Dating Profile Advice (how to stand out from 95% of people)

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minervx
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15 May 2012, 9:36 am

I gave a user on here advice for his dating profile and he suggested I share it to everyone on WP.

If you can do all of these things, you separate yourself from 95% of people on dating sites.

Photos:
- Have more than 5 photos
- At least one should include your full body
- Make sure the pic isn't too blurry or with bad lighting
- No drunk red-cup party pictures
- (Women) Don't show too much cleavage
- (Men) No cellphone bathroom flexing pictures
- Don't take all of your pictures in your house. Take them outdoors doing things with people.
- Make sure your photo is recent, within a year or two.
- Make sure your photo isn't deceptive or at angles. If you are chubby, don't hide it.

Profile:
- Make your profile more than 250 words, but not over 1000 words.
- Don't self-flatter. Anyone can say they are smart, funny, kind. Instead of saying you are smart or funny, say something that is smart and funny. Even the most boring or dumb person could just say those things. Personality is supposed to exude from you, so you don't have to state it.
- Include some stuff that other profiles don't have (Examples: your life philosophy, one quality that you think is necessary for a relationship, what you are looking for in the other person, and a couple of beliefs/values you have that not necessarily everyone else has.)
- Don't make a laundry list of traits you don't like in the opposite sex. Don't make it appear as if you've been burned by previous people and that you are holding the other person to that standard.

Messaging:
- Don't send virtual "flirts/winks". Send them a real message.
- Don't send short generic one liners such as "Whatsup" or "Hey I like your profile". Most messages people get are like that and by giving a message that's actually meaningful. Say something unique and tailored to the other person which is based on what you read on their profile.
- Your message should be like a paragraph. Not one or two sentences. Not an essay.
- You don't need to end the message with "message me back if your interested". You can end it with an open-ended question.



ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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15 May 2012, 10:34 am

OK m8 awesome.



thedaywalker
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15 May 2012, 11:26 am

yeah i totaly agree you should follow a set of rules to make yourself stand out.



ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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15 May 2012, 12:29 pm

I really wanna play Super Cool Story Bro.



scubasteve
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15 May 2012, 12:46 pm

OP - Super good advice bro :)

JanuaryMan wrote:
I think that's pretty useful advice. I'd follow it but I guess a part of me wants women to see my flaws so they make an honest decision (even if that takes forever).


That's very noble. Keep in mind, however, that people may expect your profile to be an advertisement, and that they'll only find out the negative stuff once they meet you. (Because let's face it: Everyone embellishes a little bit on their dating profiles.) So my concern is that pointing out flaws on a profile may lead people to think it's worse than you've indicated. Although, it really isn't so much what you say, but how you say it, that determines if they get that impression.



minervx
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15 May 2012, 11:50 pm

Don't worry it's all cool. With all the PUA advice out there, it's perfectly reasonable to be skeptical of anyone who gives advice on this kind of stuff. It's all good, don't worry guys.

JanuaryMan wrote:
I think that's pretty useful advice. I'd follow it but I guess a part of me wants women to see my flaws so they make an honest decision (even if that takes forever).


Well, I think the main problem is that people DON'T show enough of themselves. Whether it is short profiles, short messages, only one pic. Meeting someone on the internet is a big deal to many people and that's why you have to make a more compelling case.

There's nothing wrong with showing some of your flaws early on, but you don't want to show too many of them. You can't just turn on the gusher and let your flaws out. People need to know you better before they can put them into context.

95% of people have boring/short profiles, weak/not enough photos, and/or they send short boring desperate-sounding or generic boilerplate messages. And they are so easy to pass up, considering the large number of people on these kinds of sites. If you step above most of the people who use these sites by not being lazy or cliche about your profile, then you are in a good position.



JanuaryMan
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15 May 2012, 11:55 pm

minervx wrote:
There's nothing wrong with showing some of your flaws early on, but you don't want to show too many of them. You can't just turn on the gusher and let your flaws out. People need to know you better before they can put them into context.


lol for real. A little humility can ease the tension off things and make you more approachable. Listing everything wrong with you like a nervous wreck will send em packing :lol: give them enough to show you're not infallible just not too much else it turns into baggage and worse. The idea there is something that can be or "needs" fixing is appealing to some, I suppose.



slovaksiren
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16 May 2012, 11:15 am

For guys, I would stay away from shirtless pictures, especially if you want a serious relationship since 90% of the time it just makes you look like a douche. If you must have a shirtless picture, don't use it for your main profile picture that people first see.

This is from the perspective of a girl.



ValentineWiggin
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16 May 2012, 2:33 pm

slovaksiren wrote:
For guys, I would stay away from shirtless pictures, especially if you want a serious relationship since 90% of the time it just makes you look like a douche. If you must have a shirtless picture, don't use it for your main profile picture that people first see.

This is from the perspective of a girl.



Aaaaaand THIS.


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Kurgan
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16 May 2012, 6:12 pm

I posted a bathroom flexing photo on a social networking site once. No picture has ever given me more attention, despite the fact that my hair was a mess and that I sported two weeks worth of stubble.



ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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16 May 2012, 6:22 pm

Only use photos of yourself on Ecstacy.



minervx
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16 May 2012, 6:38 pm

slovaksiren wrote:
For guys, I would stay away from shirtless pictures, especially if you want a serious relationship since 90% of the time it just makes you look like a douche. If you must have a shirtless picture, don't use it for your main profile picture that people first see.

This is from the perspective of a girl.


yea exactly. this can be included in the bathroom-flexing category.



1000Knives
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16 May 2012, 6:40 pm

ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote:
I really wanna play Super Cool Story Bro.
Image

I was planning to do all those things suggested, but I don't have any dating profiles. Meh whatever.



ValentineWiggin
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16 May 2012, 6:53 pm

Kurgan wrote:
I posted a bathroom flexing photo on a social networking site once. No picture has ever given me more attention, despite the fact that my hair was a mess and that I sported two weeks worth of stubble.


Any relationships come about as a result of it?


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Kurgan
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16 May 2012, 6:58 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
I posted a bathroom flexing photo on a social networking site once. No picture has ever given me more attention, despite the fact that my hair was a mess and that I sported two weeks worth of stubble.


Any relationships come about as a result of it?


No. But from all my years of using a regular picture, I've only gotten one serious relationship.



ValentineWiggin
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16 May 2012, 7:00 pm

Kurgan wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
I posted a bathroom flexing photo on a social networking site once. No picture has ever given me more attention, despite the fact that my hair was a mess and that I sported two weeks worth of stubble.


Any relationships come about as a result of it?


No. But from all my years of using a regular picture, I've only gotten one serious relationship.



Is that more or less serious relationships than you've gotten from using profiles with shirtless photos?


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"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."