Where to meet girls/the first move

Post Reply New Topic

What's up y'all..
Ok I haven't logged onto this site in a while so I guess I should start by saying i'm Kevin a 19 year old high functioning aspie (although lately I have started to question this more and more.. I led a very sheltered childhood and have really started to come into my own).. Anyways I've never been too lucky with girls, although I do have some girls that are friends.. Something about that initial introduction seems so awkward to me unless I can meet a girl through a friend. Otherwise I really don't have trouble talking to girls, most think I'm funny and whatnot. But I'm in a situation where I'm kinda new to town and am not really sure where I should go to meet females and what to say to start talking to them.


P.s. (question for girls) would it be weird for a random dude to just come up and introduce themselves/say hi in a public setting??

Read this read, it has many good contributions.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt193178.html

Not at all, I don't think it's weird as long as you come across as friendly and warm. You could say something like "I know this is random but I thought I'd ask you this", that shows you have some social intelligence and they will generally be receptive if they like you. Get out and start talking to people, talk to the girl in the book store, the person at the bus stop, the old person on a bench, the busker, even if nothing positive comes out of the interaction, you will be practising your social skills and overcoming your social anxiety.

Look at it as a win/win situation, don't look at interactions as a success or a failure. You have got nothing to lose and something to gain, even if you get rejected, you will still gain something from the experience.

The current episode of AutisticTV seems to cover some of this query according to the description...might be worth a watch...I'm gonna have a look after work out of curiosity...it made me remember my awkward teens when I thought that staring intently at the person would convey interest...I shudder from creepiness just thinking about it now...don't stare...be natural...be yourself...and look for opportunities to interact with the person in a friendly manner and learn more about them...and give them the opportunity to learn a little about you...being wholly and strongly attracted to a person and feeling compelled to express interest based only on appearance or from observing them in a one-sided fashion is not natural or healthy...unless you identify the feeling as lust and cap it...lest ye fall in a pit of irrational jealousy over others interacting with her when she doesn't know anything about you...that is just creepy...friendly [i]then[\i] flirty...unless you are clubbing which is something different...but the stare is not a good thing...ever...

All of the above is a personal opinion of course...take what you can from it...and take it real easy at your age...all skills are developed with time and application

Thanks for the tip. Keep em coming lol

It depends on the setting.
And it depends on the comfort level of the person being approached and the social literacy of the person approaching.

If it's a place people go to meet people go ahead. (ex. bar, club, bowling alley, social places)

If it's a place people go because they have to (ex. the subway) or to run an errand (ex. grocery store) I'd recommend you err on the side of respecting personal boundaries.

If you have a hard time maintaining "normal" body language, eye contact, and conversation you have a higher chance of inadvertently creeping somebody out.