One thing women and society at large sees as weakness

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I just had another one of those experiences where I was talking to a girl in one of my classes, things were going ok, but I felt more and more like I was making myself look real bad. The more I think about it the more I'm starting to understand why its real easy for intelligence to be taken as weakness.

Here's what my problem is; even though I'm not socially scared I am very aware of my surroundings, I have that wide-eyed and wired appearance, come off like I'm processing things arround me, like I am real sensitive to my environment, sound real thoughtful in the things I say, and the more I think about it the more I realise the people who do that are the same people who get bulled like mad, have people calling em f**s all through school, and still get little in the way of respect from most people.

What it all really comes down to is the fact that people who are alpha don't need to do much of anything; they can let their minds rot away, don't need to be accutely aware of their surroundings, don't need to be the least bit sensitive, and above all don't need to put much work into social interaction. The second you start showing that your real aware, act too polite, seem to be to sharp or on top of things, your showing a lot of vigilance. That vigilance is usually taken that some's real low on the social food chain because they have to try - then again that's where intelligence fools people, you come off as a b---- even though that isn't the way it really is; your just being who you are (in the de facto truth of things it doesn't matter what the real truth of things is though; if it looks like weakness then it IS weakness by all intents and purposes).

Being that I'm as high-strung as I am IRL though it's gonna be real tough for me to tone that down but still, I think it's a good thing to know (that's why I'm sharing it here). I don't really know what the heck I'm supposed to do about that, I just know that SSRI's steal my personality and anything that calms me ends up stealing my spine to where I really start becomming a wimp in a lot of ways.

You know, you might be right. Isn't this a wonderful world we live in .

I had an NT friend who was kinda like that. He was smart, people wouldn't accept him, he got obsessed with trying to beat out his flaws (much like I always have been), he ended up doing a pretty good job.

You know what the really sad thing about him was? He got real good at guitar, got a real styloin flare to how he dressed...it wasn't enough. He got to be a pretty good dj and got the sports coupes he always wanted...it still didn't earn him any respect. It got to the point where society treateing him like the Aflak duck took him right over the edge of narcissism where he started feeling the need to talk about people behind their backs and it shoved me and a lot of people away. Even to this day he's still got such a void eating at him that that's he's always trying to find a new group of followers who'll think he's the coolest thing. Even before all that started going in him, we and a whole bunch of our friends went out to a local drinking resort island. He and his girlfriend got into an arguement and he ended up hitting her - that's how tragicallythe world ended up twisting his self-esteem and sense of self.

IMO that's gotta be hell. Of course I'd rather learn by those things rather than fall to em but I'm just seeing how society's great at destroying people, never choosing to understand em, and then when they start falling from the damage - treating em even more like monsters.

The world is that way. I've been lucky, my constant politeness to everyone and compassiona nd intelligence and inability to stand up for myself hasn't been a hindrance except for a few times in school, but it is a problem for many people who aren't "alphas" as you say.

When Jesus Christ, our Lord, was here on earth, He taught things that went against the "alphas" as you call them, and He admitted "if they persecuted Me, they will persecute you." Turning the other cheek? It's crazy to the world. Loving your enemies? It's madness to those who don't understand. There's a gulf, all right, a hole in each of our hearts, that only Jesus Christ can fill.

That's what the flesh is, this thing called human nature that makes us fall short of the glory of God. It oppresses the weak, but it also oppresses all those who appear weak, but who really aren't. Christ promises the "meek shall inherit the earth," but that won't happen till the millennial reign of Christ. He will come back and reign over this world a thousand years, and then there will be a new Heaven and a new Earth.

Till then? Till then, I've come to realize that even if you try to be like the world, you still won't "make it" in their eyes, becasue I think they can sense it, just like with your friend, techstepgenr8tion. We all try to conform to the world, instead of just being what God made us. It doesn't matter if the alphas don't like us - "they have their reward," the Bible says. Those who make a big deal of themselves, those who try to push the others down, those who act like they're so big, their reward is that this is the only slice of Heaven they will ever see, unless they humble themselves and become born again.

You know, your post makes me really understand something about myself. I was always trying to do what was right, always trying to be polite to others, to help others, whenever I could. And, there's part of me that thought maybe I was saved before I trusted Christ's forgiveness when I was 19 to save me and get me to Heaven, like maybe I could have prayed at 6 or 7 and forgotten about it.

But, I think what I was doing instead was just being me. It was like you describe, the part that couldn't be an alpha if my life depended on it. I prided myself on being intelligent, polite, nice to everyone, and just all-around a great guy. I could have been mistaken for a Christian before very easily, because I knew all the facts.

There are times since then I've failed. Times I've backslidden. Becasue I'm human.

But we all fight against the world. And, the purpose of life is to glorify God by surviving, by being who He made us to be, by letting Him into our hearts as Savior and into our lives for one purpose. To show how He can take any one of us and do somethign special.

It might not be what the world calls special. But, that doesn't matter. Those alphas, the people you describe that see you as something bad because you don'tmeasure up to their standard? THey have their reward in this world.

But, let me illustrate, and I'm sorry, but sometimes these things just come out like this. There was a family much loved by Jesus and His disciples, with 2 sisters, Mary and Martha, and their brother Lazarus. One day when they stopped by, Martha was busy preparing a huge feast. While Mary simply sat at Jesus' feet and listened, and learned, becasue she was the same way. She wasn't an Alpha. She valued learning, and knew in her heart this was God int he flesh, and He had all wisdom. Well, Martha came in, and complained that Mary wasn't helping her at all with the meal. Jesus turned to her and said that Mary had "chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."

Christ values those who are willing to be themselves, and simply come to Him and learn. He wants us to follow Him, and choose that "good part," so that we can have our reward in Heaven, not on earth.

I get tears in my eyes when I hear songs about Heaven, about how "this is not my home, I'm just a-passin' through." Becasue it really is true. We need to be looking to build our rewards somewhere else, and all those alphas need to either humble themselves and become born again, or if some are saved and aren't acting right, they need revival.

I have nothing against people expressing different religious views, but could you please cut down on the proselytising Snoopy. This is not an evangelical mission and personally I object to being told I need to be "saved" by anyone.

Dunc

Sorry, but I didn't try to tell you you needed saved. I was mostly talking about the "alphas" out there and how I know I'm saved, and what their real problem is.

But I can understand your misinterpreting it, becuase I misinterpret lots of things myself at times.

It's strange, though, how that one quirk is not respected by other Aspies when we are supposed to be able to understand each other in other respects because we are different. Maybe this in't the right planet for me either (That is, the right website.) Becasue my worldview and how I see things includes that, and that's part of who I am, just like everyone else, the way they see things is a part of who they are.

But, that goes back to what I said earlier, I guess.

I may have misinterpreted your post - I took it to mean that everyone needed to be saved, rather than a belief that those of us who are less socially dominant will get our reward in the next life if we are saved - still not an idea everyone would appreciate, but as a personal opinion I didn't mean to imply you shouldn't be allowed to express it. Its late and I'm tired - so I'm sorry if I upset you Snoopy, just didn't read it properly...

Then how would you present a Christian worldview to someone? To me, it seems to line up pretty much with the topic, and explains in great detail.

Maybe the problem is with me, though. I tend to feel like if one person doesn't like me, I need to leave, because I'm hurting one person. I feel like I've truly damaged you, because I exist, becasue of my worldview being so different than yours; tht's whent he AS really kicks in for me, I think, becuase I have always tried for so long not to hurt others, but to help. And now it's just so confusing in my head, because to help someone by explaining something is to hurt someone else,a nd that's when I just wnat to give up and quit a board like this.

Maybe I will, and just come back in a few months when I don't feel bad anymore. Becasue in the line of work I'm going into, I need to focus on helping others, and people will be coming to me for spiritual guidaance. Maybe this is why the only place I seem to feel safe and at peace is church. Becasuse there, I'm not in danger of my world view clashing with anyone else's. Wel, and talkign with mys tuffed ahnimals

Well, ont he bright side, I know now that I almost sure have AS, and I've found some ways to overcome some of my problems. I know now I'm not alone. And that's a great benefit, just to be able to understand myself and put a name and a reason to some things, and say that "this happens because of this in my life." Yeah, maybe a little hypersensitivity, too, I don't know. Actually, it sounds more like I'm just an extreme beta

So, it's been a great plce these few weeks. Thanks everyone.

Don't feel you have to agree with everyone - I don't, but we are all part of this community. I would hate for you to think I am trying to push you out for holding a different world view to me, I'm not - it would be odd if we all thought alike.

The solution is simple: get a girl who isn't shallow and who's not attracted to alpha males. Not all of us are, you know. There are girls in the world who do not care for big, heavily muscled guys who act like they're the hottest thing going.

Personally, I've always gone for brains and introversion, people who weren't exactly run-of-the-mill. If a girl acts that way towards you, just laugh to yourself at her- she's not the type you need anyway. What we need are mates who love us not in spite of our differences but because of them.

actually, ive never been fond of real smart girls. i enjoy the more simple, friendly conversations.
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