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NeantHumain
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29 May 2012, 8:02 am

Does it seem odd to others that, at least for males, Asperger's syndrome is more a disqualification from dating than cheaters, wifebeaters/abusers, criminals/thugs, and various other assorted lowlife?



Blownmind
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29 May 2012, 8:08 am

NeantHumain wrote:
Does it seem odd to others that, at least for males, Asperger's syndrome is more a disqualification from dating than cheaters, wifebeaters/abusers, criminals/thugs, and various other assorted lowlife?

If you mean "disqualifying", I don't agree.


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HisDivineMajesty
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29 May 2012, 8:13 am

What I do encounter, sometimes, is men who are not attractive at all - even less so than me - who are in a happy relationship. A convicted serial killer often receives love letters. Joran van der Sloot was able to get laid even after everyone knew he had murdered Nathalie Holloway (he murdered another one who slept with him after that). I haven't even murdered anyone. Dating-wise, I'm deemed less desirable than murderers.



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29 May 2012, 9:55 am

Ineresting post! Well another disqualifier is being a devout Christian. Another is being a really good, kind person as well. I guess there is no thrill or chase involved. Maybe that's why.
I've been married for a long time now but when I was single, I was NEVER asked out. I was stylish, attractive, and educated. My grandmother said something as a joke once but I think it may have been a truth that seems bizarre. I didn't smell right - but smell meaning animal kingdon smell - not cologne or B.O. No human phernomes. Sometime I think that we aspies all share that from birth. It's people's rejections that make us even moreso awkward - like a vicious cycle.



JanuaryMan
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29 May 2012, 9:56 am

HisDivineMajesty wrote:
What I do encounter, sometimes, is men who are not attractive at all - even less so than me - who are in a happy relationship. A convicted serial killer often receives love letters. Joran van der Sloot was able to get laid even after everyone knew he had murdered Nathalie Holloway (he murdered another one who slept with him after that). I haven't even murdered anyone. Dating-wise, I'm deemed less desirable than murderers.


Never too late to start.. :lol:



rabbittss
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29 May 2012, 10:07 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Ineresting post! Well another disqualifier is being a devout Christian. Another is being a really good, kind person as well. I guess there is no thrill or chase involved. Maybe that's why.
I've been married for a long time now but when I was single, I was NEVER asked out. I was stylish, attractive, and educated. My grandmother said something as a joke once but I think it may have been a truth that seems bizarre. I didn't smell right - but smell meaning animal kingdon smell - not cologne or B.O. No human phernomes. Sometime I think that we aspies all share that from birth. It's people's rejections that make us even moreso awkward - like a vicious cycle.


Oh, anecdote for that. I went for 6 years without having any contact with a woman... then last October I met this girl with BPD and we wound up fooling around a few times.. Afterwords it's like whenever I go some place I get tons of female attention.. just none of it's from females I'm interested in. So I think there is definitely something to the whole pheromone thing..



Kurgan
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29 May 2012, 10:11 am

rabbittss wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Ineresting post! Well another disqualifier is being a devout Christian. Another is being a really good, kind person as well. I guess there is no thrill or chase involved. Maybe that's why.
I've been married for a long time now but when I was single, I was NEVER asked out. I was stylish, attractive, and educated. My grandmother said something as a joke once but I think it may have been a truth that seems bizarre. I didn't smell right - but smell meaning animal kingdon smell - not cologne or B.O. No human phernomes. Sometime I think that we aspies all share that from birth. It's people's rejections that make us even moreso awkward - like a vicious cycle.


Oh, anecdote for that. I went for 6 years without having any contact with a woman... then last October I met this girl with BPD and we wound up fooling around a few times.. Afterwords it's like whenever I go some place I get tons of female attention.. just none of it's from females I'm interested in. So I think there is definitely something to the whole pheromone thing..


Seems to me like many girls notice if you're very inexperienced. This is typically one of the major dealbreakers.



rabbittss
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29 May 2012, 10:12 am

Kurgan wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Ineresting post! Well another disqualifier is being a devout Christian. Another is being a really good, kind person as well. I guess there is no thrill or chase involved. Maybe that's why.
I've been married for a long time now but when I was single, I was NEVER asked out. I was stylish, attractive, and educated. My grandmother said something as a joke once but I think it may have been a truth that seems bizarre. I didn't smell right - but smell meaning animal kingdon smell - not cologne or B.O. No human phernomes. Sometime I think that we aspies all share that from birth. It's people's rejections that make us even moreso awkward - like a vicious cycle.


Oh, anecdote for that. I went for 6 years without having any contact with a woman... then last October I met this girl with BPD and we wound up fooling around a few times.. Afterwords it's like whenever I go some place I get tons of female attention.. just none of it's from females I'm interested in. So I think there is definitely something to the whole pheromone thing..


Seems to me like many girls notice if you're very inexperienced. This is typically one of the major dealbreakers.


I don't know how they would know. So You'll have to provide proof of some sort to back that claim up.



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29 May 2012, 10:31 am

People become nervous doing things they are not used to do/inexperienced at and others can see that they are nervous/feeling a bit uncomfortable.
This is supported by just about every article on the subject of being nervous and whatnot.

A few years ago a friend I recently met grabbed my hand on the street. I was about to crush into someone else and she didnt think of telling me something instead I guess.
I didnt say a word to her about it and I didnt make any conscious change on my posture/anything however 3 minutes later she was apologizing.
I told her it was fine and there was no need to apologize yet she still said that she could see I was upset so I tried to explain her that Im not used to unexpected touch.

How did she know? I dont have a clue. But Im aware that its not a unique experience(meeting new people makes me nervous 3/10 times they ask me if I have a problem with them because they saw I was uncomfortable...)



rabbittss
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29 May 2012, 10:53 am

well then the problem is with them, not with me.



spongy
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29 May 2012, 11:03 am

rabbittss wrote:
well then the problem is with them, not with me.

Nobody said the problem was with you.

You asked how would they know if you are inexperienced and I provided my own explanation.
I could be wrong though



rabbittss
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29 May 2012, 11:11 am

spongy wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
well then the problem is with them, not with me.

Nobody said the problem was with you.

You asked how would they know if you are inexperienced and I provided my own explanation.
I could be wrong though


I still don't understand how they would know. They haven't asked, so they don't know. they are making assumptions.

Ass, U, Me. etc.



JanuaryMan
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29 May 2012, 11:28 am

Call it intuition. Nobody knows those things for certain but a savvy person makes a general assumption and finds a way to handle the situation as sensitively and diplomatic as possible.



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29 May 2012, 2:51 pm

datability = conformity points x social darwinian 'pass' points.

I might have a handful of social darwinian 'pass' points (ie. points that would lead people to choose respect over bullying) but my conformity points are a bit like multiplying that number by high denominator fractions (not quite 'zero' but outlandishly bad nonetheless).


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Adam82
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29 May 2012, 3:54 pm

NeantHumain wrote:
Does it seem odd to others that, at least for males, Asperger's syndrome is more a disqualification from dating than cheaters, wifebeaters/abusers, criminals/thugs, and various other assorted lowlife?


Yes, Aspergers is a dealbreaker for many NT women. It essentially makes us less desirable partners than murderers, and other lowlife, many of whom get love letters in prison. That's a sobering thought.

There's nothing wrong with me, besides my different brain chemistry. So a perfectly nice, friendly, but Aspie guy ends up perma-single like me, whereas a serial killer gets conjugal visits. Go figure. :(



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29 May 2012, 4:27 pm

The most disabling aspect to Asperger’s or ‘high functioning’ ASD are the deficits in social communication.

I read recently that only 7% of communication is in the actual word meanings. (the part we {me} are good at)
That there are over 10,000 individually identifiable (by neurotypical humans) facial expressions.
That there are between 2.5 and 3 million words in the English language.

That’s a lot that I can screw up.

Then there’s body language…

And chicks are highly aware of what’s ‘normal’ and not.


But on the third hand chicks seem unable to resist the adventure and drama that clouds around the ‘bad boys’ like a stench of burnt motor oil.

Maybe it’s because they can relax and have fun because it’s no big loss to be dumped by a loser. Maybe they’re really just slumming.

Conversely we (thread) are posting on a site called the Wrong Planet.


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Last edited by 1401b on 04 Jun 2012, 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.