I don't want to have kids!

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I never want kids. I hate babies and todlers. They are loud and sticky and just disgusting. I do however, like kids that are 9 years or older. I also don't want something that takes up the rest of my life. Does any one else feel this way or am I the only one?

There are lot of people out there who don't like kids so they never have any, they call themselves childfree.

I felt the same way as you did when I was your age (your profile says you are 15) and while I know for a fact I'm not ready to have kids, being almost 19 my opinions have changed quite a bit and do want some possibly in the future. Just give it time because you never know how you're opinions may change as you mature.

I don't want to have kids ever, and I'm 29. I guess that's because I had a late start on everything: lived at home through college, didn't start properly dating until age 22, didn't move out into my own place until 24, which means I didn't start truly enjoying the freedoms of adulthood until age 24 as well. Even now, when partying every night is out of the question, and even going clubbing every weekend no longer seems fun, I still don't think I'm ready to have a family, and won't be a for a long time, if ever. Plus, with the way a lot of parents let their children scream and/or run around in public, it's only putting me off the idea of having children even more.

You're only 15. You'll probably be singing a different tune in, oh, 10 years or so.

Last edited by redrobin62 on 05 Jun 2012, 2:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't want kids either. I am too irresponsible to be a parent. I do not want to emotionally damage a kid by subjecting them to my meltdowns, shutdowns etc. I don't want any of my medical conditions to be passed on to another person. Most of the aspie mothers I know have kids on the spectrum, as much as I hate my AS, I could never inflict it on another person. I don't like the idea of pushing a person out a small orifice, or having my stomach split open. Also I don't want to have to make the choice between my health or the risk of potential damage to my baby from the medication I'm on. The risk is slight but with all of the other potential problems (including getting the disease the medication is for) I wouldn't want to make the choice to risk it.

Wouldn't 9 year olds be called friends, not kids. You are only 15 yourself, according to your profile. I wouldn't worry too much about it, just use protection.

Not to insult Redrobin62, which is not the point here, but that is probably the most often uttered phrase I've heard after 1) Where are you from? 2) What's it like to have AS? Granted, you are 'only' 15 years old, but I remember being 12 and thinking "I will never have a child". Twelve years later, I still think the same, even though I am engaged, happy in my relationship, I'm graduating from university next year and it looks like I'll buy a house with my fiancé in two years or so (some of my friends who are in the same situation are already making their family plans).

I (and many others):
1. do not enjoy being with children (except for two, the neighbors' kids)
2. don't want to see my life change dramatically if I have a child (and it will)
3. don't want the possibility over my marriage breaking up if there are ever difficulties with a child (this has happened eight times in my personal circles over the past 10 years)
4. don't want to drift away from my future husband because it takes so much time, energy and money to raise a child
5. don't want a child who could possibly have an ASD and epilepsy, which my fiancé has
6. don't feel I need a child in my life to give it purpose

By far the most important reason deserves a little more sentences. If you've always thought you wouldn't have a child, and suddenly you do, chances are you are either 1) under the influence of people in your environment starting a family (like with women whose friends all become pregnant within 2-3 years), or 2) your biological clock is going off. Either way, those two things heavily influence what you had previously thought. We all know jealousy/feeling of emptiness etc. and physical needs can trigger us to make decision based solely on that. BUT, and this is my life motto, if your body is telling you to have a child, or you feel you cannot be the only one without kids in your circle, do you respond to it? Because it doesn't correspond what you might have thought for years. I'm sorry, but I genuinely don't feel that some of the women I know started to have children because they really wanted to, but because they were tricked to think they did. And I don't lie when I say that those families... Aren't turning out super great.


In conclusion: you cannot foretell the future, but don't let yourself get hung up on things like "You'll feel different in ten years", "You're just a child, you can't say that" or "Everybody will eventually get those feelings". You cannot say what you'll be thinking in ten years, but you CAN say what you want RIGHT NOW for something that could be an issue in about ten years. I'm sure I don't want kids now, or in ten years, but I can never say that this will be the same when I'm actually 34.



Last tips - and then I'll definitely stop sounding like a grandma:
1. If it turns out that, in ten years, you'll be telling this to another 15-year-old - in the meantime, don't lose faith in yourself. Some people don't like to hear that you don't want to procreate, and it's quite natural that they don't, we do, after all, live in a christian society in which procreation seems important. You can do whatever you want in your life.
2. If you notice that this thought is persistent, make sure that in a few years (when child-bearing times are current) your possible partner feels the same.
3. I read on your profile that you like dogs. My fiancé and I are picking up our first pet together, a chameleon, this week and are planning to give home to two dogs in the future. Because, while we don't want children, we do want to care for someone.
4. If you ever get into a heated discussion when trying to answer the question "Why don't you want children?!", ask the person why they do.
5. Never, ever get sterilized. A friend of mine (45) did it because she is gay and definitely didn't want children, but now that she's married to a woman who has two children from a previous marriage to a man, she is devastated. You have the possibility to say you don't want children - maybe it's good to keep this possibility open.

Don't be so quick to trivialize her choice because of her age. I had made my decision by 15, maybe even younger. My list of reasons was the same at 15 as it I posted it earlier, with two exceptions. Irresponsibility, which I had hopes of growing out of, and the pregnancy contraindication w/ my medication, which I didn't know about at the time.

I think many people rush into marriage and children without a real understanding of what their mutual interests are. It's good that you have made the choice to not want children at this time, that should give you more time to understand yourself and aim for more personal goals. Don't let society or anyone pressure you into a situation that you don't want to be in because a child is for life.

So don't have them.

Incidentally, I was younger than 10 when I decided I didn't want children. I'm 28 now and guess what I still don't want?

I've never really been interested. I like riding women though.

I don't want kids either. I see them as a sure way for people to lock others into a relationship they don't want.

I never want kids either and will never have one. I was irresponsible about birth control and ended up pregnant a couple of times as a teenager but I got rid of them.

I have a small kitten now and it is stressing me out so much taking care of it that it reminds me how much I never want kids. I can't wait until it's big enough to wander around the house unsupervised and pretty much take care of itself.

I'm happily childfree and never wanted kids, not one single moment in my life, and also avoid getting in contact with people who have kids, since the latter are simply bothering. Even an alligator would be more welcome.

Since i don't want to have people in my house, even those i do know, how the heck could i be as stupid as allow a person i simply don't know to enter my life and personal space? I mean, how can anyone be sure they are not going to hate their brats?

It's GOOD that you don't want kids at 15. Our society is being destroyed by all these unwed teenage mothers.

Your thoughts will probably change as you get older.