What's the worst that can happen?

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I grew up in a place where talking to the wrong girl could get you shot.

Yes, I knew people who met that fate.

Two years ago a close friend got murdered at a party. Though it was because he was trying to rescure a friend from being beaten half to death. Shot three times, died en route.

When I try to approach a female stranger at a bar, the thing that keeps me from it (oftentimes) is:

1. She's standing near two male friends. I don't feel like spending the night in jail.

2. She's going to go ape-sh*t on me, slap me, throw her drink in my face, and get some random guy to fight me. I'm a pretty good scrapper and I'll probably beat the dogsh*t out of him, but I don't want to spend the night in jail.

3. She's going to ask the bouncers to toss me out.

I do go to some pretty scuzzy venues around here, I should admit.

What kind of place can a nice PhD student like me meet nice girls? You know, that are in my... errrrrrrrm... cultural position, to use Pierre Bourdieu's term.

Uni?

Non scuzzy special interest clubs?

Wow, where do you live ?? Redneck City??

Ahem, try anyplace around a college or university campus. Coffee shops, bookstores, open lectures on campus, you know where a professor from out of town will be speaking about their research, the campus library, just go and read a book, and meet girls.

Also, what do you look like?? You might want to neaten yer appearance.

(Gimme three steps, gimme three steps towards the door ...)

I just remembered, if you want girls to talk to you, you have to have something that will start a conversation. Like walking a dog, the girl will say 'oh, what a cute doggy.' Or some artcle of clothing, a hat that's out of the ordinary, if you live in the South, maybe the Stars and Bars. But the point is to have something that a girl would respond to.

Try the library.... or the grocery store...a girl's gotta eat.

Well, for a start, you could all stop referring to grown women as "girls."

Get it, boy?

Then work on the rest of the condescending stereotypes and you might attract a woman with a functioning brain cell. If that's what you actually want, which isn't apparent.

Sorry to interrupt the male bonding.

Is 'Gurls' OK????

What's wrong with "women"?

'Sup to you "boyz." Depends on what your motives are. You want a relationship with an intelligent, mature, adult human being who happens to be female, or you want something else?

I was assuming the first, and since I am one, I pointed out a couple of turnoffs that might be getting in the way by reacting to them. And they ARE turnoffs.

Do with it what you will.

Try lightening up a little bit. Trust me, it'll help.

Library: "Hey there, come here often?" "Yeah, to study!"

And the concept of approaching gir*COUGH*women at the grocery store... I don't know... I'm at a loss, there. Why does everyone always make those suggestions? I can't wrap my brain around it at all.

At least when you go to a bar or something, there's the pretense floating around that guys are gonna approach women.

I live in Las Vegas, NV. In the downer'n'dirtier half of town... the EastSIIIIIIIIDE!! !!

Well, not as bad as Northtown, or Northwest/Naked City, but yeah....

College-related mixers, I could see... though I'm a 28 year old PhD student... can't exactly get away with chasing 19 year old skirts here... so it'd have to be kind of... errrrrm... specialized.

I always feel cheesy if I go to an event soley to meet women. It seems disengenous. If anyone asked "so what brought you here?" I'd say "I came to meet women" because anything else would be a lie. And I don't lie if I don't have to (i.e. life-or-death tactical situation).