Need Advice on Learning at a Late Date

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Pyrite
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06 Apr 2012, 2:37 am

I haven’t really dated before (although I’ve always wanted to....in theory), and don’t really know how. I was hoping someone here might have advice on how to go about learning to do so (even though such advice is no substitute for a modicum of experience).

This all sounds really silly, but the problem with really silly questions is that it can be really hard to find relevant answers, particularly given that most people learned to do this stuff so long ago that their experiences aren’t really relevant to me.

My problem isn’t so much asking people out, it’s more the logistical problem of organizing the date itself. Where to go, how to arrange things, whether to pick the person up, those sorts of details (how does dinner and a movie actually work in practice?).

Maybe it’s partly because I’m not used to going to certain kinds of places routinely (i.e. alone). Should I be practicing doing that so that it will be in my comfort zone? Should I try and figure out some kind of list of everywhere I could ask someone to go so I know them off the top of my head? Is there a way of asking someone out but managing to avoid having to do the planning and thus learn indirectly?

I could use a little practical advice on a place to start, after which I’ll hopefully be able to learn through trial and error (mostly error).



foxfield
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06 Apr 2012, 9:11 am

This is what I would do if I was arranging a movie + dinner date.

1. Ask the person if they would be interested in going out with you sometime (see if they are interested in dating with you at all).

If yes, then at some point in the future:

2. Look at a list of films that are on in local cinemas. Pick the one that you think the other person would be most interested in. Ask them whether they would like to go see it with you.
-They should say yes, since they have already shown an interest in dating you. If they don't want to because they don't like the film/cinema, then ask them what they would prefer to do instead.

3. Pick a time and date that you think would be convienient for the other person to see the film. Ask them if they would like to go to the cinema with you at that time and date. If they can't, then they will usually suggest an alternative time and date.

4. Ask the person if they want to go out for a meal before/after the film, and whether they have any favourite food types, or are vegetarian. If they want to go for a meal with you, select a restaurant which is in a convienient location for the cinema. Ask the person if they would fancy eating there. If not, re-negotiate until you both agree.

5. You don't have to pick up the person to go on the date, its not expected of you. Only do that if you want to. Instead, negotiate the most convienient place and time for both of you to meet based on your choice of cinema/restaurant.

6. Meet up with the person at the agreed date, time and place.

Not sure how helpful this is. If there is something specific that you are unsure of then just ask.



Pyrite
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08 Apr 2012, 9:17 pm

foxfield wrote:
This is what I would do if I was arranging a movie + dinner date.

1. Ask the person if they would be interested in going out with you sometime (see if they are interested in dating with you at all).

If yes, then at some point in the future:

2. Look at a list of films that are on in local cinemas. Pick the one that you think the other person would be most interested in. Ask them whether they would like to go see it with you.
-They should say yes, since they have already shown an interest in dating you. If they don't want to because they don't like the film/cinema, then ask them what they would prefer to do instead.

3. Pick a time and date that you think would be convienient for the other person to see the film. Ask them if they would like to go to the cinema with you at that time and date. If they can't, then they will usually suggest an alternative time and date.

4. Ask the person if they want to go out for a meal before/after the film, and whether they have any favourite food types, or are vegetarian. If they want to go for a meal with you, select a restaurant which is in a convienient location for the cinema. Ask the person if they would fancy eating there. If not, re-negotiate until you both agree.

5. You don't have to pick up the person to go on the date, its not expected of you. Only do that if you want to. Instead, negotiate the most convienient place and time for both of you to meet based on your choice of cinema/restaurant.

6. Meet up with the person at the agreed date, time and place.

Not sure how helpful this is. If there is something specific that you are unsure of then just ask.


There's that much negotiating?