How on Earth do you approach & talk to women?

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crmoore
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07 May 2012, 1:08 pm

I'm still stuck with the same problem I've had for as far back as my memory goes: having no freaking clue how to approach and talk to a woman that looks interesting. Even on OKC, I still can't bring myself to message a total stranger. Whoever came up with this social standard that guys had to be the ones to initiate the conversation first should be taken out back and shot.

Does anyone have any (and I do mean ANY) suggestions as to how to approach someone? I guess I'm willing to limit suggestions to online ideas since there's no way in hell I'll meet a woman in public, but I'll take any advice I can get.


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Joker
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07 May 2012, 1:13 pm

Just be yourself.



ValentineWiggin
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07 May 2012, 1:21 pm

I don't. :lol:
Maybe stop thinking of them as a different species?
How would you strike up conversation with a man, for instance? (If you were to.)
Appeal to:
something shared, whether interests, or an event or conversation you were both present for (so and so is sure getting antsy in that there thread- lulz!)
or something about them that seems interesting which you might initiate a dialogue about (I like your avatar- what's it from? Did you make it? Kewl!)


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MXH
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07 May 2012, 1:22 pm

wish i knew. ive tried all the advice ive heard and had nothing. 5 years of trying now. I decided this past weekend to give up approaching women. Already know how it will go so no point in bothering



Chummy
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07 May 2012, 1:22 pm

If you insist on online dating, find a site for people with disabillities... I know a site that is both for "normal" and "disabled" people though it is not in english.



DogsWithoutHorses
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07 May 2012, 1:23 pm

How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach.
Women aren't that scary or different.
What kind of approaches get you interested in a conversation?


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Last edited by DogsWithoutHorses on 07 May 2012, 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MXH
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07 May 2012, 1:23 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
I don't. :lol:
Maybe stop thinking of them as a different species?
How would you strike up conversation with a man, for instance? (If you were to.)
Appeal to:
something shared, whether interests, or an event or conversation you were both present for (so and so is sure getting antsy in that there thread- lulz!)
or something about them that seems interesting which you might initiate a dialogue about (I like your avatar- what's it from? Did you make it? Kewl!)


im quite sure the way you strike a conversation with a guy is not how you do with a girl (unless you like getting slapped)



Kurgan
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07 May 2012, 1:27 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach.


So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention?



ValentineWiggin
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07 May 2012, 1:28 pm

MXH wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
I don't. :lol:
Maybe stop thinking of them as a different species?
How would you strike up conversation with a man, for instance? (If you were to.)
Appeal to:
something shared, whether interests, or an event or conversation you were both present for (so and so is sure getting antsy in that there thread- lulz!)
or something about them that seems interesting which you might initiate a dialogue about (I like your avatar- what's it from? Did you make it? Kewl!)


im quite sure the way you strike a conversation with a guy is not how you do with a girl (unless you like getting slapped)


How is it different? You speak to people differently based on their sex?
DWH and I are both women, you know...


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of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


Last edited by ValentineWiggin on 07 May 2012, 1:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Zinia
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07 May 2012, 1:28 pm

I think one of the easiest ways to start a conversation with anyone is to ask them a question. If you also compliment them, then that's usually a good thing too as it's nice.

There's a thread in this forum called something like "date the person below you" (I can't remember the exact name)--and it's like an exercise for online dating. I just tried it and it's funny and hard, but it requires asking a fictional person a question.



DogsWithoutHorses
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07 May 2012, 1:28 pm

Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach.


So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention?


If they mention those interest on their profile, sure.
Not all men are into those things either.
If he has no interests in common with her he shouldn't be concerned about approaching her at all.


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MXH
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07 May 2012, 1:29 pm

Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach.


So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention?


Case in point. Most ways guys start convos are things most women will not care for. And are also things that would not make you come across as someone interested and rather some anoying passerby.



ValentineWiggin
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07 May 2012, 1:30 pm

MXH wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach.


So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention?


Case in point. Most ways guys start convos are things most women will not care for. And are also things that would not make you come across as someone interested and rather some anoying passerby.


Could you be any more ambiguous?
How do "most guys" start conversations?
How do "most women" prefer a conversation to be started?

~leans chin on hands~


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"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


ValentineWiggin
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07 May 2012, 1:32 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
If he has no interests in common with her he shouldn't be concerned about approaching her at all.


Exactly. Wondering up to random strangers is of course intimidating, for the same reason it's freaking weird:
you know absolutely nothing about the person on which to start a conversation.


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"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


Kurgan
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07 May 2012, 1:36 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach.


So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention?


If they mention those interest on their profile, sure.
Not all men are into those things either.
If he has no interests in common with her he shouldn't be concerned about approaching her at all.


Most men have few interests in common with their significant others, apart from a few key interests. Very few women are interested in soccer, cars, muscle building or video games, but most men are interested in one of these examples.

As far as online dating goes, whenever a girl hits on me, she hasn't even read my profile text.



DogsWithoutHorses
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07 May 2012, 1:37 pm

MXH wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
How would you start a conversation with a man? That could be a starting point for thinking about your approach.


So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention?


Case in point. Most ways guys start convos are things most women will not care for. And are also things that would not make you come across as someone interested and rather some anoying passerby.


Really, cause most guys in my life are into comic books and horror movies. Most girls in my life are into those things too.
If you were interested in making a new male friend would you open with a barrage of your ow interests or maybe make a comment on something you know you have in common or the potential friend is interested in.

Read the profile, talk about the common interest that prompted you to message her.
If you're only interested in her picture, and can't find anything on her profile you can talk about, just don't.


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If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don?t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth.