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Dating several candidates, ok or sin?

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I think that you are....
an A**hole, Mr. Boo. 21%  21%  [ 8 ]
saying nothing wrong, Mr. Boo. 50%  50%  [ 19 ]
saying nothing wrong but you're a**hole either way, Mr. Boo. 29%  29%  [ 11 ]
Total votes : 38

The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Jan 2013, 6:47 pm

Inspired from another dating thread.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Brianruns10 wrote:
You're right....

God, I could cry. Why can't I find anyone? What is wrong with me? I want to hurt myself.


*Slapping on Brianruns10]s face**

man up, stop crying, it's not totally hopeless with that girl.

Also, try to date another one, and let them both KNOW. Believe me, if they feel that you're 'demanded' and may get 'stolen' by others any time, they would try to meet you more often to secure you.

That's a very as*hole thing to do. If I were the woman in that situation, I'd probably just dump you because you're a waste of my time. No self-respecting female is going to be attracted by that. At best, you're just going to get the most desperate women. I'm assuming you want a meaningful relationship, so having women compete for you is not the best strategy.


There's nothing wrong in dating several candidates while you didn't commit a relationship with anyone yet (becoming her bf), do not go moralist on me, Ms. idealist.

All the girls I've dated through dating site were dating other candidates, everyone does it; and I can bet that girls do it more often than guys!! (due to the imbalance of opportunities; when I was dating 2 girls at a time, the girls were seeing like 4-5-6, no girl told me a number less than 4) In fact, they've been always grateful for my honesty on that matter, and the funny thing they always admit that they're doing the same too.



So what say you?



Fnord
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05 Jan 2013, 6:52 pm

It isn't cheating unless you're married.

Go in peace, dawg!

:wink:



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Jan 2013, 6:58 pm

Two have assholed me so far, I am one of them. :lol:



EmoGlambertAspie
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05 Jan 2013, 6:59 pm

As long as the other person knows you aren't exclusive it isn't wrong. If you don't tell them completely that you're seeing several people that's as wrong as cheating because you're taking advantage of their not knowing and assuming they will be okay with it.


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Nascaireacht
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05 Jan 2013, 7:02 pm

Depends on where you're from. It seems to be the norm in the US. When I was a kid (in Ireland), it would have been a terrible thing to do. And if you did do it, you definitely couldn't have told someone what you were doing, there is no way you'd have been forgiven. I don't know if it's quite as rigid now, but I don't think it is the norm even now. You need to find out if it's ok in your area to do this.



Tequila
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05 Jan 2013, 7:02 pm

I voted for the third one, though really I would have voted for both 1 and 3. ;)

No, there's nothing wrong with that, unless you remember to cut off the other ones once you find your match. That, and you aren't leading anyone else on. Sounds alright to me. :)



Fnord
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05 Jan 2013, 7:28 pm

I voted "Saying nothing wrong, Mr. Boo", because there is nothing wrong with polygamy in a non-committed relationship.



BanjoGirl
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05 Jan 2013, 7:44 pm

It depends on the kind of relationship, but it's not very nice when you are dating someone and you discover that person is dating other people to check "which one is better".


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Fnord
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05 Jan 2013, 7:58 pm

BanjoGirl wrote:
It depends on the kind of relationship, but it's not very nice when you are dating someone and you discover that person is dating other people to check "which one is better".

Only if monogamy is the expectation.

No expectation; no disappointment; no problem!



BlueMax
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05 Jan 2013, 8:22 pm

I agree with others, it's just dating but others should know it's not a committed relationship YET.

By the time you've had 3-5 dates and you might be developing feelings, you might consider becoming exclusive.

By the time you're having sex, I'd consider things serious enough for exclusivity.



Tim_Tex
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05 Jan 2013, 8:42 pm

If it's just dating, then you're right on the ball!

Dating several people is how you determine which one to take to the next level. That's how it's traditionally been done.


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BanjoGirl
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05 Jan 2013, 8:47 pm

Fnord wrote:
BanjoGirl wrote:
It depends on the kind of relationship, but it's not very nice when you are dating someone and you discover that person is dating other people to check "which one is better".

Only if monogamy is the expectation.

No expectation; no disappointment; no problem!


Yes.

Only a problem if you date someone you like but the other person is not that interested. If you are dating someone you really like, you don't need to date more people.


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Stargazer43
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05 Jan 2013, 9:02 pm

I personally think it's fine for the first few dates, but once you get past 3 or 4, I think it's time to pick one.



BlueMax
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05 Jan 2013, 9:25 pm

By the way, you're WP's favorite a$$hole! :lol:



nebrets
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05 Jan 2013, 9:32 pm

I would not go out with a person who would consider several people at once in that manner.


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BlueMax
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05 Jan 2013, 9:40 pm

nebrets wrote:
I would not go out with a person who would consider several people at once in that manner.


Even if it was just for coffee & nibbles? Or do you mean once things progress to a kissing level?