edgewaters wrote:
Unfortunately I have to agree with HDM here. First impressions are important. We all apply filters, and we all do so heuristically. There is no other way - if you didn't, you would have to either attempt to strike up a deep friendship or relationship with every single person you meet, or no one at all, because without first impression, you would (without trying) interact with every person in an exactly equal way.
Some people use bad heuristics, and this is what you're picking up on as shallow. Developing good heuristics is something that takes people time, and heuristics, by their very nature, are typically somewhat flawed even at their best. But I don't think of the process of first impressions itself, apart from its specifics, as terribly shallow in principle. We attempt to seek the like-minded and evade those likely to cause us problems, so does everyone else. This is natural. People could be better at it, but they could never forego it.
This. I'd not thought about being shallow = bad heuristics yet
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To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. - Winston Churchill