How to I start to get a girlfriend

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I'm a senior in high school. I really want to find a girlfriend and need some advice. I want to find one before the end of school.

I don't have many friends. There are 2 girls I'm interested in now. I don't know if they're interested in me. I'm friends with them on Facebook. I sent them private messages on Facebook saying things like, "It's been awhile, what new.." but they never answer.

Everyday I'm on Facebook, they're never on for live chat.

Can you give me some help?

Move on.

First, don't listen to trolls.

You get girlfriends the same way you make regular friends: Be someone people like to hang out with. And needless to say, there's no way I can sum that up in a single post, but even if I could, the most important thing you can do is to be where the people are and practice. Social skills are like languages, you learn best by immersion, even if it's scary at first. Talk to girls, talk to guys, talk to old people, talk to kids, talk to anybody who will listen, and then LISTEN to what they have to say in return, and be interested.

As for these girls you already know, well, just remember that knowing when a girl is into you is something men are bad at in general, and aspie men are REALLY bad at. But somehow, they ALWAYS know when you are into them. Find a guy or girl you trust who knows the girl too, and ask if it's something worth pursuing.

He didn't receive a reply, there's a hint there. I'm not trolling and I don't appreciate the insinuation that I am.

Here is my answer to your question.

1. If you like a girl, smile at her (and say hi if you can) and see if she smiles back. If you can look her in the eyes for a couple of seconds that is a bonus. It is very important to pay attention to her facial clues to see if you should proceed. Did she seem receptive? Friendly? Do not stare at her from across the room. You can do this to as many girls as you want in a day to see what kind of response you get.
2. If she smiles back, then wait a day or two and do it again. If she doesn’t, you can try again but if you get no response, move on.
3. Once you get that second confirmation of friendliness. Then wait a day or two and try to think of a way to approach her. Try to think of something clever to say. Compliment her on something. If she is a good dresser compliment her on shoes, or necklace, or if you notice she did something different to her hair, tell her you like it.
If she said something interesting in class, comment on it, compliment, but be brief and smile.
Note what her response is. Was it positive? Does she say “thank you”, she will probably act a little shy, but all girls like to be complimented.
4. If she rolls her eyes, says something derogatory, or just walks away…move on to someone else.
5. If she is friendly, wait a day or two, (see how this is somewhat of a “dance” and this is a lot about timing, things need to progress slowly.) Try to sit or stand close to her in class or the café. Again no staring. Act calm. When you are feeling comfortable, think of something else clever to say. Is she reading a book? Ask her if it’s good. Let her answer without interruption. Maybe you can just ask a general question. Do you know when a paper is due? Did you watch XXXX on TV last night? Or try to be funny if you can. If she needs help with something offer a hand. Remember to smile but don’t stare. Again a few seconds of eye contact would be helpful. If you get nervous, just be polite. Say ” Thanks!” or “I got run” or “goodbye” but don’t just walk away. Offer a friendly wave goodbye and see if she is receptive. Does she wave back? So again, be sure to assess the situation. Is she smiling back? Friendly?
During this time do not Facebook her, stare at her, or follow her around.
6. OK, so hopefully, things are progressing nicely and you have piqued her interest a bit. Test it out. Be in the same room with her or class. Is she glancing in your direction, trying to make eye contact or trying to start a conversation. If so, here is the real starting point. There is a possible connection to work off of.
7. Remember to let days pass in between attempts at approaching/ conversation. But if she comes to you always be courteous and a good listener. So what if your late for class?... she is more important. Pay attention to what seems important to her, what she likes, what makes her laugh, take notes if you need to. These are your keys to starting up conversations. Be especially receptive to opportunities she offers. If she says, “Do you want to get a soda?” DO NOT say no thanks I am not thirsty! She is trying to spend time with you so see the opportunity!
8. Once the two of you have a conversation for at least 5 minutes straight and she is showing positive facial expressions, smiling and friendliness, then you can ask her if she wants to do something. Have lunch together, go for coffee, go to the zoo, see a movie, go for a walk, remember HER interests are the key to this.
Remember give her space, put days between conversations and meetings. This will build up her comfort level. Make her want to get to know you. Tell her about your interests (briefly) and hopefully you will have some in common that you can draw on. Try to give her a nice compliment every time you talk but not about the same thing? What do you like about her? (No body parts!) ha-ha

Be sure you are well groomed and well dressed. Shower and shave, brush your teeth and use deodorant every day. You don’t have to be in the latest fashions but be sure your clothes are clean and they fit well.

I hope this is a good starting point for you. Of course not all girls will be compatible so you just need to keep trying. See what works and what doesn’t. Always access the situation and read her clues to whether she is positive and friendly before you move on. Remember lots of space and time. It’s like growing a garden, it takes time to blossom into something beautiful.

Be open to girls two to three years older than you are. That's the advice I wish someone would have given me when I was a young man. So, I give you this advice. Now, as soon as I say this, you might meet someone a year younger than yourself and the two of you connect on a number of levels and more power to you. But, before you meet someone, don't overlook slightly older women.

So maybe, recreational softball league, community theater, local politics . . .

Something you would enjoy doing anyway and it's a happy bonus if you happen to meet someone

Yes, I am in favor of expanding social skills and talking with a variety of people, with a couple of additions.

Keep walking, keep moving either literally or figuratively. Perhaps the mental image that you're a businessman, things are going well, you're in a reasonably good mood, you just don't have a whole lot of time.

I think probably all of us, both those of us on the spectrum and quote "normal" people (and no such thing as normal anyway! ) have an internal censor where we quickly review something before we say it. I have had some success making a conscious effort to turn down my internal censor so that the default setting is that it's okay to go ahead and say it, unless it clearly jumps out at me as inappropriate.

And I try and lightly scan and take in the entire eye slit area (including muscles around the eye).

I would suggest trying to assess your strengths & weaknesses & then try to figure out a method/approach that will work with that. For example I really suck at noticing body language(I have a rare low vision disorder so trying to train myself would be alot more difficult for me than the average typical Aspie) & I'm also extremely blunt(I'm trying to learn better but it's difficult) & I'm kind of awkward with lots of things so typical approach that some guys do like going up to a girl & asking her out won't work for me sense I'd make bad 1st impressions. I'm a good friend thou so I tried just being friends with woman a while before & then making the move for more after i became attracted to them & we seemed to get along well as friends. It screwed up our friendship because they never had any interest in being anything more probably because they were not attracted to me for various reasons. Only way I found girlfriends was by posting about things online a lot. I tend to express myself a lot better by typing than by talking & my positive characteristics shine through a lot better online. Instead of worrying about what works for lots of people & trying to adapt yourself to make it work; be open to trying different approaches.

Waiting several days is not a hard and fast rule but more of a general guideline, and that's often the tricky part. It's a ping-ponging back-and-forth process. Take it medium step by medium step (other people may be way past this, but I have found this very helpful).

And sometimes it's the small things I like about a person. This one lady friend pointed out these antique metal fish from the 1960s she had. I usually don't particularly go for antiques, but I like the way she described them. So, be open to appreciating small things about her. And, as you reveal yourself in medium stages to her, be open to her appreciating small things about you, too.

And when you begin forming a relationship, remember to take the alone time you need for yourself for emotionally processing and/or other needs. For example, I like to take long walks and also sometimes privately write in the library and other quasi-public places.

Oh yes, this. Definitely. Guys are often clueless when a girl is into you or not, and Aspie men are EXTREMELY bad at it. I have misread friendliness as interest before, even when it looked to me like she was really keen. Women seem to have more intuitive social awareness than men, so they seem to ALWAYS know when you like them.