Need advice on girl I like

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Well it's happened again. I've found a girl I really like and I don't know what to do. None of my friends understand the dilemmas and problems my AS puts me through so I'll turn to you. If i run you through my situation, hopefully someone can help

I kind of liked this girl back in college, but I'm not sure if she knew. Back then if I liked someone I was really upfront about it and told them, or didn't say a word about it. In this particular case I didn't say a word, but I'm not sure how obvious it was to anyone outside my own head

We got on really well back then, but after college finished, we lost touch completely, due to me getting into a relationship with my crazy ex fiance. She forced all my friends out my life, including this girl

Now I'm single again, have been for about 11 months now.

I came across this girl again on Facebook a few weeks ago, added her and got chatting. It was like there hadn't actually been any time not speaking to each other. This is the point when I learnt she was at the same uni as me. i didn't knwo this till she mentioned it

As we've been chatting. I've found my old feelings for her resurfacing and I've said to her we should meet up on campus when i get back to uni next week.

The question I've really got is how do I approach this?

I'm a lot more confident than I used to be and I was thinking of after meeting up with her next week, I should ask her if she's up for a night out somewhere. I go to a lot of gigs and I've already said she should come down and catch a gig near where I live some time (i live about 60 miles from where I go to uni). She seemed up for that.

Am I wrong in how I'm seeing this? Is she into me too, or is it just a normal NT reaction to having an old friend come back into their life?
(At the same time, although we've never talked about it, I'm not entirely sure she's NT. I see a lot of traits in the way she talks and behaves that I see in myself, so she may well be an Aspie too.)

Also, how soon after getting to know her again is too soon to ask her out?

Help so confused

Last edited by rj251 on 19 Apr 2012, 12:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

See how it goes and if you really thinks she feels the same way, tell her.

Is she Aspie or neurotypical?

I don't know, having never asked her.

She seems to have a few Aspie traits, although I'm only going off what I recognize from myself.

She's incredibly shy around new people, or even people she knows, but not very well. But then when she's with people she knows well she frequently gets hyper and overexcited over seemingly obscure things and blurts out stuff that's not entirely appropriate, which I do too. She also has very minor speaking difficulties.

If she's not Aspie, then I think something else might be going on. I hope she's Aspie, because I've always wanted to be with an Aspie girl, but tbh I really don't know

What is she like with you? I'd spend a bit more time with her first.

Can I spend some time with her, first?

She's random and hyper and seems quite confident around me, so it show's she's comfortable around me.

That was kind of my plan, to hang around with and talk to her more, then try and gauge whether or not it's a good idea to ask her out. My question was mainly, am I getting too excited about this too soon, letting my feelings for her make me read more into this than is actually there?

I'm asking because i have a really bad habit of getting over excited and getting ahead of myself when I like someone



Haha, sorry but she's the first girl I've like since splitting up with my fiance. If anyone's going to do the time spending, it's me

Just hang out with her and see how everything goes. You'll be able to tell more once you interact with her. Maybe even ask to go out again afterward, and see if she agrees and is happy to.

Would you be content with a friendship is a relationship was off the table? If so I think you can use the "let it grow" approach. If not, than I think you should be upfront with your intentions because it really sucks when a guy acts like your friend and then totally ignores you or is angry when you don't want to have sex with them.
As John Green would say "use your words" if you want to know if she's into you, ask.