Should I disclose my diagnosis?

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Should I disclose my autism diagnosis to people I am dating? I don't really agree with my diagnosis, so I don't like telling people about it.

I voted "when it gets serious."

First date? lol good thing you're here asking questions on this forum.. that would not exactly be a socially acceptable time to disclose something like that.. mainly in the sense of the date accepting you. Starting off with "hi, my name is ___ and I have AS," is a sure fire way to have someone think you're weird and not likely want to see you again.

Much better just to be yourself and let them get to know you w/o the judgement clouding paradigm of a label. Then if things get serious, maybe it's time to bring it up so they're in the loop vs. wondering about your quirks. If they care about you, then once they know and learn a bit about AS they'll be more understanding of your nature vs. get annoyed by it.

I think transparency & honesty is best in a long term relationship where you truly get to know each other intimately, so I wouldn't agree with "never," as an option even though it might suit some people just fine. I'd feel like that omission, knowing my diagnosis, would be kind of deceptive. But I can see why some may choose to conceal it always, and they can if they like - I would never disclose their secret if I knew it, or speak ill of them for it. To each their own.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Likely, you would not really need to talk about it until after you've had sex. There's no reason to bring it up. It just shows you're embarrassed about it. It helps in the long term to go over certain behavioral things she might not understand, but don't beat yourself up about it.

I voted for when it gets serious, but I'd actually disclose when it becomes relevant. Something like, yes I'll go to the party, but let me explain in advance that I may need to step away from the crowd for a while or even leave early, and here's why.

But wouldn't it be pretty relevant on the first date? I know for me that would probably be one of the worst moments of "autism" they'll see for a while if we continue seeing each other.


I wouldn't want to be with someone who thinks they can form an opinion about "the real me" by hearing about some labels anyway. And I've long given up the hope of being "the one that will open their eyes by showing what a wonderful person I am before telling them about my autism, so that from then on they will never judge people on their labels again".

I'd hate to think that "hiding a part of you till they like "the rest" well enough so you can then "guilt trip" them into accepting what you've been hiding" is the right way to go.
"Yeah I know I've been looking like a really fun outgoing guy, but honestly I've been overdoing myself and that's why I've been looking so depressed for the last week. I can't handle it any more, my school/work is suffering from having to destress myself several times a week, so let me now please explain to you why the "real me" will actually stay home 90% of the times you ask me to go out.".

Honesty and openness from the start is the way to go. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and at least you don't have to think about whether your "fake persona" wasn't good enough and needs work, and you can focus completely on -you-.

I agree that people shouldn't put on a facade and act like a different person. I do consider it worth understanding the psychology of first impressions. People average all the things they know, at first, so you will have a better chance to really get acquainted with a potential partner if you put your best foot forward for a while.

I don't think that a specific time frame applies in every case, just make sure that you only invest an appropriate level of emotional energy into a new relationship.

I usually disclose a few dates in as I tend to look for the ability to have deep conversations as one of my prerequesits, it will often come up casually as part of the conversation.

For the first few dates I usually use the code words "socially awkward", "geeky", "bad with signals", or "shy around new people." It takes a lot of pressure off of both parties as they don't go in expecting some uberconfident casanova and also don't feel like they need to work too hard to impress me.

TIP: Tell a girl on or before a first date "I should warn you I'm quite awkward and shy around new people" and do it with a smile and/or humor. About 90% of the time the girl will say something like "don't worry, I'm awkward too." Seriously, it's like magic.