Never had a real girlfriend.

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And it's killing me.

Obsession, day in and day out.

I know it's not good or healthy or cool or anything.

I know I'm a raging heterosexual and only castration could ever cure that.

I wish I could concentrate on other things. I wish I could rechannel, or sublimate this energy into something that, for the time being, is constructive.

But day in and day out, it dominates my thoughts. It's like I've been cursed. It's like there's a demon gnawing away at me.

I've only ever wanted to meet the right woman and then marry her.

That's all.

I feel cheated. But then nobody (the cosmos) owes me anything, I guess.

I'm 28 years old. I dress shabby so I could fix that, but I'm dashingly handsome. More than a few women, independently of one another, have told me I look like Johnny Depp. I have a Master's degree and I'm 1.5 years into PhD studies. I specialize in arcane sexiness such as postmodernism and cultural studies. And I'm funny as hell... mixing crass absurdity with deadpan delivery. I have plenty of friends. I cannot count all the extremely attractive women (by Los Angeles standards, at that) I've had as close friends. I was always a weirdo, but I was always a popular weirdo who was a blast at parties.

But I've never had a girlfriend. And it's mentally murdering me.

I know it's not good to be so obsessed... it hasn't gotten me anything. There's got to be a better way to go about it.

There's got to be a better way to live life aside from that gaping aporia that I'm so stuck on.

Some days I wish I was standing around in a crowd and I would look across and see a woman, and just as her eyes met mine, God would speak to her: "thou shalt date that man." And she would obey. But then she'd find out I was the greatest guy ever, so it would be all good.

well you could always do what everyone else does and place a personal ad, on somekindof dating service. looks like you have alot going for you career wise, so your half way there. women love dudes with a career path, and diplomas

There is great hesitance to do so, but more on that later. I mainly want to stem the flow of obsession that dominates the waking life.

My one friend Andy says when he listens to Children of Bodom, the keyboard makes him think of Dio. "Like a Rainbowwwww in the dahhhhhhk!! !!" When it comes to the "rarrrr rarrrrr woooarrrrrgh!! !" stuff, I've always been of the blow-your-wad-in-90-seconds grindcore/noisecore/crustcore persuasion.

haha children of bodom rule. the guitars and keyboards sound amazing especially on there first three albums.

Same boat, working on same problem.. I've narrowed it down to: 'Find a girl who is like me' which is super...


...because I normally find myself away from everyone

This semester has been awful. My social life is literally non-existant. I get to go out maybe once a month. And only for a night as opposed to an all day and into night thing.

Yeah, a personal ad is definitely the most viable option in your situation. If you don't get out much how are you supposed to run into enough women to find one who will date you? A personal ad will up your odds by 300%.

If you're hesitant to use such an ad, perhaps you are not will to put any effort into finding a woman. A woman is not going to magically fall out of the sky and onto your lap, as you seem to expect. That is for movies.

Trust me, I ain't that dumb.

The thing is, I got more important thigns to devote my mind to right now.

And I feel like I'm being robbed by the obsession over not having a girlfriend.

My rational side wants to know how to stem the tide of obsession... which is, at present, more important than scoring a date.

Today I was trying to reread "Gender Trouble" by Judith Butler. Fortunately I'm well-versed in poststructural weirdness, so it's an easier read for me than it would be for most.

And I sat there for an hour obsessing over girls... and then I went "s***! !! I just sat here for an hour staring at the words without turning a single page!! !" Not good!! ! And that happened more than once today. It sucked.

It's a bad cognitive thing... I want to know how to... suppress the overwhelming obsession that just never goes away.

I'll go back on the hunt when this bloody semester's over!

Part of it is good ol' ASpie obessession, and part is buying into the media's portrayal of a relationship being a magic pill that cures all yer ills. A woman will make you happy, a woman will make you feel fulfilled, blahdy blah ....

Trust me, it's great to have someone who loves you, and cares about you, but EVERY THING IN LIFE CARRIES A PRICE. Sometimes you think 'ah, this will be great' and you realize now you've got a whole NEW set of problems.

(Also try dressing NT. Glance through a copy of one of those faggy NT men's fashion mags for ideas.)

What the f**k is wrong with you people??? You are all pathetic. Buch of goddamn losers.

Why don't you simply take your leave if you don't like what is being posted on these boards? No-one's holding a gun to your head and politely asking you to be here.

Ah... *claps hand* that's it!

How do I defeat good ol' Aspie obsession in this instance?

I just gotta know! It's killing me!

Oh, and one of my academic specialties is cultural studies, and of course, postmodern theory. I know allllllll about the bullsh*t-o-sphere that saturates our very collective consciousness. As in, I literally publish academic journal articles about it.

But I do know one thing: I've always had a high-octane sex drive irregardless of my state of mind. I can't walk by a wooden fence without taking a good hard look at a knothole....



If I had the money I'd go all out. I'm stuck with the Salvation Army for the time being.

I dress fairly tasteful for an off-duty construction worker. I don't look like a clown, or the geekiest D&D enthusiast you've ever known.

Last edited by camphortree on 07 Nov 2006, 7:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

Whats worse, people discussing their issues or people that troll message boards and call those people losers.. Seriously dude, there isnt a person on this website who is more a loser then you

Do you say things like that to people's faces? If I was standing there, you wouldn't.

Charming. I bet the ladies fall over a sparkling attitude like that...