How can you tell when you're in love?

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I just don't know.

They say it is a feeling beyond words. I say it is a chemically based delusion.

As far as I have understood things it's a sense of mutual understanding of each others pecularities.

Sex is for offspring. But it feels nice. But before I found the right woman, i even could penetrate due to my own rules for myself, I had tough social skill learning and due to my honestness I don't know how many girlfriends, but they wheren't fit.

The one person I only can describe as the one I loved and still love, though not enough to live with, was my partner for 19 years and still is my best friend. And we don't do friends sex, but can discuss things normal people have problems with.

I've been mocked all way around my youth, but I've been "making it out" with quite a lot of women but never found one "enough fit" for me before my ex. It seems to me quite strange.

I wish I knew.I used to get obsessed with a guy and think about them constantly and need to know every thing about them and spend as much time as possible with them and constantly worry about losing them.I thought this was love.....but then eventually,the feeling would become less and less and then nothing.It wouldnt be something the person "did".They would still be the same person with the same qualities I use to almost "worship" but I just wouldnt care about them anymore.I assumed it was love and I just "fellout of love"....or I was addicted to the intensity of first falling in love and when that lessened(which it always does),then I would need to find a new fresh,intense love object.I use to think being adopted made in inpossible for me to "trust" and fear of being rejected would make me do the rejecting.....all,a lot of psycho babble.

I now think it is the AS....the individuals(who I continued to like as people but no longer felt that worshipful feeling that I thought was love,)where actually "objects of interest"...like many AS obsessions....there is a waxing and waining in interest in the "objects"(yes,I know how heartless this seems but I am just being totally honest with you and myself).I think true love is when the person
transcends this waxing and waning.I have been in love with the same guy for 4 years and I love him as much as I did the first year.I can see and except his imperfections and he does like wise for me.
He lets me be me...bad and good....and I do the same for him,without effort.This is the closest thing to love that I have ever felt and it is completely different from wht I thought was "love' when I was younger.I think it is "real"?Maybe I just grew -up?and stopped trying to find the "perfect person"....
As I said,I dont really know.I maybe deluding myself,seems to be a special ability for me.(LOL?)

Krex, you opened another knowledge window for me.

Sex for me is very serious social interaction, so that's why it took me 7 years to decide to get my first kid. I've of course had sex before but I simply could not come inside a woman without prevention. Not because she rose the erotic level to levels I understand most people would think was ridiculous, but simply because I couldn't. That would be flesh hunt.

Are all AS people like this? I mean, have empathy and a social rule schematic for situations that normaly would seem natural but f.ex. I have to almost force me into?

If I would decide to I could easily walk 2.5 minutes to my ex, go to bed with her, and it would probably end up with sex, but since I don't love her enough I can't do that. It's a deeply rooted thing about how people socially interact!

Darn, this is hard to grip!

As I understand it from my own experiance, love is the most abstract of emotions. You just can't explain why whenever you think of someone you get this warm feeling inside of yourself, and why when you're with them you get this amazing feeling of security, and you just feel like everything's perfect. And finding out that the other person feels the same way about you is one of the best feelings in the world too.

But for me, being in love is when you have an emotional attachment to the person above all others, and you feel as though if they were sad you'd be sad, too. If they were happy you'd be happy, too.

I hope that helps, it probably won't, though. Because it's just one thing I can't explain at all.

I think people have to show and tell you that.

I think capacity to fall in love with someone is a personality thing - as in their personality and how it matches/mingles with yours. If you have something hit you with them that's just different - different in a way that pulls you in, a side-angle that's different than what you would have ever anticipated but feels way healthier and more real than anything you could have imagined until that point - I think that's when your actually heading into that territory.

When you even like the crap things about them.

Love hurts, though. I've only been in love once and I was treated like sh*t.

It definately hurts..

In my experience dealing with each others problems only leads to pain. However giving each other strength through trust and faith is very different.


This is how I would define love between two people:

To always forgive each other, to LEARN everything about each other and realise there is still more to learn, to help each other with positive support that can sometimes be brutally honest..

To know you love someone, if you would do ANYTHING for them and you feel you gain something they give to no one else in return.

I may be a tad biased as I hold onto a very idealistic version of love.

Some other ways to explain love:

"The paradox of needing"

"A way of feeling"

"equality with difference"

"Pain bestowed"

"revenge-free fighting"

A wiser man than me once said:

You love her,
But she loves him,
And he loves somebody else - you just can't win.

And so it goes until the day you die,
This thing they call love, it's gonna make you cry.
I've had the blues, the reds and the pinks,
One thing's for sure:

Love stinks.

short and simple: your brain chemistry undergoes change. I'm not a psychologist, but this is pretty much accepted as fact. Anything we humans do can in some way be traced back to and explained by the inner workings of the brain. "Love" is no different. In the end, we're pretty much just robots with flesh.

Sorry to rain on the parade, but thinking of it like this is the only way I can make it through the night.

Chemistry.

Thinking about this kinda explains why I can only love another human when I obsess over them too.

It is different with family, and those that I connect with through music or drive.

But still, I can't love with passion without obsession, which would explain why when I'm alone I feel so driven towards music (its even sexual sometimes). The passion seems quite scary to most but I think I can start to see it as a strength now, does the word love always have to apply to two people?

Can it apply to a person with a vision?

A person with something they want to share with all who will hear?

Mitch8817 supergenious! A simple evolutionary reason to protect mates and off spring. Its all about reproduction.

Well yeh, but I truly believe this energy can be sublimated, and therefore is forced to come out in various creative/intellectual pursuits.

Too true, however the emotions are still real and you have to deal with em for what they are. That's also one of those things that's like saying there's no god - may very well be true but like you'd never wanna say the latter around a christian you'd probably never want to say the former around the opposit sex. People are always skeptical of other people's motivations and ideas and sometimes you almost have to falsify certain societally endorsed delusions just for people to get the fact that you aren't a bad person. Lame, but that's just how the evaluation process goes.