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FroggySmiles
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11 Apr 2012, 8:05 am

My ex said he didn't want children, and that I could barely take care of myself much less a child. Then, he has a child with the his next girlfriend. So now I'm feeling like what is wrong with me. All these feelings of being not good enough come up.

We broke up because he treated me like crap. He wouldn't even meet my dad when he came into town and we had been dating over a year at that point. I could never do anything right in his eyes.

And yet, I'm still beating myself up thinking maybe the reason he treated me crappy was my fault. Maybe this girl was better than me.



ToadOfSteel
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11 Apr 2012, 8:11 am

FroggySmiles wrote:
My ex said he didn't want children, and that I could barely take care of myself much less a child. Then, he has a child with the his next girlfriend. So now I'm feeling like what is wrong with me. All these feelings of being not good enough come up.

We broke up because he treated me like crap. He wouldn't even meet my dad when he came into town and we had been dating over a year at that point. I could never do anything right in his eyes.

And yet, I'm still beating myself up thinking maybe the reason he treated me crappy was my fault. Maybe this girl was better than me.


Please don't blame yourself... that guy was a dick.



ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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11 Apr 2012, 8:31 am

The guy doesn't seem to know what he's about, so f**k him in the eye with a pointed stick.



DrDiva
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11 Apr 2012, 9:20 am

That sort of thing happens all the time, aspie or not. No one can explain it other than he probably didn't know what he wanted. I have never been the "Starter" girlfriend, but I have seen it over and over. I don't sleep with anyone until love is evident, but you may not have either. I'm sorry for your pain. Wish I could give you a hug. The right person will cherish you for you. It will happen, have faith, Grasshopper!



diniesaur
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11 Apr 2012, 11:43 am

It's not your fault. That guy was a complete dick, and he doesn't deserve anyone! From what you've told me, it seems like there's something wrong with him--not just different, but wrong. What he said to you about not being able to take care of yourself combined with you saying that he treated you like crap and didn't want to meet your father makes it seem to me like he was at least giving you verbal abuse.

You, on the other hand, have nothing to worry about! You already get points in my book for having "froggy" and "smiles" in your username. :wink:



PastFixations
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11 Apr 2012, 3:47 pm

*Hugs*
Remember that you aren't to blame in this situation... and that you don't need someone like him in your life.
If you need people to talk to, you have come to the right place.
I hope you can put this behind you over time and move on when your ready. =]


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11 Apr 2012, 4:03 pm

FroggySmiles wrote:
My ex said he didn't want children, and that I could barely take care of myself much less a child. Then, he has a child with the his next girlfriend. So now I'm feeling like what is wrong with me. All these feelings of being not good enough come up.

Maybe the kid was an accident or not planed on & he's trying to do the rite thing :?


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hale_bopp
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11 Apr 2012, 4:49 pm

The guy sounds like an a***hole.

I know you shouldn't take it personally, but you do.

But try to remember for every a***hole there is an understanding guy out there.



FroggySmiles
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12 Apr 2012, 11:37 am

Thanks you all. Whenever it starts to get to me, I just read this thread.



TheHouseholdCat
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20 Apr 2012, 11:43 am

DrDiva wrote:
That sort of thing happens all the time, aspie or not. No one can explain it other than he probably didn't know what he wanted. I have never been the "Starter" girlfriend, but I have seen it over and over. I don't sleep with anyone until love is evident, but you may not have either. I'm sorry for your pain. Wish I could give you a hug. The right person will cherish you for you. It will happen, have faith, Grasshopper!

I do not completely agree with the "it will happen" rhetoric. But I agree that if it doesn't work out, it's not automatically your fault. The guy did not seem worth it. If he didn't treat you adequately, there's definitely something wrong with him. It's complete lack of respect.

hale_bopp wrote:
The guy sounds like an a***hole.

I know you shouldn't take it personally, but you do.

But try to remember for every a***hole there is an understanding guy out there.

He's not worth it.

But I can say that I am the kind of person who could end up in a relationship like that, too.

I used to be interested in guys who are either not worth it or not the kind of person I'd like to be with. I used to believe that if there's "the right guy out there for me" I would find him. So even if he's an as*hole, I could give it a try. I stopped believing in these empty hopes. I feel much better now.


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25 Apr 2012, 10:52 pm

I been rejected for one reason or another. And you know what?

You should dedicated yourself to making yourself better. Make that guy regret he left you.

I got rejected by so many people. I still get rejected. And every time it happens, I say, "I'm gonna change, and make myself better and into the kind of person a woman will love." I'm going to be successful, respected, with money, resources, self determination. I'm gonna prove every single, judgmental one of them how wrong and stupid they were, and that THEY are the mediocre ones.

You should do the same. You can do better than this waste of flesh, and you should prove it by being the best you can be, and being a more successful, better human being than him, his hausfrau and his screeching, rotten little rugrats.

Do it all for the day you bump into him in the grocery store, and he's losing his hair and dealing with a little monster who won't shut up and quit fussing, and you are happy, successful.

Make him regret he ever left you!



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25 Apr 2012, 11:26 pm

I agree, you shouldn't base your sense of worth and value on someone that isn't really worth it. Once you realize that and understand that you are deserving of someone that is understanding and accepting, you will start to realize you deserve someone that treats you with mutual respect and trust.



mellisamouse
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26 Apr 2012, 3:11 am

FroggySmiles wrote:
Thanks you all. Whenever it starts to get to me, I just read this thread.


I am glad you are listening to everyone, cause you seem so sweet, and I love your silly smiley face too.... you made me smile and I cried all day, cause it was so obvious you are better than him and desrve more.

You all did being such a good friend to her too, is so nice to see. :)