Just got out of a three year relationship

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With the only man I've ever been serious about. I've dated only women outside of the previous relationship. I won't say he was a bad person or it was his fault, and I have no memory of our breakup, I just know when I woke up my first memory afterwards was my dad in my kitchen asking me if I was okay.

I had a broken tailbone and a concussion, and no idea what happened. I just knew he had explained to my dad via email that we had broken up(my dad owns the house I live in, and lives in the same town) and we haven't spoken at all. That bothered me because I really wanted to know what happened. Now I'm not at all interested because of what all I've found out about the situation.

Luckily my family has been very supportive. And right when I needed a good friend, an ex-girlfriend(we split amicably because she was moving to Colorado) popped back into my life. She's been such a great help to me, she's brutally honest as well though.

I never thought of it as a problem with my relationship but everything was always so difficult. I wanted to be a better person for my fiance but I never let myself take steps toward being the person I wanted to be and I think it's because I had such resentment due to the idea of doing anything to change myself for a man.

I know I originally thought that's why I wanted to improve myself and change my life and he may have asked for it but he never demanded it... but I hated myself for that.

Now I'm taking steps toward these goals without having to force myself to do it. I'm shocked at how easy it is to get up and do these things now that he's gone. I'm shocked that I don't feel heartbroken 24/7. I'm not sure why I didn't see how much I allowed the relationship to hold me back.

Two problems:
I have ALL of his stuff, even his high school year book. Since he's not speaking to me I've neatly packed away all of his belongings and put them into storage. I assume he'll contact me when he's ready to get them back. I have no idea how long I should store his stuff before getting rid of it if he doesn't attempt to retrieve it... a year? Two? Abd what is the appropriate thing to do with it? I know where he's staying but I have no way to drive it four hours and drop it off even if I felt that was appropriate.

And what of... our dog? My aunt gave us a neglected/abused dog and she was/is like the most important part of my day. Just getting her back to good health and getting her to become more trusting and playful. She's transformed completely in just a few months... but is it OK that I'm not going to let him have her?(he didn't even ask me directly if he could take her) I don't want to risk this dog being in a bad environment after the life she's had. She sleeps against my head every night and has a routine and is finally consistently calm and not afraid of people. When we got her she hid in my closet and wouldn't come out for two days.

Eh. It's hard to type this all out on my phone so I'll end this here.

Well Its sound like it got pretty rough and that its good that its over with.

I once dated a girl who sadly went through a violent break up aswell and it was only 6 months later that she started to feel really heartbroken over it. So just be careful these thing don't heal so easily and the heartache can pain creap up on you.

I think its good your moving on doing things you want to do and I hope it works out for the best.

as for his stuff......burn it!!
but no at the most store it for a month.

I would suggest having others approach your ex about the dog and see if hes willing to part with it, and maybe have them bring up the things of his you have in storage.

I don't know anyone who could approach him for me about the dog or his stuff. I don't know what the right thing is to do with his stuff if he never comes to get it.

Is it fair just to drop it all at a goodwill location or something?

I would say its fair I mean its his stuff and if hes not going to come and get it. Its not your job to save it for him.

Could your dad maybe see if he would part with the dog for you?

Honestly if he hasn't asked for the dog by now then he probably doesn't want it. Consider it yours in the "divorce" since you seem to truly care for it. As for his things I would call him once to let him know you have it to arrange a time he can pick it up (maybe leave it in a box outside your front door) if he agrees to it. Then hold it for a week or two after...if he doesn't get it then trash it. I've mistakenly held on to ex's things for months and years to no avail before I gave up. It's just better to rid yourself of it sooner rather than later, just my opinion.

My dad was arranging to give him his stuff but he refused to come get it unless he could bring a relative and go into the house by himself, and my dad knew I wasn't okay with that. Eventually my dad got sick of it because he thought my ex was being a coward by refusing to speak to me about it and my dad, being kind of conservative, got really mad when a lie was uncovered and it turned out my ex was accusing me of being in possession of his medication when he'd actually recently traded it all for other medications which he abused.

So now my dad doesn't care if he gets his stuff, he'd rather I throw it away.

I think it's a good idea to just throw it all away. I know the yearbook meant a lot to him because it's from when he went to school in Belgium but he should've come and picked it up. Without his mom, considering he's thirty and she once told me I should kill myself and all aspergers people should have to wear electric dog collars so they won't have meltdowns and that we can't feel love.

He knows I won't let that mean old gremlin into my home. I don't want to be reminded of him so I'm going to take all of the storage containers to goodwill and see what all they will accept. The rest I will throw away. I'm sure goodwill takes video games and electronics.

I would just keep his thing's who knows he might come over to collect then some day.

If you ship the stuff to him you will be rid of both his stuff and any temptation to feel guilty about it. Shipping (UPS or Postal) is impersonal; requires no communication and you'll know you did the right thing. No intermediaries needed.

The dog is different. Please don't jeopardize the dog's well being by opening up any negotiations. X-boyfriend hasn't asked; don't create a potential problem where none exists. Consider the dog to be your charge.

I considered shipping until I looked into the cost, we lived together for three years and he didn't take any of his belongings.

He asked my dad for the dog, I'm not giving her to him, I just don't know if that's an unfair thing to do to him. He didn't even seem to like her very much, I don't know why he asked for her.

It really sounds like you're trying to do the right thing however uncooperative he's being. Again I just say be rid of his things (it's not rude at this point) and enjoy the company of your pet. Even still, we're not in your position so do whatever feels right but perhaps being rid of his belongings will help you in your process to move forward.