Dumped after 4 (great) dates, why?

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Recently I posted a topic in this section ("I've been asked out, wooohoooo"was the title) about a girl who asked me out, out of the blue. The first date went great and lasted for 5 hours (!). The second date was even greater, and we made out. She immediately texted me after the second date, asking me to come over to her house that week, because she was home alone. So I went over to her place and we had another great date.
Last week, on Friday, we dated again, and it was really nice. Then, at the end of the date, I asked her if she wanted to see me again.
Then, suddenly, she said:
'I don't know.' I asked her:
'Why?'
'I don't know if this (i.e: our evolving relationship) is the way it's supposed to go.'
I really did not see this coming, and I mumbled something about me calling her later that week and then I walked home.
I thought we were getting to know each other better and better, and I really enjoyed spending time with her, and I thought she enjoyed it too. I told her I had AS on the third date, and she did not seem to mind. I also told her I had no experience whatsoever on the girlfront.

Perhaps a NT woman could explain what I've done 'wrong'? Am I that bad at picking up clues, or is this a normal way of telling someone you are not interested? Is it possible she lost interest because of my lack of experience and my AS?
And what does her response mean ?

Love,
JosefK

Sorry to say it but I don't think she quite understands what AS is (it gets a lot of ignorance and bad reporting in the media e.g. crimes somehow related to the fact the criminals have Asperger's). So on the 3rd date, she played it out, went on another to make it look like it wasn't about the AS. Then after this 4th date felt it was safe to break things off.

It's not her fault it's not your fault. I'm sure she is a lovely person and it might be better if you have someone who's a bit more understanding or open minded about things.

maybe she likes you alot but you just don't get her juices flowing.

You mean ; no (sexual) arousal?

There is THAT possibility as well.
OP, did you engage in any sexual activity on the 3rd or 4th date? Did your date make any signals but nothing happened or progressed between you two? Like, were all the dates pretty much the same I mean.
It could be a physical chemistry thing (or some peoples' definition of a spark).

She probably saw "Adam" then thought, "Oh no! I'm dating a man-boy?" Then she probably googled AS and said to herself, "I'm outta here!" I think if I ever started dating again I might probably look for an aspie or someone just as incredibly shy as me.

No we did not engage in any sexual activity, and I really don't know if she had any 'plans' . In fact, she just called me , telling me she found me sweet and nice, but that she did not have that romantic 'spark'. So, my second question is: I'd really like to be friends with her, because we have a lot in common. Could I just (bluntly) ask her if she wants to be (platonic) friends with me ? (In fact, I have two other pleasant platonic friendships, and am quite 'experienced' in that area, hahah ; ) ) Or would she reject that too?

Love,
Josef K

(P.S: I do not mean to sound whiney, or incredibly insecure, but I do not have much experience in this area)

@redrobin62 : I saw Adam too, really enjoyed it, but I am vastly different compared to Adam, haha

I think you kinda freaked her out a bit. Not with the AS itself, but I feel there wasn't any need to have told her about it. Not to hide it or anything, it's that you announcing it like that is sort of saying you're more than just dating and it was only three dates in. I'm guessing she felt a bit overwhelmed and gradually went off the idea of dating you and over the next two dates she made up her mind and built herself up into telling the truth.

@ ZX_SpectrumDisorder : She asked me why I had such a good memory for certain things, and then I told her the truth, that it was because of my AS. And because of AS, I find it hard not to tell the truth.

But we really had friendly chemistry, do you think that, if I asked her if she wanted to be just friends with me, she'd accept it?

To all guys here,

Guys, guys, guys......! !!

Stop disclosing this AS thing, keep it all to yourselves, they really don't need to know about your 'secret' "Syndrome" (personally I no longer much believe in AS' scientific validity - but that's another long story) unless if you failed and you want to justify your behavior (even tho that would sound pathetic)

FOUR dates, this only means that things were going well, the OP was doing well, he didn't need to justify anything, but HE ruined with this AS disclosing thing.


You better to tell them you're introvert or not so socially gifted rather than telling something so scary, weird and psycho--sounded thing like ASPERGER SYNDROME.


I mean, fcuk, just look how it sounds....like "AZUBURGER SYNDROME".... spooky.

Stop.disclosing.it.to.girls.

I'd go with Boo's suggestion. I never shared I had "problems" before I was diagnosed, I never shared I had AS after I was diagnosed on dates, and probably never will in that phase. Unfortunately there's too much BS out there being spread about AS and people don't get it, or fear what others will think if you know or date someone with AS.

Sometimes people don't want to see us anymore, it's not always something we did, people are complicated and we don't always get to know why they make the choices they do.
If the AS disclosure is what shook her, I'd posit it's likely it was the intimacy of a 'revelation' at an early stage in the relationship that was off putting, not the AS itself.
I tend to wear my Autism on my sleeve because I'm an activist and a blogger and I work with autism education, there would be no way for me to get close to someone and hide all these things I'm passionate about. I don't hide it, or 'admit it', I own it and treat it like a positive.
If being "out" has affected me negatively dating wise I haven't noticed it.

I don't think the AS thing caused it, but I wouldn't tell that except on a need to know basis. I think that she likes the OP but just doesn't feel the attraction. She obviously likes him well enuogh to give it a chance and see if she can become attracted (which does happen) but it didn't.

I'd definately tell her that you want to be friends and stay friends with her. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com