HAVING TROUBLES LOVING MYSELF

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So from the title you know what this is about. I am a new member here and recently discovered a problem I have within though this website. I am a person who has a VERY HARD time loving myself. This mean I am a very dependent person. I love to be around people and have TONS of attention. My most valuable attention is from my boyfirend, but he can't always be there of course. I wouldnt say I don't like to be alone because sometimes I just get so stressed or annoyed all I want to be is locked up in my room relaxing. But for the most part I HATE being alone and I am not independent. I can't live without a boyfirend. I hate being alone and always find it boring. I fear long periods of time I have to be alone. Take this week for example: none of my friends can hang out or my boyfriend won't see me until Sunday may 13, so this week will go by painfully slow and I am hating and not liking forward to this week. Being alone connects with being bored and not fun. If I could have it my way all the time I would be with my boyfirend every second of the day but that can't happen obviously. How can I start loving being with myself and not regretting it. I do activities sometimes which helps... But is never enough. I am also very Insucrue.

Your story sounds pretty similar to most of the relationship-obsessed individuals I have met. I can't really give much advice because I've never been in a relationship myself. You've certainly got an obsession though, and it might pass or it might not. The feelings are mostly out of your control.

Don't downplay solo-activities . I see it too often. Some people assume someone goes to their room or walks alone so they can relax and do nothing. That's one way of looking at it but I prefer to think of it as soul searching and experiencing life. You just don't think about it like that since you sound like you have no obsessions beyond your boyfriend.

No offense, but this is one reason why it's so nice being on the spectrum. We CHERISH our times alone. We YEARN for it. We're away from the madding crowd and it suits us just fine. I hope your "boring" weeks flies by quickly.

I agree with the other posters. I would like to add that you need to find ways to occupy and distract yourself that don't require your friends or your boy friend.

- Exercise. It generates mood boosting endorphins.

- Read funny stories and watch funny shows. That also generates endorphins.

- Listen and/or play music. This can be very mood boosting, and very soothing.

- Eat healthy and enough of it. A healthy diet will improve your immune system and mood. When people starve themselves they get tired, cranky, and are more prone to illness. Also, the skeleton look is hideous.

- Get plenty of rest, or you will be tired, cranky, and more prone to being ill. Yes, just like eating poorly.

- Volunteer. There are people out there who are worse off than we are, and who would appreciate the help. Also, it's a good way to meet people.

- Take courses either in person or online. Some of the online courses are free, and the in person classes are a good way to meet people.

- Join a club or take up a hobby. Both are good ways to keep occupied, and to meet people.

- Get involved in community activities. Attend town meetings, go to events held at the local libraries, fairs, local art shows, local sporting events, and attend and/or participate in local theater groups.

Try one of these or find your own method of keeping occupied.

I can understand this feeling of being alone can be rather hard to occupy yourself.
I recommend what questor has listed and 1 other thing which is reading and not just funny ones. It can be any book that can take your mind off of things.
Another thing I do personally is watch a lot of comedy.

I agree with a lot of the posts above. Why not get a hobby? Go do something you've always wanted to do. Learn to climb rocks or something (I would never do that, but just throwing it out there).

It's really hard on a relationship when one person cannot make one's self happy. I heard this somewhere: a healthy relationship is like a hug. If both people are standing far enough apart, on their own feet, then they will be able to have a nice hug. But if one of them is too close, or is not standing on their feet, suddenly it becomes a lopsided thing.

There is nothing wrong with your feelings. But try to get a hobby or develop other friendships so you can find something to sustain your life besides another person.

Maybe practice giving yourself a pat on the back when you listen to your friends and give them attention. Practice becoming more attentive, that will make your friends happier, which should be a goal in any friendship. Why don't you look in the mirror and tell yourself you've done a good job, and you're proud, when you do something on your own.

Oh also, I'm not judging you. I also tend to get obsessed with relationships. It was especially hard when I was younger and hadn't been in many. But ultimately, it's hard work to learn to love yourself and to develop a more independent state of being, but it's well worth it! You can do it. You're already taking first steps by addressing this "problem" and writing about it here.

Eugh. I remember once I stayed up ALL night thinking about a guy who I barely knew. I mean all night. I only slept for an hour, and when I did I dreamed about him. Sigh. And then, when my wishes were all granted and we were in a committed R, I ended up finding out he was abusive! Go figure! IMO, it's best to be able to find happiness in yourself as well as with another. And you can do it.

Thanks to every one that's commented. I still don't enjoy being with myself and connect that with loneliness and boredom. Being alone makes me feel like no one cares about me or loves me. I have done a couple of suggestions you guys have poste though.. I eat healthy, drink plenty of water but I don't excerise. I watch videos all the time when I am alone but after the movie is over than I feel crappy agian! I don't need to take classes online because I go to school. I have a natural HATE for school and ship it at any costs. School is connected with a prision to me! I do hobbies like swimming (which I don't like to do alone) and horseback riding which I enjoy 2 times a week!! !! I wish I could go more but it's highly expensive. I HATE READING. Never enjoyed it. Never will. I am a very lazy person but with laziness come being alone something I hate dealing with :/