Am I too picky?/Not a good dating pool.

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Well, I'm looking for love in good ol' Fairfax Station, and I'm kind of stuck in a rut. I really can't seem to find anyone to date around here! (I'm working on getting my driver's license, so I might be able to go places on my own in the near future.) I usually end up at Fair Oaks Mall when I'm out with my sisters, and I go to the WOodbridge Campus of NoVA. However, no one (Guys or Girls!) seems very appealing to me when I go out, and I know I have a sex drive, but I might just have a bad bout of Toonphilia (Attraction to Cartoon Characters). I've been attracted to real people before, but usually, they hurt my feelings, badly. And usually, I won't know how to go about asking to hang out sometime and making sure I follow through.

And then, there's the fact that I seem to be ultrapicky. I want a guy (or girl) who's childish and fun sometimes, but supportive and mature at others. Pleasant to look at, and won't touch me when I don't want to be. And preferably, they would be nerdy like me.


Help?

Have you tried looking on this forum? Look at the relationship and other threads or, hell, even at some of the long-standing members. Have you tried, for example, having a look at the members' list of special interests here (http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt197426.html)?

Thanks Tequila. I just posted and browsed that thread.

Lucky, I think your ideal guy sounds pretty nice. But consider that you might find chemistry with a guy who doesn't fit that description entirely. Also, make sure you get to know the guy pretty well before you decide whether or not he's "perfect." Those qualities you list are nice, but they can be mimicked, hiding a not-so-nice person behind them. It's a good idea to get to know whoever you become interested in, because people aren't like cartoon characters--they're either much better or much worse. (IDK, MAYBE some people are like cartoon characters-- i don't want to make too bold of a statement).

I used to be ultra-picky (and still am), but then I met this perfect guy who seemed to be everything I wanted. And it turns out he wasn't. It's much more important to find a real, nice person you have chemistry with than a fake person who seems to adhere to your ideal. And you really have to get to know a person before you can tell who they are inside, IMO.

But I also have a hard time meeting people my age, because I'm not really interested in a lot of the things people talk about (like TV or clothing, sports or ... cars). So I think Tequila's idea is good--connect with people who share your interests.

But I don't think you're too picky. I think it's a reasonable fantasy guy.

There's no being too picky, settling is the worst thing you can do relationship wise.

Hey

It might be a case of you've idolised the looks of cartoon characters so much that it has warped your perception on the attractiveness of real people (a lot of real women can't have Bakunyuu! and a lot of real women aren't as submissive / characterless as the ones found in some animes ).

How about going to cosplay conventions and stuff like that? It might be the way to bridge that gap between animated schmexi and real schmexi!

I think I was trying to say something more along the lines that someone might actually be what you want, even if you can't tell at first--because people do have other sides to themselves. So it could be that some of the guys/girls you're not that into are people who you would be attracted to, but you can't see these qualities without getting to know them a little. Conversely, someone might appear to have the desired qualities upon your first meeting them, yet they might not be that way deep down inside.

I'm saying this because I am ultrapicky about who I'm attracted to--so I just kind of expect myself to be immediately attracted to someone, when in reality I don't even know who that person is yet. I've learned that it's actually not that great to be immediately attracted to someone because it means that I am attracted to my image of them, since I don't know who they truly are yet.

I don't think you're ultrapicky for what you want, but maybe you are being too picky about dismissing people who you don't know very well. I know I did this for a long time--and then, like I said, when I met someone who immediately fulfilled my fantasy of the right guy--he turned out to be exactly that, just a fantasy.

You sound really nice, and we might be compatible, but I'm in Canada.

I like zoology, genetics, languages, psychology, music and animals. I'm looking for the same qualities in a person that you are; I'm pretty sure I fit what you said here:

You might be socializing in the wrong places, you aren't likely to find someone with those special interests unless you go to clubs or groups that are specialized or geared towards them.

i don't think that very many people find someone to date when they are wandering around a mall. it seems to work better (in some cases) to be engaged in an activity or hobby or group or something.

i don't know if you are too picky. your title indicates one thing, then you listed your requirements to seem as open as possible. i doubt that your requirements are that loose if you feel you might be picky. we need to know who you are looking for before we can tell you if you are picky.

for example, do these things matter (and to what degree)?

-age
-weight/build
-height
-hair/eye colour
-religion
-race
-education
-job
-personality
-drivers' license
-etc

Well, for those sort of things, I do have some form of preferences

-age: Somewhere around my age (I'm 20) Between 18-27 is good
-weight/build: As long as they're not dangerously over/underweight, I'm fine
-height: I'm fine with anything
-hair/eye colour: I'm actually more picky about length and texture (Medium-Short to Long, Pin straight to shaggy-wavy) then I am about actual color of hair. And eyes are all lovely.
-religion: As long as they're not a zealot, I'm fine
-race: I do prefer some races to others, but over all, not that important
-education: I'd prefer it if they graduated highschool, at least. But as long as they're intellegent enough to keep up with me, I'm fine
-job: If they're in school, I understand not having a job. If they're living with their parents eating potato chips and playing Call of Duty all day with no ambition towards the future, then no.
-personality: Important, especially when wanting someone with a high tolerance of harmless shenanigans.
-drivers' license: Pretty important, since I don't have mine yet and I don't want it to be like my first (and only) boyfriend where he had to get his mom to drive him everywhere