On one-night stands and physical interaction...

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Right, as a person who likes to go out and socialize when given the chance (preferably whenever there's alcohol involved), I'm starting to wonder, how does one-night stands actually work?
By now I have enough experience to know that when someone I know all of a sudden disappears with a girl at a party, only to reappear forty minutes later, something's happened (even when no words are exchanged (some NTs prefer to keep these things on the down-low, but it varies)). Sometimes people will even tell me what happened, but not always.
I actually had a guy on a forum tell me that he would just ask a girl that he met if she'd like to have sex with him, just like that. Kind of like how kids will ask other kids in their neighborhood if they want to play. Is this socially acceptable, or is flirting a requirement?
The sad thing is, I can have normal (and sometimes quite long and quite interesting) conversations with people I've just met at a party, but I never managed to figure out how to go from casual conversation to flirting.
Needless to say, I've never had a one-night stand before, which I find disheartening, because it seems like a great way to start a relationship or even gain a friendship (I realize that one-night stands can also be weird and uncomfortable for the parties involved, but I also realize that I'll never be able to figure out if something is for me if I can't even figure out how to try it!)
Now you could argue that "a one-night stand isn't a great way to start a friendship", but in my experience most people I meet at parties end up being acquaintances at best... doesn't seem to be that way for my NT friends who know how to flirt and do all that hullabaloo. Sometimes I keep thinking that I would be satisfied just making out with girls that I meet, even if we don't sleep together.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that it seems like physical interaction will strengthen a bond between two people that you just cannot get from mere talk alone. This seems perfectly natural to me, but I just don't know how to solve the enigma of actually getting to the physical interaction part!!

I think there are two questions in here, one explicit and one implied.

I can't answer the question of how to get a one-night stand, especially at a party. I find generally that most girls are disinterested in me, or else they just want to talk. The exception is the rare experience of a drunk girl who definitely seems to want to touch me, but then I don't know whether her interest is "real".

As for whether sex or making out are good ways to start a friendship, I'd say not unless you want sex or other physical intimacy to be a (or THE) main focus of your friendship. I'd very much like to know more women who I can not only have good conversations with, but make out with at the very least, so this wouldn't be a problem for me, but many girls seem to have a problem with combining the two. I recently had a girl say to me that she doesn't like to "whore herself out" for friends.

Sex doesn't necessarily create a stronger friendship or relationship. It takes away some barrier between you (that of not being able to touch each other), and especially for people with a more "male brain", this can make the interaction from then on seem somehow more open and authentic--unless one person deliberately hides him/herself in weird social games to counteract a feeling of awkwardness evoked by the intimacy.

Nope, nope nope nope. You and I have both never experienced a one night stand, so I'm no expert. However, from everything I've studied about one night stands, the name says it all. It's one night where you and another person have sex, then you never get in touch again. It's best for people who are shallow, and don't want a long-term relationship. You will not, by any means, start any permanent relationship through a midnight stand, and if you assume otherwise, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

and now i await for all the members here whove started relationships that last for years from a one nighter

I totally agree!

Ive never become friends with a one night stand. it either becomes a relationship or it's just the one night. I wouldnt see it as a way to reinforce bonds but maybe that's just me.

A one night stand, by definition, means someone you get intimate with and then never see again.

If it turns into a relationship, it isn't a one night stand.

If it turns into a friendship by mutual agreement, it might still qualify ... but that is so rare it probably isn't worth discussing, for both to say, "that was fun, let's be friends." Men generally don't WANT friends from these transactions, they want to have a little fun and move on, no strings attached.

Only you can decide if you can enjoy being intimate without expecting or even hoping for anything to follow. If you can't, then you should be careful not to jump into intimacy too soon: it won't help anything get started, it will just make you feel like crap. If you can well, then, you should have no trouble finding men of like mind.

As for the guy who outright says he just wants sex - whether or not that is socially acceptable depends on the community, but while I would have probably reacted negatively to it, I've got to appreciate the honesty. Worse are the guys who pretend to like you, who lead you into thinking the intimacy could start a relationship, when all they ever really wanted was the one night stand, and they had always planned to get the sex and move on without seeing you again. And there are lots of men like that out there. Be careful.

Looks like you're still waiting. I'm sorry, but anyone can have sex. That means you have reproductive systems in common... wow, a match made in heaven. Here's a wild and crazy idea, before you have sex with a person, get to know them better. Become their friend, share interests, do things together, become emotionally attached. This is what forms relationships that last for years, not having sex and then thinking it will magically make you and the other person a perfect match. I might sound a bit mean, but there is no way in hell a one night stand will develop into a relationship that even lasts one year, However, if it does, make sure to contact the Guinness World Records Commission.

Well i dont feel like putting their names public. But if you search enough youll find them. Who says someone looking for a one night stand is looking for a relationship? Does that make the person shallow? Not nearly as shallow as someone who judges others for what they do.

It's not judging, it's a fact. These people are looking to have one night of sex, then jump boat. It's not called a "one night stand" for nothing. I see where you're coming from, not trying to judge sexual activities. I'm not condemning one night stands, I'm just saying, it's about 1000x easier to ask a girl to coffee and develop a relationship that way.

Umm no, its judging. you're discussing something in which there is no real truth. Rather a bunch of different ways to go through things. And whatever reason you have to think of them as shallow be it jealousy, religious, personal ethics/moral, etc is something that should stay in how you do things and not be what everyone has to deal with.

That out of the way, theres no surefire easier thing. Because lets face it we all have different goals. For one it might be just wanting a friend, for another wanting a partner, for another just getting the tingle off their genitals. And that doesnt mean someone looking for a partner cant satisfy their needs every so often or that someone looking for sex cant find a good friend.

MXH and I will have to agree to disagree. Take my word for it though mate, I'm not going to give you politically-correct bull crap I know is false. (I've talked to friends, even seen videos about one night stands - rule one: get out as soon as you wake up.) By all means, go out and have a wild night However, do not expect the person you just had sex with to admire you as a partner just because you did it. Much less, don't even assume you're compatible! Church goers, punk rockers, business minds, soldiers, pacifists, nerds, jocks, poor people, rich people, ANYONE can have sex. What are the chances that your having sex will be with a person who you are perfect for - or for that matter, even like?!?!

Yeah, that is easier written than done, though. Most of the threads started in this forum seem to be a variation of "I can't figure out how to start a relationship/I always stay in the friend-zone/My best friend doesn't want to marry me"
Before suggesting that I should get emotionally attached, please describe a surefire way for me to make sure that the other party will do so to, so I don't end up wasting my emotions again.

One night stands are not about making new friends. Often, and usually the two people involved are so embarrassed they never look at each other again. Also, be assured your name will be out there as a person who is pretty loose. I won't use the bad word that goes with this. There is absolutely nothing interesting about doing things animals would do in a coat closet at a party. IMHO.

the whole point of a one night stand is to get sex and not bother with that person afterwards. Its the appeal of them. its the whole reason they exist. You dont do one night stands to meet people. You do them for a quick lay and move on to either the next one nighter or to meeting someone.

another one in the same boat. Too ashamed to talk to each other? The only things ive heard happen after one night stands was liking having sex with them enough to become f**k buddies. Things animals do in a closet? Newsflash, humans are animals.