Friendship with the opposite sex vs sexual selection.....

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This is from another thread:

hmmmmm, i think it depends on the person, maybe? i had a couple of male friends that i used to have dinner or a pint with, and they were careful never to point out attributes of women they found attractive.

but on the other hand, many years ago i had male friends who did that quite often. i was always slightly offended because i didn't like feeling like they were prowling when they were hanging out with me. also, it bugged me because my dad used to do that, so i think i had some lingering distaste about it. or maybe it is actually rude? i don't think i really know.

^ Personally I think it's rude and it shows lack of consideration, it always really hindered my motivation to go on in such friendships.

I usually never show a reaction but at times I countered this rudeness with similar rudeness, i always found that fighting fire with fire is the best approach in dealing with bullies and rude/inconsiderate people, politeness never worked with me and often led to more rudeness. Funny that they always react to my comebacks.

ie. if a fat girl referring to small stature guys as yucky, i would slam her back by making a such comment on fat girls, she reacts and then i would say something like "didn't you say the same about the [trait] guys?" - they always shut up and mumble at that.


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The ultimate rudeness I faced of this kind:

I was checking on an injured friend of mine , i was in her salon, she, her brother, her two sons were there and her best friend (who happens to be fat). She had often expressed her dislike of skinny guys but i was ok with it until this incident (I was thinner back then too).

Suddenly, out of the blue, she (her friend) made a 'funny' comment in front of everyone.

Her: "You know, when I look at you I had to do this ( o).(o ) so I can see you"

Everyone laughed out lout.

Me: :- ) (for seconds).

Her: *repeated the eye expression.*

Me: :- D

Me: "It's funny, because I have to do this (0 ).( 0) so I can see you whole as well"

Everyone else got shocked and hysterically laughed afterward, except her.

Me"...otherwise I am gonna see a wall!"


She got upset but it didn't ruin our friendship, however she never made such comments on my body type anymore since then.

Yeh, I can't stand hairy men...

Ewwww!!

I think it's just pushing someone to see how much they can take.

Another thing could be is that they're just too embarrassed to tell you they fancy you, so they come out with slightly insulting reasons why they don't. Like how boys insult girls at school when they fancy them. I think girls do the same. I used to.

As for the skinniness thing, I've been guilty of that. I don't think most people realise how insulting it is to make out another person's skinniness. The time I realised it was insulting, was when I said my friend could eat this huge pizza and still stay slim, and the room went silent.

Mmm, bacon pizza.

I do see some relation, Boo. Generally some people do put their preferred gender into the friend zone if they seem them as "lesser" or "not their type". I wouldn't stand for anyone who told me to my face though that they find guys that look like me hideous or unattractive. A person talking about their preferences though is a bit different if you ask me, as everyone has different tastes. It's when they diss on your look it's wrong, good friends don't do that.

I dunno, I will say though that I never sought to gain a female friend.. it just sort of happens.. when other things don't happen. Sometimes we can "Just be friends" and other times it's to awkward and we never talk again.

Honestly I kind of prefer the "never talk again" thing.. since then I don't have to listen to them insufferably trying to hook me up with their less attractive friends.. all the while conveniently sidestepping the fact the only reason I'm friends with them is that I asked them out.. It's almost like a subtle put down "well you aren't good enough for *ME* but you are good enough for my chunky friend I take out with me to make me look better ".