How do I ask for this woman's address without seeming eager?

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Alienboy
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07 Mar 2012, 6:52 am

I met this beautiful Japanese woman on plenty of fish earlier tonight and we got to chatting for a little while. She told me that I am very handsome and I told her that I think she is very beautiful and cute. She is 31 years old and has been living in LA for about 5 years now so her English is really good. Anyway, after chatting with her for a while I asked her if we could exchange numbers and she said maybe next time. Then I asked if email was alright instead and she said that was alright. Really wanting to actually hear her voice and talk to her, I asked to exchange numbers a little more confidently and she said ok. I gave her my number (via chat) and she called me. I talked about possibly meeting up with her later this week and she said alright. Then she said I could text her anytime. I told her it was very nice meeting her and wished her a goodnight. I know it seems strange that I am even asking this question as things went pretty well so far. I just sometimes don't know how to ask for a women's address without coming off as desperate, over-eager, too direct, creepy, etc. Her car is in the shop for a while, so I would need to either pick her up at her place or hangout with her at her place. She did say alright when I asked her about meeting up later this week and possibly even tomorrow, so I am mainly asking for suggestions from the women on here about how I should ask her for her address? Like how should I word it? I would assume I would just casually ask in calm manner and she would give it to me, but sometimes even that has made women I met hesitant. It is really strange I know, but it has happened even with women who said I was really handsome. I am really attracted to this woman and I really don't want to mess anything up.


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anna-banana
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07 Mar 2012, 6:58 am

just don't. seriously.


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Alienboy
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07 Mar 2012, 7:02 am

anna-banana wrote:
just don't. seriously.


Ok...well why not? Women must give men their addresses sometimes. It's not like this never happens. I am interested in a possible relationship with this girl. Are you just saying I shouldn't because you think I'm trying to just use her for sex? Perhaps you think I am strange?


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nat4200
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07 Mar 2012, 7:03 am

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Last edited by nat4200 on 21 Apr 2012, 1:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

Alienboy
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07 Mar 2012, 7:23 am

nat4200 wrote:
No. Don't ask for her address. If she feels you need to know it for some purpose, and she feels comfortable giving it to you, then she will.

Just focus on dating/hanging out with her more.

NB: It seems like your thinking of it like step 1. get email, step 2. get phone number so thus step 3. should be get address, but it doesn't work that way. The focus is on dating and the acquisition of contact details is just to facilitate this ;)


OK, well I would need to ask her for her address to pick her up so that we could hangout at all. She doesn't have a means of transportation of her own now. She also said it was alright to possibly hangout tomorrow. She even said I was really handsome...why would she suddenly shut me down?


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07 Mar 2012, 7:34 am

Alienboy wrote:
anna-banana wrote:
just don't. seriously.


Ok...well why not? Women must give men their addresses sometimes. It's not like this never happens. I am interested in a possible relationship with this girl. Are you just saying I shouldn't because you think I'm trying to just use her for sex? Perhaps you think I am strange?


You shouldn't ask for anyones address online and for a number of safety reasons, no one, including you, should give their addresses to anyone online either. It's not about her thinking you are trying to use her for sex, but rather the fact that there can be predators online that can do more sinister things.

If you want to meet with this girl, you should rather arrange to meet her at a cafe for some coffee or lunch or something. Preferably, it needs to be somewhere public where there are lots of people. You'll get to know her a bit more and even find out where she lives later but until you've met in person, you're still essentially a stranger.



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07 Mar 2012, 7:37 am

Alienboy wrote:
nat4200 wrote:
No. Don't ask for her address. If she feels you need to know it for some purpose, and she feels comfortable giving it to you, then she will.

Just focus on dating/hanging out with her more.

NB: It seems like your thinking of it like step 1. get email, step 2. get phone number so thus step 3. should be get address, but it doesn't work that way. The focus is on dating and the acquisition of contact details is just to facilitate this ;)


OK, well I would need to ask her for her address to pick her up so that we could hangout at all. She doesn't have a means of transportation of her own now. She also said it was alright to possibly hangout tomorrow. She even said I was really handsome...why would she suddenly shut me down?


If she has no means of transportation, then rather than asking for her address, why not ask her if she has someone to drop her off at a pre-arranged meeting place?



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07 Mar 2012, 8:04 am

Jono wrote:
Alienboy wrote:
nat4200 wrote:
No. Don't ask for her address. If she feels you need to know it for some purpose, and she feels comfortable giving it to you, then she will.

Just focus on dating/hanging out with her more.

NB: It seems like your thinking of it like step 1. get email, step 2. get phone number so thus step 3. should be get address, but it doesn't work that way. The focus is on dating and the acquisition of contact details is just to facilitate this ;)


OK, well I would need to ask her for her address to pick her up so that we could hangout at all. She doesn't have a means of transportation of her own now. She also said it was alright to possibly hangout tomorrow. She even said I was really handsome...why would she suddenly shut me down?


If she has no means of transportation, then rather than asking for her address, why not ask her if she has someone to drop her off at a pre-arranged meeting place?


I can ask her if she can arrange that, but what if she says that isn't possible? Then call the whole date off because asking her for her address is auto-fail? She was really friendly on the phone and she seems interested in meeting me.


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Marcia
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07 Mar 2012, 8:28 am

No 1 tip/rule of Internet dating, and back in the day, newspaper lonely hearts ads - do not share your home address until you have met, and got to know and trust the person.

No 2 - always meet someone for at least the first time in a public place, not at your or their home.

You do not need to know where she lives.

You and she can agree a mutually convenient place to meet.



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07 Mar 2012, 8:29 am

Alienboy wrote:
anna-banana wrote:
just don't. seriously.


Ok...well why not? Women must give men their addresses sometimes. It's not like this never happens. I am interested in a possible relationship with this girl. Are you just saying I shouldn't because you think I'm trying to just use her for sex? Perhaps you think I am strange?


everyone has the right to have a place of safety. I'm not saying that you are a predator, but let's face it, there is absolutely nothing you need that address for - you keep saying that it's because you want to assist her with transportation, but she never asked you for assistance right? when she starts trusting you and feels safe with you, I'm sure she'll happily let you know where she lives. until then, do not ask her for her address. it's ultra-creepy.

I wish you good luck with this girl, but maybe try not to be so eager as it might scare her off.


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07 Mar 2012, 8:30 am

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Alienboy
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07 Mar 2012, 8:38 am

Ok well not to sound like some sort of manwhore, but I am sexually attracted to her. She said I was handsome and sexy too. I don't want to just have sex with her. I want a relationship...but I will be honest...I want to have sex with her too. She is really hot and is friendly too. She showed interest in me sexually as well. So...would asking for an address still be creepy in this situation?


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Janissy
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07 Mar 2012, 8:43 am

Alienboy wrote:
Ok well not to sound like some sort of manwhore, but I am sexually attracted to her. She said I was handsome and sexy too. I don't want to just have sex with her. I want a relationship...but I will be honest...I want to have sex with her too. She is really hot and is friendly too. She showed interest in me sexually as well. So...would asking for an address still be creepy in this situation?


Do not ask for her address. The best you can hope for after you ask that is that she says no. But she's more likely to simply cut off contact.



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07 Mar 2012, 8:50 am

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Kelspook
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07 Mar 2012, 8:50 am

Looks like it's still a very new relationship, so I would advise against asking for her address. You may scare her off. I'm not for one second suggesting that you're any sort of bad person, but folk are very wary of people they don't know well nowadays.

If she wants to meet up, as other folks have said, ask her whether she wants to meet up somewhere, or for you to pick her up. If she accepts the offer of transport, then you simply ask where she would like you to pick her up.


Good luck!



Alienboy
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07 Mar 2012, 8:51 am

Janissy wrote:
Alienboy wrote:
Ok well not to sound like some sort of manwhore, but I am sexually attracted to her. She said I was handsome and sexy too. I don't want to just have sex with her. I want a relationship...but I will be honest...I want to have sex with her too. She is really hot and is friendly too. She showed interest in me sexually as well. So...would asking for an address still be creepy in this situation?


Do not ask for her address. The best you can hope for after you ask that is that she says no. But she's more likely to simply cut off contact.


Really? Because the last woman I met on plenty of fish...gave me her address after I asked her for it. If the woman wants to have sex with me...she would still possibly say no or cut contact?


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