Why do I only get friendship?

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Is it possible that because I act as a good friend that in a way that a lot of women I know don't feel that they should have to get too close and that they find that being more than that would feel "creepy" in their terms of what they want.
Yet they seem to say that whole cliche of you'll find the right person. Well I'd tell them to look at a lot of the people here who are unhappy with not being in a relationship and varying in many levels of love.
I hate the cliche of finding the right person since I don't base love on luck. I base it on knowing your partner well.

My oldest sister has many male friends and few dates, while my brother in law has always had mostly female friends, and didn't date that much before meeting my other sister through the first ...

I honestly think my sister (the un-married one) simply projects a nice friend vibe, but little in the way of flirting or sexy. She is so easily one of the guys, that even though she is thin and athletic and not unattractive, that her womanhood just doesn't pop out at them. She isn't a girly girly at all - but she does do Star Trek conventions. And, well, compatibility is tough for her - she is easily annoyed by certain things people do, and has many annoying habits of her own. I still hope to find someone for her, though ...

Point being, you probably project more like a friend, and once you are in that box it can be tough to get out of it.

Remember that all these female friends have friends and or sisters.

My husband was good friends with my younger sister, who eventually introduced him to me.

My younger sister's husband was good friends with my older sister, who eventually introduced him to my younger sister.

I have lots of good things to say about men and women being just friends

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 08 May 2012, 2:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sounds to me like you've got a classic case of "nice guy" syndrome. Don't befriend someone just because you're attracted to her an expect that being her friend will make her want to get with you.

Love isn't based soley on luck. You need to go out and try to find people who are attracted to you, and not just friendly with you.

That's the problem with Asperger's syndrome. You shouldn't call someone a “nice guy” (in deragatory sense) unless they've said anything sexist or passive-agressive, though...

Hold on a minute though...
You kind of have to know the person before you become in a relationship. How can you love someone you don't know and fall for them at only one little moment? I don't necessarily befriend women... but I can see why that would be plausible here.
So you can't befriend a girl and you can't expect a girl to love you straight away at just one meeting?

Perhaps what is meant that the guy comes across as so friendly and lacking in sexual spice or spark that he is rejected altogether as a boyfriend and is considered like a friend or brother. Just sayin'...

There's a Mortal Kombat joke in here somewhere ^_^

Some people just click straight away, then that leads to a relationship within days, which makes the "honeymoon period" more dangerous/fun because neither party really knows anything about the other. Some times it works, sometimes it doesn't. Different people go about dating in different ways.




Most people seem to not be in relationships because all they want to do is get laid... Just saying

That's why dating is more complicated today than 30 years ago. Today people rush into relationships with people they don't know and people not comfortable with this are forced to adapt to it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDp-OieLGik[/youtube]

Kevin and Perry are well funny, Harry Enfield is a funny chap

I know it's not very sophisticated but I don't feel in a very sophisticated mood this evening.

http://thecollegecrush.com/2011/12/pros ... guys-girl/

^ i know it's a case of a female with many many males friend but I can still relate....

Yeah, 1982 was a simpler, more elegant time.
I those of us you weren't present (alive) very far back into the past need to remember that the idea we have of those periods probably has had a lot of creative licence and selective editing applied.
I don't think anyone is being forced to do anything. I've never jumped into a relationship with a stranger and that hasn't prevented me from dating.
It's possible that you're just not the guy these girls you're befriending are interested in dating.
Finding the right person I think is less about luck and more about compatibility. You could be really into someone but if they're not into you, they aren't the right person.
There are levels of familiarity between friends and strangers.

Well, here's something funny and sad that I've always personally noticed in the only-female groups. I had few female-only buddies groups during my life and I've witnessed that many times, what's funny that I only figured it out why it happens only very recently, I am not sure if it's common in other cultures.

To make understand this phenomena, imagine this scenario:

Me with female buddies in the university courtyard planning for an outing for the weekend.

Me: "Why don't we take X with us? " (X is a friendly guy who's fun around - he's also handsome)
One of them: "Nooo he's too hot, still too early for that"
Me: and so?"

This often happened, and what's really funny that it happened yesterday again we were planning for an upcoming karaoke Saturday, and i suggested to take a guy with us ,whom one of the girls has the hots for, in fact they all have the hots for i believe, and her response was similar to above, so they all dismissed my suggestion.

Can you conclude what's happening here on your own?

When some girl Y of the group has a crush toward some guy X, they (the group of girls) never include into the group, at least not before X asks Y out and become a couple. girls often tell their female friends (and their male only-forever-friends) about their crushes.

Not only that, sometimes i suggested several guys (typically the 'hot' guys) and they would react in a way "ohh, no... not those guys" with a sigh or something like that, so it's not always about a specific strong crush but they usually how they react when it comes to guys they find them hot.

A girl of the group usually "pre-picks"a guy that she wishes to date and her female friends will help him thro plots/tricks/help in order to make that guy talks to her and eventually asking her out, when this happens, the guy X would start hanging out with the group as the Y's boyfriend.

Which MEANS (and here's the bad news for you), if you are a guy and you are already a friend member within a group of female then you are most likely not viewed as hot-material or dating-material by any female of that group, that's because you were never viewed as such by any of them before becoming friend with them.

So if you already a single male member of a female-dominated group then your chances with the single females within that group is ....low.


Try to get some flashbacks from school, remember the few guys who were friend of a female-only groups. Can't you recall a trend? they're usually the guys who are fat, dork-looknig, socially inep, weird or effeminated. Have you ever wondered why's that? I tell you, because those guys aren't desired by females in general and hence they have access to enter female circles. Have you ever wondered why it' snever the hot-popular guy who's the male friend of the group?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 08 May 2012, 4:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You were trying to be a girls guy?

No, but i can relate to some of the consequences of becoming a girls' guy in any female-group.

anyways, read my longer post, it's more useful for you rcase.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 08 May 2012, 4:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.