perfectionism

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I have a friend who could be a potential "lover" according to some signs / him being extremely obvious. But his submissiveness really bothers me and I'm not that physically attracted to him and don't really care about things like if he gets his feelings hurt (but I care about this with a couple other people)

We share a lot of the same interests and have some similar learning difficulties, but this person has different taste in foods and that sort of thing. My last lover was great in this way because even if we were in different mental places or even irritated with each other, we could really appreciate the same foods together and these little things kept us together a while. But he ended up calling me a welded shut metal box.

But it's more like - I have some serious sexual tension going on driving me nuts so I'm evaluating my options.

I wish I could put it into words why so many women find a little submissiveness (which I thought was "being cooperative" in my mind) as such a repulsive quality. That's my biggest failing right now... working on it.