My crush doesn't want me.

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Any fan of my notorious posts knows that I have (or more precisely, had) a crush on an Aspie girl named Rachel. She didn't want anything to do with me, and was creeped out whenever she saw me. Well, I've got my answer, proof. You see, she and two of her friends share a journal they call a Desu Note. I asked one of the friends, who was currently in possession of it, if I could have a look. Peering through, my suspicions were confirmed. Rachel was creeped out by me. She called me a gossip spreader, and said that a lot of students were "shipping" us. She said she didn't want a relationship, and that she'd make a terrible girlfriend.

Fine, Rachel.
So be it.

If you want a vision of my relationship future, imagine my heart being played with and crushed by a blonde, greedy Serbian prostitute.

You're only 18. It gets easier once you've passed 20.

What are you laughing at?

It sounds like your crush just doesn't find herself wanting to be a girlfriend, at this point in her life anyway. It doesn't mean you're not a lovely person. I doubt a Serbian prostitute will have the role you've decided they will have in your life.

You know, I think my favorite pornstar is Serbian...or is she from Bulgaria? I can never remember.

Anyway, from what you read in the journal, I'd say that part of the problem is that she doesn't feel ready, like CloudLayer said. And hey, at least now you know for sure how she feels, so you have that (I wish one of my high school crushes had flat out rejected me). Chin up old man, there will be others, and the pain will fade in time.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBK6Z4aZgDU[/youtube]

Yeah, those things happen. Oh well. I feel that song is about that, though. I like that song, hope it's your type of music and cheers you up somewhat.

Listen, you could have had a speedboat that would have turned all rickety and would have been a murder to service and look after it but...

...think of it another way. You're free. How would you have liked it if she had said yes and you would have suffered years of psychological abuse? You simply don't know these things.

Try not to be too bitter. Fair enough, get upset, but afterwards, pick yourself up and march on.

Yeah, and the next thing you know, Ms. Nice will have me whacked for some coke.

Snide comment is snide.

Yes, this is what I would like to know, too.

Have you acted in a way to provoke these words from her? Bearing in mind that they were not actually intended for you. Which, by the way, sets my alarm bells off.

You read something of hers that was private and not intended for you. At this point I'm not sure if I wouldn't be a little creeped out by you as well. This is not to be harsh — I'm just saying, you might need to learn a little more about what is appropriate and what is not.

Okay, wow. Out of curiosity, I've had a look at these "notorious posts" of yours.

I am unsurprised by her reaction.

Personally I think you should verbally confront her about the words in her diary, challenge her on it and be assertive, that will soon show her that you are not someone that takes abuse.

If she's willing to the stab you in the back, she should be willing to stab you in the front, do you really want someone who is a gossiper?