Cheating

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On the one hand when I hear the word "cheating" it sounds like something quite marginal, like cheating on the test. Since most people don't cheat on the test, most people don't cheat on their partners either. On the other hand, I have heard from some channels that actually cheating is quite common and, in fact, it is quite possible that ''most'' people cheat. So I wanted to make a poll to see how common it is.

Just like on a test or in a game, it's only "cheating" in a relationship if it's against the rules of that relationship. I have never been able to fathom the idea of living with a lie about that kind of thing to someone I'm intimately involved with, so I've never cheated. I've always been honest about it (open relationship) or broken up with them.

Never cheated.

It's not to my credit, but I'm a mate for life, one woman kind of guy. It's not a choice; I would be repulsed to have some other woman touch me, ick!

define cheating

By cheating I mean being in a committed relationship when it is assumed that the partner you are with is your only partner, yet you date someone else behind their back.

Open relationship is NOT cheating since in this case dating other people is part of the "rules". In order to cheat you basically have to lie to your partner that they are the only one you are seeing when in fact this is not true.

I realize that sometimes people don't explicitly state everything but here is a rule of thumb. If YOU are deliberately "not telling" something to your partner because you are afraid that they would be mad if you did AND whatever you are "not telling them" involves the other person of opposite gender, that is cheating. Now, granted, perhaps you are wrong and in fact they wouldn't mind it at all that you are seeing someone. But still you didn't know it; so on your end of a line it is cheating. On the other hand if you naively assumed it was okay with them and it wasn't, then thats not cheating thats misunderstanding. The rule of thumb that identifies "misunderstanding" is that you were open about the other person and then were surprised you got your partner mad.

Careful here--this definition needs to include LGBT relationships as well! Otherwise, I am satisfied with it.

I have cheated and been cheated on do I regret cheating no I do not have any regrets

Not that I've really ever had the chance to, but I think that if I ever wanted to cheat, I'd have more a reason to just end the relationship anyway.

Then again I guess it depends on how you'd define cheating. Could be strictly physical or sexual, but others have described it as also being on an emotional level.

I would include the ''emotional level'' as part of the definition of cheating. I guess simply ''liking" somoene without doing anything about it won't be cheating, but if you actually go on a date with them then that would be cheating (that is true as long as the date is romantic, regardless of whether or not you actually have sex). A gray area would be when you start talking to them more BECAUSE you like them, but you don't actually go on a date. In this case the rule of thumb is: are you willing to be open to your partner about it? If the answer is yes, then its not cheating, if the answer is no, then it is.

I was making a joke about Bill Clinton, define....

When I'm in a relationship I am completely obsessed with my partner & cant imagine wanting to do anything with anyone else but her. I am also extremely concerned with her feelings & trust so naturally my cheat % is & will always be a big fat zero

This is something that can vary depending on who you ask.
My ex wife thinks I cheated, and I think that I did not cheat.

I have never cheated. I've been cheated on, it devastated me. I couldn't do that to someone, no matter how tempted I might be by the new person.

I have, however, been the person that someone cheated with. There was quite a thrill to it at the time, but I regret it now. By far my worst lapse in morals.

I'm the opposite of this, when a girl gets clingy, I tend to back away because I like having my space and I would become frustrated. I prefer a relationship with space and realistically it is healthier.

I'm somewhat damaged in the sense I don't like someone getting close and I don't like trusting others so it takes time for me to do so, I don't really mind taking a relationship slowly with the right person. I guess you wear your heart on your sleeve, Nick and that can be a dangerous thing.

I'm kind of damaged too in a way because I keep everyone at a distance except my partner. I think it's different with a partner because I have an extremely high desire to be close with one person & can only let one person in after trust has been established.