Dating websites - Why bother with them?

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Dating websites - Why bother with them?

All of this fuss over dating websites, I wonder why people bother with them, why not just go out and talk to someone? I can only see dating websites being good if you have trouble creating a good first impression but at least if you create a bad impression in real life, you'll know about it and can work on that aspect.

Positives to real life as opposed to dating websites.

A. You'll get a direct response, positive or negative and you'll receive some feedback.
B. It will force you out of the house to do an activity or join a club.
C. There's as much chance of a person flaking on a dating website as opposed to real life, at least in real life, you will get a more direct response.
D. It's free.
E. It will force you out of your comfort zone and help you to learn, you will receive feedback quicker and develop.
F. You'll have direct attention to create an interesting impression and stand out instead of just being another name on a computer monitor.

I'm with you on this. But I think the appeal for most is that the rejection is less personal.

And maybe, for some, they don't feel like they have the time to go out and try to meet people. Though, if one doesn't have time to go out, I don't see how one would have time for a relationship.

I suppose the rejection is less personal but at the end of the day, rejection is rejection. There's no difference in someone ignoring you or leading you on over a dating site as oppossed to someone telling you that they aren't interested in giving you their phone number, the difference is the latter is far more direct and quicker.

Being rejected in real life isn't a terrible thing because it can help people to receive feedback faster to see what works and what doesn't when it comes to being able to reciprocate and escalate in real social situations. I think it's a trial and error process and dating websites seem to be the slower option in this aspect.

A. Fake phone number direct response?
C. Kinda can flip that one, to the other way.
D. erm, online is free too. As long as you go in the supermarket, instead of the club.
E. points back to A.
F. only word I got is "and" I am just another person infront of them.

Again, I agree. But it did take a lot of rejection before I was able to realize that it really didn't matter. I've never actually used a dating site, but I imagine the hurt would be less.

You have the criteria & a lot more info on a dating site. Rather than bumping into someone. You know nothing about they criteria & other stuff. Some people are too busy.

Yes but I think it depends on the perspective of an approach, an approach isn't showing that person who you are completely, an approach is simply showing a person your traits in five or ten minutes, it's like a sales pitch or presentation.

Simply because someone doesn't have a good sales pitch doesn't mean they are an unattractive or undesirable person, it doesn't mean they wouldn't made a great partner, it simply means they need to work on their sales pitch or first impression. I think people on the spectrum struggle with first impressions and I think that's one of the major factors in why a percentage struggle with finding employment or romance.

But, in real life, you get a taste of their actual personality. Which I'd think is more important than a list of criteria.

Funny how many relationships have ended or marriages because they did not show they real personality. Same with a dinner date nothing to do with personality. It's a bs selling interview, for the most part.

fair enough. But I do think you get more of the real personality than you would online.

Just like Real life dating. Online dating has stages. It's about not randomly picking people & finding out if they fit the criteria. Just another filter & you got webcams or phone.

You end up meeting in real life & doing a date. I prefer more activity based date.

A. You can phone the number and instantly know it is fake as opposed to being lead on by someone on a dating website under the guise that they want to know you before meeting.
C. If someone does flake after you have made a successful approach, it is far more direct.
D. Plenty of other free places to meet people if you look at this thread, members and moderators testifying that they have had success through certain activities that didn't require going to a nightclub.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt193178.html
F. The difference is that you have the direct attention of that person instead of being just another name on a screen out of ten other people that might trying to message that person.

Fakery has much more chance to take place in online dating than in a face to face setting, just because it's easier to keep up a mask for longer if you want to. I hate fakery more than anything else in online communication. So no thanks. Let's face it I have significant struggles finding romance (and employment for that matter, they're both similar as they're both essentially competitive) and only ever had a girlfriend once when I was 10, yet I'd rather obtain them on my own honest merits.

Yeah, I just think you probably get to that stuff quicker when the first time you meet is in real life.

Ok I will just end it here, because this is just going to go on. Your point of view. my point of view. Both valid.

Do which ever one you want to.

Exactly, good point also. People can be more fake on the internet as opposed to a real life approach, there are even stories where men have pretended to be music producers and scammed women for money. People can also use software to fake web cam or voice changers as well so there's more chance of meeting someone that isn't genuine so in that sense, it can encourage scam artists and predators.

Here's a news headline story, Fidel Castro's son caught in Internet love sting with man pretending to be woman.
http://current.com/community/90200216_f ... -woman.htm