Am I Sick?

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Hopefully this will be the last posts on the subject I will have to make in regards to females.

By now everyone knows who I am and my struggles so no sense of repeating.

Okay so remember the girl who told me I was funny, the one I had my eye on since last year, well I never approached her again. Their were a few opportunities, in the library a couple times, in the cafe once or twice.

So I let it go again and I am starting to feel a deranged thought that I am doing this on purpose. I think I'm sick...it's almost like I enjoy failing or failing to try so I have something to complain about, something to come on here and post about. You know the pursuit of something I can't have keeps me alive, honestly I don't know.

I don't know if it's that or I am sick in another way as in just not being able to approach someone. For example, when I saw the girl on one of the computers on the other end of the small 2nd floor room of the library, I basically pretended not to see her and sat down and did my own business. I'm sure she glanced when I walked in to see me but I couldn't tell if she looked afterwards or not. It's like I saw her, told myself to say something and then something locked in my brain and I just sat down.

So I don't know what it is, I don't know if I have small nervous/mental breakdowns, I'm too scared to try, or I don't know how to crack my shell but it's depressing. I have an issue and I feel sick so I don't know how, but someone try to help.

It may be for you like it was for me for awhile. Only part of me wanted a relationship, the other part knew I needed to be alone My mind would come up with all kinds of reasons why I should be single and on my own; yet I was still lonely. It was a matter of getting my mental house in order before I really felt like I was ready to start a relationship.

I know that feeling... When I was in college (undergrad), I had major anxiety when it came to women. I let all my opportunities slip away and I didn't quite understand why I was doing it. Maybe deep down, I felt it couldn't be real, or that I didn't deserve for it to be... Anyway, I think the important thing to realize is that our thoughts and approaches change as we continue to grow and experience life. As long as you continue to examine your own thinking and behaviors as you have in this post, and as long as you continue to learn from your failures... Over time, your mindset will change. As will your results.

You are not sick. A lot of people, especially socially awkward people, have a hard time overcoming their fears to approach. Also, I think that if you finally get up the courage and fail then your dreams become more reality....for some that is hard to accept. However, as the famous saying goes..."practice makes perfect"

Would you like a Wowwipop from the Doctor?
Yeah in all seriousness a lot of us do think chances will keep passing by but we still strive because we want to make something of ourselves.
I believe that looking from this side you seem to fear rejection and trust me I know that since I never dumped anyone.
Some miraculous moment of fortune happened to me as I talked to one individual which was that I was keeping a conversation going.