to do with guys who won't accept "No" for an answer. If he won't accept "No" now, what else won't he accept "No" to?

I think you need to outright cut him out, and if he visits again - don't answer the door. Don't answer the phone, or withheld numbers. No contact at all, on any communication device.

First off, it's pretty natural to feel a bit scared after receiving contact from an ex. That being said, there's really no reason for him to be demanding you two meet up one on one. I would say ask him why he wants to do one on one. If he answers or dodges the question, suggest to him hanging out with a groups a friends (hopefully they'll keep an eye on him if things get weird). If he refuses to do that, then drop the hints and be direct with him, even if it means losing the friendship. Thing is, if he truly was your friend, he wouldn't insist on alone time (or shower you with lots of gifts to win you over, for that matter).

Yeah. Luckily he's a tiny fella. I have more mass than him so I can take him on if there was a physical confrontation. I don't think he would though. He was a rape victim in the past so he wouldn't force that on me. I don't think he knows he's being disrespectful. >.<

Well, he lives three hours away. I don't think he would just show up unannounced. Thank goodness.

It's not rude to ignore someone who is disrespecting you. People can disrespect you under the disguise of being "friendly".

Yeah, the way he's behaving is just not acceptable. And it's not rude to ignore someone who shows so little consideration for your feelings.

I know you want a friendship with him. And I'm sure you have reasons for that. After all, you dated him so he must have some redeeming qualities. But friendship is clearly not what he wants, and he seems unlikely to settle for it.

I would be okay with him meeting me at the university we went to and hanging with our friends (it's what we've done before) but it would be difficult to get back there since I don't have a car.

smudge - That's something I have a hard time understanding. That kind of passive aggressive behavior.

He does. He's a good friend, he just was a sh***y boyfriend. He's admitted that he doesn't have a lot of options as women don't seem to like him as he's a bit weird.

I thought he drove 3 hours to see you?



He does know he's being disrespectful - what spells it out more than that?