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I think I am falling for one of my social workers

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Frieslander
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22 Aug 2011, 4:00 pm

I hate this. I feel great chemistry when I am around her. But, she is married and has two kids (one of them Autistic). She is so darned nice! And, today she asked me my birthday. So strange. I've never had a social worker ask that of me.



Grisha
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22 Aug 2011, 5:02 pm

My advice from bitter experience is to not encourage these feelings, especially by reading things in to what she said that were probably not intended.

It is a really bad idea to needlessly undermine your support network.



Frieslander
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22 Aug 2011, 5:11 pm

Why did she ask my birthday? No one usually asks my birthday unless they want to do an astrological chart or want to get to know me.

Anyway, it's kind of a bad/strange day in other ways. Nuvigil again. I thought I could handle it today.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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22 Aug 2011, 5:14 pm

Maybe she's into astrology or just wanted to know so she could wish you a happy birthday when the time rolled around?


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22 Aug 2011, 5:16 pm

Frieslander wrote:
Why did she ask my birthday? No one usually asks my birthday unless they want to do an astrological chart or want to get to know me.


Sometimes it's just a thing to talk about.

Quote:
Anyway, it's kind of a bad/strange day in other ways. Nuvigil again. I thought I could handle it today.


Bummer :? Feel better.


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Chronos
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22 Aug 2011, 11:12 pm

Frieslander wrote:
I hate this. I feel great chemistry when I am around her. But, she is married and has two kids (one of them Autistic). She is so darned nice! And, today she asked me my birthday. So strange. I've never had a social worker ask that of me.


Could it be that you just like her because she is nice and make you feel good? That's kind of her job. I think a lot of guys confuse this feeling with love or a crush but it's neither, it's just a woman being nice to them.



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22 Aug 2011, 11:31 pm

Having a child who is autistic, she is probably being more compassionate and respectful.



Frieslander
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23 Aug 2011, 12:01 am

Chronos wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
I hate this. I feel great chemistry when I am around her. But, she is married and has two kids (one of them Autistic). She is so darned nice! And, today she asked me my birthday. So strange. I've never had a social worker ask that of me.


Could it be that you just like her because she is nice and make you feel good? That's kind of her job. I think a lot of guys confuse this feeling with love or a crush but it's neither, it's just a woman being nice to them.


I know a lot of people I think of as "nice". However, she has the special something that can't put into words.



spongy
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23 Aug 2011, 12:18 am

Frieslander wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
I hate this. I feel great chemistry when I am around her. But, she is married and has two kids (one of them Autistic). She is so darned nice! And, today she asked me my birthday. So strange. I've never had a social worker ask that of me.


Could it be that you just like her because she is nice and make you feel good? That's kind of her job. I think a lot of guys confuse this feeling with love or a crush but it's neither, it's just a woman being nice to them.


I know a lot of people I think of as "nice". However, she has the special something that can't put into words.

I´ll have to go with the previous posters advice if she is married and its her job to be nice to you then this chemistry is probably only existant from your point of view and she is just being nice same way she treats most of her cases.

As for the birthday thing, due to social networking sites showing my birthday Ive realized that most people that care enough to look at it are those that barely know me and are trying to know me better.


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AsteroidNap
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23 Aug 2011, 12:30 am

Frieslander wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
I hate this. I feel great chemistry when I am around her. But, she is married and has two kids (one of them Autistic). She is so darned nice! And, today she asked me my birthday. So strange. I've never had a social worker ask that of me.


Could it be that you just like her because she is nice and make you feel good? That's kind of her job. I think a lot of guys confuse this feeling with love or a crush but it's neither, it's just a woman being nice to them.


I know a lot of people I think of as "nice". However, she has the special something that can't put into words.


I will concur with what others have said above. But as a thought experiment, let's say you're right? Let's pretend she might have some feelings for you. Do you really want to be the guy that breaks up her marriage? That puts her kids through such turmoil? If her marriage is on the rocks, isn't best that she divorce because it's the right choice for her, not because she wants to hook up with some other dude?



Frieslander
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23 Aug 2011, 12:45 am

spongy wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
I hate this. I feel great chemistry when I am around her. But, she is married and has two kids (one of them Autistic). She is so darned nice! And, today she asked me my birthday. So strange. I've never had a social worker ask that of me.


Could it be that you just like her because she is nice and make you feel good? That's kind of her job. I think a lot of guys confuse this feeling with love or a crush but it's neither, it's just a woman being nice to them.


I know a lot of people I think of as "nice". However, she has the special something that can't put into words.

I´ll have to go with the previous posters advice if she is married and its her job to be nice to you then this chemistry is probably only existant from your point of view and she is just being nice same way she treats most of her cases.

As for the birthday thing, due to social networking sites showing my birthday Ive realized that most people that care enough to look at it are those that barely know me and are trying to know me better.


Oh, I know that she's married and supposed to be off-limits. I've had contact with a number of social workers over the years... I am a client of an ACT (Assertive Community Treatment) team, where I get to know everyone on a 7 - 8 member team. There have been some women who were very nice, some very physically attractive, some both.. .but I never ran across one like this.



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23 Aug 2011, 12:57 am

AsteroidNap wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
I hate this. I feel great chemistry when I am around her. But, she is married and has two kids (one of them Autistic). She is so darned nice! And, today she asked me my birthday. So strange. I've never had a social worker ask that of me.


Could it be that you just like her because she is nice and make you feel good? That's kind of her job. I think a lot of guys confuse this feeling with love or a crush but it's neither, it's just a woman being nice to them.


I know a lot of people I think of as "nice". However, she has the special something that can't put into words.


I will concur with what others have said above. But as a thought experiment, let's say you're right? Let's pretend she might have some feelings for you. Do you really want to be the guy that breaks up her marriage? That puts her kids through such turmoil? If her marriage is on the rocks, isn't best that she divorce because it's the right choice for her, not because she wants to hook up with some other dude?


I was trying to think of a way to say exactly this.


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Frieslander
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23 Aug 2011, 1:07 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
AsteroidNap wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
I hate this. I feel great chemistry when I am around her. But, she is married and has two kids (one of them Autistic). She is so darned nice! And, today she asked me my birthday. So strange. I've never had a social worker ask that of me.


Could it be that you just like her because she is nice and make you feel good? That's kind of her job. I think a lot of guys confuse this feeling with love or a crush but it's neither, it's just a woman being nice to them.


I know a lot of people I think of as "nice". However, she has the special something that can't put into words.


I will concur with what others have said above. But as a thought experiment, let's say you're right? Let's pretend she might have some feelings for you. Do you really want to be the guy that breaks up her marriage? That puts her kids through such turmoil? If her marriage is on the rocks, isn't best that she divorce because it's the right choice for her, not because she wants to hook up with some other dude?


I was trying to think of a way to say exactly this.


Oh, I'm not going to pursue it. If she does break up down the road, and there really seems to be something there, then I'll talk about it.

Darn it, why can't I find someone just like her?



TeaEarlGreyHot
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23 Aug 2011, 1:15 am

Frieslander wrote:


Darn it, why can't I find someone just like her?


I'm well acquainted with this sentiment. :(


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AsteroidNap
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23 Aug 2011, 1:16 am

Frieslander wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
AsteroidNap wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
I hate this. I feel great chemistry when I am around her. But, she is married and has two kids (one of them Autistic). She is so darned nice! And, today she asked me my birthday. So strange. I've never had a social worker ask that of me.


Could it be that you just like her because she is nice and make you feel good? That's kind of her job. I think a lot of guys confuse this feeling with love or a crush but it's neither, it's just a woman being nice to them.


I know a lot of people I think of as "nice". However, she has the special something that can't put into words.


I will concur with what others have said above. But as a thought experiment, let's say you're right? Let's pretend she might have some feelings for you. Do you really want to be the guy that breaks up her marriage? That puts her kids through such turmoil? If her marriage is on the rocks, isn't best that she divorce because it's the right choice for her, not because she wants to hook up with some other dude?


I was trying to think of a way to say exactly this.


Oh, I'm not going to pursue it. If she does break up down the road, and there really seems to be something there, then I'll talk about it.

Darn it, why can't I find someone just like her?


:hail: I know, seriously! I've had similar thoughts about women I've met. I think I've found my 'soulmate' three or four different times now, but she's always taken. hahaha.



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24 Aug 2011, 3:38 pm

Saw her again today. It's an ACT team, and I've really been struggling lately. She asked whether I want to go for a walk today. Hmmm.