What should I tell her?

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Ok, so for those of you who don't already know the backstory... I was in a relationship with this girl (we'll call her K) up until about this time last year, at which point our relationship failed and went on a downward spiral over a month long until we finally broke up.

I was devastated over this, and probably would still be if it weren't for P, my new girlfriend. We started dating November of last year, and since then our relationship has blossomed into something much more emotionally fulfilling than my relationship with K, which I guess focused more on the physical aspects of our non-platonic relationship more so than the emotional end.


Anyways, finals week is coming up (Laramie is a college town for those who aren't familiar), and in about 2 weeks P will be returning to Casper for the summer. She'll be back next semester.

The problem is that both P and K live in Casper. At first I was worried about the two of them running into each other in town, but figured Casper is a big enough city that the odds would be slim.

Unfortunately, I found out last weekend that P and K share a hobby - bingo. They both play at the same bingo hall in Casper, which brings the probability of them meeting - if they haven't already - to about 99.5%.

P already knows about K, and she knows I'm still dealing with issues surrounding our former relationship. However, I'm afraid that if the two of them meet and strike up a conversation, and in the process they both realize that P is dating K's ex, bad s**t will happen. Either K will start telling P lies about me in an attempt to drive us apart, or will become hostile and possibly violent against P. If it's the latter case, I doubt P will have much of an issue as she is an extremely good martial artist. My problem is that one of K's hobbies is guns, and since Wyoming is an open carry state I wouldn't put it past her to have some kind of firearm on hand should a confrontation occur, and if things get too hostile she could definitely use it. P, on the other hand, dislikes guns, and even though she'll probably have a penknife on hand to defend herself, it's not going to do diddly squat. To quote the Godfather "Don't bring knives to a gunfight."

Even barring the possibility of a violent confrontation between the two, I kind of don't want them to talk, since K will probably give P a bunch of BS about how she thinks I mistreated her, when in reality it was just as much her fault our relationship went south as it was mine. I know P is a very shrewd person and would probably see through K's lies quite easily, but still.

At the same time though, I don't want P to think that I'm forbidding her from talking to K, because for one P is a very stubborn woman and will probably not listen to me if I phrased it as an order (and I don't like doing that anyways), and for two I don't want her to think that there's still something between K and me, even if it's the mutual antagonism of mortal enemies (which we are at this point).

What should I tell P just so that she knows to keep her guard up around K without actually telling her she can't talk to K?

I'd say ... chilll out. You're imagining gunfights and stabbings and kung-fu fights in the bingo hall, think about it, its all a wee bit unlikely. I don't know either of these people but I'm more than a little skeptical about the scenarios you're worrying about. Not that you don't read about stuff like that in the news, but still.

Yeah, they might talk, maybe they'll even get into a yelling match, who knows. You can't worry about this sort of stuff too much, you can't control every situation in life.

this^^

I think you're like me, you've been watchin' too many movies/t.v shows

I wouldn't say anything. If you try to explain everything to P about K you may come off as if you are trying to hide something. If they were ever to meet and K started spouted off stuff to P about you, I would hope that P is smart enough to know that K is just a bitter person and talk to you about it before making up her mind. If not then I would think twice about P. If she'll fall for something like that then your relationship isn't that strong and she may not be the one for you.

I still don't think they'll be any gun slinging going on in the the wild wild midwest.

Mate, you'll end up losing your gf...
As much as I'd hate to say it but on this side it looks like you are controlling her life.
Your overreacting and thinking the worst when there is no need.

*shrug* Warn her that she and K might meet, and that K is likely carrying a gun. P can make her own decisions from there, since I'm assuming you've already given P a little bit of info on your past relationship with K, and if not, then you can either give her a rundown, or not tell her at all.

And if she meets K and asks you why you didn't warn her about it afterwards? Well, I guess you'll have to try and think: How would P react?

You couldn't be further from the truth. There is no way I can honestly be controlling like that because P is the most stubborn tenacious woman on the face of the goddamn planet. Seriously. I say it like it's a flaw, and for all I know it may be, but it's one she's admitted to, and it's also one of the reasons why I love her, is because she is independent.

And I'll be honest, it's not like I'm trying to forbid P from talking to K. I'm not. She has a right to speak to and make friends with anyone she chooses, and I respect that. All I'm doing is telling her to keep her guard up and watch her six, because K is f*****g psycho. You know the saying "rose-tinted glasses?" Yeah, totally did not realize how insane this woman was until AFTER I broke up with her. Seriously, I don't know why I didn't notice this eariler, she will sit in anime club watching the goriest most violent horror anime I've ever seen [link] and be laughing manically at little girls killing each other in a gruesome manner. This chick is a few kernels short of an operating system if you ask me.

I would assume that you've made enough general comments about the past girlfriend that the current girlfriend already has a sense of how she came off to you.

What I'm not sure of is if the current girlfriend knows the ex lives in the same town, or if she knows her name. If not, I think that information would be fair game to share.

After that ... you have to trust your current girlfriend and her judgment. Doing anything else can backfire.

I should think "Yo - my ex bears a nasty grudge, likes firearms, and plays bingo too" would be sufficient. (Then hand your current gf a picture or three of her so that she can ID her on sight with no problem.)