Does any1 think Aspie men struggle with women as much as...

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people here assert they do? Most of the posts here are depressing and sound hopeless. Since they are, it's making me doubt myself and feel worse about my chances with women. Most of the posts here are members saying they might as well give up and feel that they'll always be single. That, or being unable to shake their desperation. They also talk about the tendency of girls they seek friendship with to ignore them. I hope that this isn't true for all Aspies (everyone is different) but too many posts suggests these shortcomings.

Well, I've been married twice, but ever since getting divorced
For the second time (thank god) I have had no luck at all with women.
Even if they are interested I would never notice because my social
Skills are no longer acute enough. I seriously doubt I will ever have a
Girlfriend again. I am not depressed about it though, that's just the nature
Of the beast. I am better off anyway, unless I actually met an AS female!
But even then there's no guarantee that we'd get along in any meaningful
way. I think women gave it easier because they are sought out by men.
Its harder for AS men because we are expected to do the seeking, which
I no longer know how to do.

I think that you have to remember that most of the men in relationships probably don't visit or post in this section that often because for the most part they have no need to, thus we have no real way of telling just how many are in that position.

I'm not saying Aspie guys won't struggle with women, most of them probably will, but it doesn't necessary mean it's a hopeless situation.

People also have a tendency to post when they are having problems with dating or in a relationship, not because everything is going well and you have to keep that in mind too.

I'd love to struggle with women, but they never let me get close enough

I almost never talk to any women in real life, but I don't whine about it on this board like a lot of other guys here.

Members are here for a reason sometimes its their lack of luck finding a partner, other times its asking how to politely decline people....

That being said there are plenty of nts that post on other boards about struggling when it comes to dating(I can provide links to said boards if theres need to). Would it be rational to assume that since this nt men/women are at boards complaining about their struggles every nt person goes through the same process?.

I dont think so.

You have to look at things from perspective and the perspective here is that we are at a board about love and dating and those that have encouraged threads about succeeding have been accused of rubbing it in and similar non-sense several times in the past therefore there are almost no happy stories here.

The people who hang out all day on an internet forum whining are by definition a specific subset of a group.
The most charismatic person I've ever dated had Asperger's, and he had no shortage of success in the dating department.

I think men and women in general have different dating challenges, and those challenges are exacerbated by Autism,
but "who has it worse" is nothing but a p!ssing contest with subjective criteria which helps absolutely no one.

If we want to be able to relate to one another better, we should be talking about fighting gender roles,
not hating the opposite sex because they've been handed a different script within that context.

I never had a problem with girls. The problem I see most people having is wondering what "the rules" are when there are none, and women won't find you sexy if you're having to ask what's appropriate. Wiggin's self-selecting forum whiners too. If I left the house I wouldn't be here.

Absolutely. The whole "which gender has it worse" question is unanswerable. And irrelevant. Whoever has it worse, the solution to the problem is the same. Pointing out difficulties specific to each gender could be helpful in coming to a greater understanding of each other but, all too often, such discussions are taken over by those whose only interest is in assigning blame.

And as for the guys who have such difficulty finding women, most seem to share an unwillingness (or possibly an inability) to do what is necessary to find one. Get over past rejections, practice social skills, and approach women in the first place.

Someone with Asperger's is definitely at a disadvantage in the realm of dating. But I believe that, if they are willing to put in more work than is required of most, they can achieve similar success. Just because something is not handed to us on a silver platter like it is for others does not mean that we cannot go out and work to get it for ourselves.

...that was the point.

I was agreeing. Maybe should have used a colon. I'm not 100% on punctuation.

Are you looking at my colon?

Oh, gotcha. No, sorry. I'm abysmal at reading tone. I would blame it on the medium, but no...it's me.

I think that one of the reasons one could start entertaining such a view is owed to the demographics of the syndrome. Statistically (at least to my knowledge), men are more likely to have AS. Hence, more men have the ability to fail, and to complain, leading to the one-sided view that men with AS have a more difficult love-life than women. I personally do not believe this to be the case. Men are just more prone to "bitching" about it because it is socially accepted that men define themselves more by their sex drive, and get more defined by their society by their ability to get their ways with women. They get belittled by their male peers, or at least think that they are, get frustrated, and complain. Not saying that men and women might not have an easier time getting something or doing something, but I don't think it holds true in this case.

This as well. Society has a tendency to judge your masculinity by how many pants you can get into. Unfortunately, too many men buy into this and base their own sense of self-worth on it as well. Whereas with women (at least as far as I've seen) having fewer partners is generally considered a good thing. So it may be that men complain about it more because they feel that more is expected of them.

Probably the same reason it seems that that most of the "Why is it such a crime to sleep around?" posts (though there are far fewer of them) in the adult section are by women.

While most guys who post here really are looking for advice, or blowing off steam, there seem to be a few who are going out of their way to try to make other guys feel that way. Your best bet is to ignore those.