I screwed up a good chance of getting a girlfriend!

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Back in late 2006 when i was 16 this girl approached me and talked too me. i could tell she really liked me and probably wanted too date me except for the fact that i did not feel attracted too her.

Lookng back on it i really do regret my actions becasue she was quite a sweet girl. tonight i have been feeling very depressed becasue i am on my own and sinking deeper into insanity. looking back on its upsetting because omebody wanted too have a relationship and be with me yet i managed stuff it up by rejecting her and i missed a very good oppurtunity at finding a girl would have loved me.

Do you think even if i did try too take it further with this girl that it may not have gone the way i planned since actually forming a proper relationshisp for us aspies are very complicated? May it not have gone the way i planned? apperently from what i heard this girl lives quite a few miles away from me ( i live near london and she lives down by the coast right too west of england). i guess i could kinda attempt too get into contact with her again but she has probably moved on now

Contacting her is a bad idea as there are so many ways that could be seen as antisocial. By all means, take a look at what went wrong back then and what you can do to avoid doing it again. Consider seeing a therapist (try CBT) to help you work on forming relationships.

If you were not attracted to her initially, then that is something that is very unlikely to have changed, unfortunately. It's hard enough to manage a relationship when you ARE, EXTREMELY attracted to a person, so I think the chances of you having been able to maintain one, with someone who you didn't have a spark with, would have been very slim (if we're talking about a traditional relationship here).

I don't see the difference between you looking her up and approaching her now- 6 years later, and potentially being rejected, and finding a new girl, in any context (a bar, online dating, at a common-interest club, at uni/work etc) and potentially facing the same rejection- at least with a new girl of your choice, you know you will be attracted to them, and yet what you may lose by approaching is just the same as the girl you knew all that time ago, and weren't attracted to!

I feel really bad about this all. Sounds like you're pretty lonely.

You deserve to be in a relationship with someone you are attracted to. I'm sure the right person will come along.

yeah that's your problem right there.. what have you been doing in the last 6 years?

my experience from messaging folks on facebook whom i haven't seen in 6 years, they do not remember who i am.
while this of course would not apply to those of the female variety who actually took the initiative to try and talk to me (there was one, maybe two or three but i don't recall the number)...there is no point to try and message them.

It's pretty too late but...

you can try to add her on fb, people add old friends all the time, chat with her on fb, you can never know.

Maybe you can attempt to hang out with her like the "old days"


PS: if she's single and she liked you once before, she WILL like you again if she's willing to meet you. Old crushes often re-wake up easily.

Not to sound funny but..

Why are you thinking back to girls you weren't interested in 6 years simply because they paid you some interest?
Where have you been the last 6 years?
Why would you go for someone that, 6 years ago, you didn't find attractive? Don't you think that's super desperate?

Do you find her attractive now?

If you didn't find her attractive; you prob wouldn't have been happy.

Have you talked to her at all in 6 years? It would be kinna weird if you contact her. I'm sure she's long moved on.

In the last 6 years i have been tied up with college work although i am on a break at the moment.

i don't see my friends as often as i would like too either.

Six. Years.

Move on with your life - dwelling in the past to such an extreme means you're really missing out on the present!

A missed opportunity is a missed opportunity. You can't go back.

I had a similar case in my youth, I only figured out that she liked me through a mutual friend 3 years after the fact. I did actually have a crush on the girl back then, but I realized that learning from the past is one thing, being stuck in it is another. In fear of sounding like a Zen Buddhist or something, by focusing on the past, you are doomed to remain in the same place.

Plus, odds are this girl/woman will have had 5 - 8 or more boyfriends in that 6 year period.

I think everyone thinks of what if scenarios but there are no time machines and somethings can never be changed. I've passed up on several women and regret it but I can only learn from those experiences and learn never to do that again. I passed up a women I thought was too good for me but little did I know I would have had a chance with her if I would have made an effort. Well I didn't make enough of an effort to try to date her so now she's dating a guy who doesn't have nearly the credentials I have(he doesn't even have a high school diploma). What did I learn? I learned I'm not so bad after all and I should never sell myself short for anyone.

Getting back on your case, I think six years maybe too late and that's a long time to think about a women. She most likely moved on and so should you.

As everybody else is saying 6 years seems a little long to wait then contact her.

However your concern with a missed girl 6 years past has made me want to do something. I know a girl who I was told expressed interest in me. I was previously scarred by myself and the age difference (although reasonable, I found it scarry). She is pretty, nice, and seems to be very understanding the aspie me even though she has no way of knowing (I never told her, and none of my friends who could have know).